Nation Pauses, Attentive, While High School Graduate Divulges Wisdom Derived From Many, Many Years Of Life Experience

Via The Babylon Bee

DALLAS—The world fell silent this week as high-school graduate Paxton Smith imparted her vast wisdom gained from over 18 years of being alive on an awestruck crowd.

“I was going to share some funny stories and life lessons from my senior year in high school, but I realized I had something more important to say,” she said as the crowd inched closer to glean a bit of transcendent knowledge from the young teen. “Abortion is totally cool and Republicans want to stop it. That’s a violation of my personal right to kill my baby. Not cool, Republicans!”

The crowd leapt to its feet and cheered. Many in the crowd could be seen weeping, having witnessed such incredible courage and wisdom from one so young. “I had never really thought of it that way before!” said one parent who attended the graduation. “My thinking has been changed forever!”

In an interview with CNN, Smith said she drew on her 4 years of experience being indoctrinated by leftist teachers and mass media as well as that one pregnancy scare she had that led her to kill her child for the sake of her future career.

“My lived experience has made me what I am today,” she said. “I’m glad I’ve been given a platform to share my wisdom with girls who will come after me.”

Millions of aborted babies could not be reached for comment.

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12 Comments
Ken31
Ken31
June 5, 2021 8:14 pm

They do maintain their Christian satire identity.

That girl is so brave and empowered to kill babies!

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
June 5, 2021 8:36 pm

Sorry about your dad.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
June 5, 2021 9:36 pm

Around here, they kill the mike if the speaker goes off script. Of course, the only time it happened was when a conservative started to talk about God. They would probably leave an abortion message alone.

rhs jr
rhs jr
June 5, 2021 10:53 pm

I know this is sick humor. But seriously, there are way fewer White babies being born than one could expect and I think the Monsanto GMO’s that cause sperm to become damaged, and Zygotes to fail to implant in the womb are partly to blame. The Shot may also further reduce the number of babies. Friends, the thousands of babies TPTB have murdered with GMOs, the thousands murdered by withholding HCQ from people with early symptoms of CV-19, and the thousands murdered with The Shot is a Crime Against Humanity that should be Publicly Internationally Investigated, Tried, and the Guilty Parties given Life Sentences, no matter how rich and infamous they are.

Ken31
Ken31
  rhs jr
June 5, 2021 10:57 pm

I don’t think white people tolerate population density very well. Maybe the TV induces those reactions like how light patterns affect circadian rhythms.

The single #1 by far hands down cause for low birthrates is feminism.

Frank
Frank
June 5, 2021 11:00 pm

Attended a high school graduation – the valedictorian gave a speech deriding property rights, as it was a tool of suppression. Since he lived in an apartment with his girlfriend, I was tempted to go up to him afterwards and say that, since locks and doors are means of enforcing property rights, I would guess that he would not mind taking off the door to his apartment in order to strike a blow against suppression.
On second thought, with his being young and clueless, I knew it would just be a waste of time.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Frank
June 5, 2021 11:53 pm

Perhaps we could define a cult as the belief that everybody else should do the right thing.

Ken31
Ken31
  'Reality' Doug
June 6, 2021 6:50 am

That certainly sounds prima facie accurate.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
June 5, 2021 11:25 pm

Auntie is betting that this Paxton Smith was first in line and proudly took the experimental, emergency use authorized, genetic modification therapy injection.

She is the abortion now.

Leah
Leah
  Auntie Kriest
June 6, 2021 1:41 am

Dear valedictorian, what if your mom had an abortion with you in her womb?

musket
musket
June 6, 2021 6:42 am

She will now go off to the Austin Normal School and parade around with the rest of the classless clowns and their phallic symbols……..

RiNS
RiNS
June 6, 2021 7:07 am

This woman has done nothing heroic…. nothing!

https://www.cnn.com/2021/06/03/us/paxton-smith-texas-valedictorian-speech-trnd/index.html

I do wonder why the Principal didn’t cut off the sound to her mic.
And CNN did line up to get an interview with her afterwards.
Along with a slew of others.
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