DALLAS—The world fell silent this week as high-school graduate Paxton Smith imparted her vast wisdom gained from over 18 years of being alive on an awestruck crowd.
“I was going to share some funny stories and life lessons from my senior year in high school, but I realized I had something more important to say,” she said as the crowd inched closer to glean a bit of transcendent knowledge from the young teen. “Abortion is totally cool and Republicans want to stop it. That’s a violation of my personal right to kill my baby. Not cool, Republicans!”
