Today is the day. This is the day that 10 million morons will wait in line for hours and sometimes days to get a fucking phone. It’s a phone people!!!!
Sometimes I think I’m too hard on the ignorant masses and their sheeplike qualities. It’s days like today where I realize how shallow and vapid our society has become. A corporation upgrades a fucking phone for the 5th time, the mainstream media works itself into a frenzy, Wall Street drives the stock price of the corporation to ridiculous valuations with their hype machine, and the non-critical thinking masses camp out for days so they can be the 1st person on their block to have a fucking phone. The phone will be available next week and the week after that. How fucking worthless must your life be to sit in line for days to get a fucking phone?
The coup de grace of this charade is that most of the iTards who buy this phone for $399 will put it on their credit card because they can’t actually afford the phone. This delusional wasteland of gadgets, debt and brainlessness is a sight to see. As I drove towards my parking garage on campus, there were long lines of people in front of the Verizon store on one block and another long line in front of the AT&T store on the next block. The numbskulls waiting in line appeared to be a mixture of college students and West Philly’s finest. I expect to see a few homies talking on their iPhone 5 as they head beack to their Section 8 housing gated townhouses later today. Only a few more days until their EBT card gets replenished.
IPhone 5 sale draws huge crowds
NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — Jessica Mellow has been in line for more than 180 hours — that’s eight straight days — waiting to buy an iPhone 5. She’s been woken up by cops, “showered” in a torrential downpour, and watched two taxis collide right in front of the growing crowd outside Apple’s gleaming retail cube on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue.
In just a few more minutes, Apple (AAPL, Fortune 500) will finally deliver the prize she and thousands of line-sitters around the world are waiting for. The iPhone 5 goes on sale at 8 a.m. local time on Friday in the U.S., Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore and the UK.
The phone is virtually guaranteed to be Apple’s all-time bestseller.Apple took more than 2 million pre-orders in the first 24 hours, shattering last year’s iPhone 4S record, and analysts forecast that it will sell as many as 10 million units by Monday morning. Apple’s early inventory is already sold out: Online orders placed now won’t ship for three to four weeks.
Those hoping to snag an iPhone 5 right now will need to brave a retail line. Apple’s stores typically have the best stockpiles, but they also draw the longest lines. By Friday morning, Apple’s Fifth Avenue flagship had a line that stretched down an entire city block and wrapped around.
Apple’s lines traditionally draw a mix of marketers, Apple zealots and more casual fans. Natalie Lopez, 32, joined the line at 5:30 a.m. Friday.
“I’ve got the original iPhone. I’ve been sitting on it for 5 years. I’m just excited to upgrade it to something new,” she said.
Alex Brooks upgrades his Apple phone every cycle and typically sells the old model. (An iPhone 4S can still snag well over $200 on many resale sites.) He said he’s excited about trading up for a lighter, thinner, faster phone.
The crowd at the Apple Store at Grand Central Station was quiet but large about 40 minutes ahead of opening time. The line snaked from the Main Concourse, down hundreds of feet of corridor, to a sign for the exit at 48th St. and Park Avenue. A handful of iPhone hopefuls stepped right up to the marble staircase that leads to the Apple Store — and appeared bewildered when pointed down the corridor toward a long and growing line.
People were still jumping in line at 7:30 a.m. One twentysomething man arrived breathless, asking, “Is this the line for the iPhone 5?”
“It’s the line for the express train to Poughkeepsie,” a security guard quipped.
Several people at the back of the line were heard asking each other, “Do you know how many iPhones they have today?” Everyone shrugged.
Many people in line at Grand Central were passing the time using other Apple gadgets like Macs and iPhones.
A variety of other retailers — including carriers AT&T (T, Fortune 500), Verizon (VZ, Fortune 500) and Sprint (S, Fortune 500) — will also have the iPhone 5 available for sale on Friday, but their stashes could go fast.
A total of zero people were in line at a Radio Shack less than a block away from Grand Central shortly before the iPhone was slated to go on sale.
Representatives at several Best Buy (BBY, Fortune 500) locations in Manhattan said the stores were still receiving their shipments on Thursday afternoon, and that they therefore didn’t know many units would be available for purchase Friday morning.
An employee at one Best Buy location in the NoHo section of lower Manhattan said that store is opening at 8 a.m. ET, but the iPhone 5 “will probably be sold out for anyone who didn’t pre-order.”
The Fifth Avenue Best Buy, near Grand Central Station, is opening at 9 a.m. An employee who answered the phone at that location said “a whole bunch” of people had pre-ordered the iPhone 5 and that many others called this week asking for details.
Employees at Verizon Wireless stores in Manhattan were similarly tight-lipped. The Grand Central location is opening at 8 a.m., but a representative said she had no information on the number of phones that would be available. Ten minutes before the iPhone’s sale time, the store had a line of around 3 dozen shoppers.
Related story: Where iPhone 5 will have 4G
Callers who contacted the Verizon store near Times Square were greeted by a recorded message trumpeting that the location will open early, at 8 a.m., for the launch of the iPhone 5. A store manager said he was “not able to disclose the amount of units.”
Apple’s iPhone 5 release comes nearly one year after Apple’s iPhone 4S, the model that introduced the world to Siri. The thinner, faster iPhone 5 is Apple’s first hardware overhaul in several years. Reviewers have praised the phone’s bigger screen, zippy processor, stellar camera and elegant packaging, but two major changes sparked blowback.
Apple’s redesigned “Lightning” connector will require a pricey adapter to link up with old accessories (and it won’t work at all with some of them), and early adopters have almost universally blasted Apple’s new Map app, which replaced the more-polished Google Maps. A satirical Tumblr, theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com, popped up on Thursday to highlight the ludicrously inaccurate suggestions the new app often makes.
Apple’s fans were undaunted.
“I heard maps isn’t so great, so that’s pretty disappointing, but I’m sure they’ll make it better,” Lopez said.
Some days I look out the window and wonder if our society is doomed. Then there are other days, days like today, when I am certain of it.
It’s really hard not to see the reasoning behind the international elites quest to reduce the global population.
Tweet this…
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guess not..
I got a new iphone, and an app to make it vibrate. I stick it up my ass. It’s almost like my boyfriend’s schlong.
I’d stick with my iPhone 3GS (bought it for less than $100 from ATT) from here to eternity, its the best phone I’ve ever had but…
fucking Apple and their policy of forced obsolescence. I’ve got about two months of life left in my phone and I’m afraid that if I switch away from an apple product I’ll lose my unlimited data plan (I got grandfathered in).
The iRobots are standing in the iLine to buy with iFiat an iPhone5 that directly beams iPropaganda into their little iMushBrains and they can store their iCrap in the iCloud.
iSweet!
I wonder if their iPhone comes preloaded with the iSPY iApp that allows them to iTweet suspicious behaviour of other iRobots to the fed.gov fusion centers?
http://www.infowars.com/ispy-for-the-government/
I am suprise there hasn’t been a “terrorist” attack on the folks who wait in these lines. I mean, if you were a really bad person, they would be like sitting ducks at the video arcade. John
Stucky
Major demerits to you. Two masturbation comments, one with actual penis shown. I’m very disappointed in you. Go stand in the corner with your dunce hat on, say 1500 hail mary’s, and post at least 5 photos of scantily clad latin women.
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FWIW, after years of insisting on a “dumbass” phone, I am relenting to my boss’s pleading and joining the 21st century and the wonderful(?) world of Iphones. Gonna get a 4S-they are a hundred bucks now. Then get an Otter box (or equivalent) so I hopefully don’t break the bitch. Then get a lead-lined Pelican case, so it won’t track my whereabouts when it’s nobody’s damn business.
PS-I ain’t waiting in line, either.
What a bunch of idiots. But, I say, look at the science:
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Stucky
Wasn’t me. I don’t post comments without signing in.
I still have my “dumb phone” that is about 5 years old. Was given to me. I have bought 2 cell phones in my life, both when I changed carriers. The rest were given to me from people wanting the latest new phone.
The only thing I have ever bought from Apple is an I-Pod for my wife years ago and stock at $75. Sold that stock recently for $650 a share, thank you my lovely little sheep for making that happen. Fuck Apple. Dont need an I-Pad or any Smart Phone, have a nice computer at home. My phone is for calls nothing else. And please don’t text me because I am way to busy to sit and type on a little fuckin phone. Just call, I am not afraid to actually talk to you.
Today I must go to Sprint because they said my phone will not work anymore after the first of the year. Told me the reason why but I did not even listen, I know it’s an upgrade of some sorts. Off to Verizon to see what they have to offer and don’t even offer me a “Smart Phone” I don’t want one, just a basic phone.
Many friends call me a tight ass and I really don’t care, I am debt free and my eyes are wide open. Maybe I will stop at the gun range on the way home and get a little practice. Beats sitting in a line waiting for a phone. Fucking Idiots.
I don’t follow tech gadgets, and waiting in line for one?!
But I got a ‘smartphone’ in January, and it’s awesome. I have a portable audio and video library with me everywhere I go.
Akanon: Once you get a smart phone you’ll fucking love it. The best thing about iTards is when they flock, you can not only get the old version very cheap, their competing android models…. which I like…. are cheaper.
Apple Creates New Job Category: Professional, Like, Line-Waiters
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 09/21/2012
Some have argued that iPhone 5 will single-handedly save the world’s economy and indeed it seems an entire new category of employment has been created thanks to the pathetic desperation of so many needing the new ‘old’ iPhone. As Bloomberg BusinessWeek reports, among the thousands of people expected to wait for hours outside of Apple’s stores today, at least a couple hundred of them will be paid just to stand there. TaskRabbit appears to be the pre-emptive winner in ‘arranging’ these ‘waiting-in-line’ deals as one ‘queuer’ stated “I am a professional line waiter.”
Of course, the conspiracist would wonder aloud whether these crowd-fillers and line-waiters are indirectly ‘purchased’ to create more buzz by the demigod itself. Nevertheless, what an inspiration these Americans are: “I’ve done other waiting-in-line things. I think it’s going to end up being, like, my specialty.”
My 5 year old phone. It gets 4 minutes of usage per month. I don’t send texts.
I receive texts and my normal response is OK or NO.
My kids send and receive more texts in one hour than I’ve sent in my entire life.
What’s an Iphone?
Admin: If you had ever found yourself single/ uncommited in the past 10 years, the story would have been different.
In ’04 or so, I was meeting womens and calling…. no answer. I was like wtf? Then I started getting texts like crazy and I was like “oh, I get it”.
Next thing I know, everywhere all the time, texting away to a list of numbers…. losing track of who, didn’t matter. At least the record was listed: What/ where/ what chick. Kinda nice.
Once you pimp up texting, it changes EVERYTHING.
I’m with Admin. Smartphones make you stupid.
The Ari Gold Syndrome: Can Smartphones Make You Stupid?
Do you have trouble going “off the grid” to the point that you sometimes damage your relationships? Do you know someone who has this problem? Many successful people feel totally tethered to their smartphones at the risk of alienating people that they care about.
If you want to step back from being constantly drawn to your iPhone or blackberry, or want to help someone who has this problem, try some of the things below.
Step 1: Self-awareness
Separate psychological dependence from actual business or social need. Do a self-assessment and answer the following questions:
What do I use my smartphone for? Email? Text? Facebook? Twitter other social media? News? Games? Which of those are most necessary? Which ones should I do less of?
What do my contacts expect from me in terms of immediacy of reply? Are those demands realistic? Can I manage their expectations of an immediate reply?
Am I a victim of The Ari Gold Syndrome? Does being constantly wired impact my personal relationships?
Do I interrupt my conversations with smartphone messages/calls?
Does my time on my smartphone keep me from being with people?
If my smartphone impacts my life in a negative way, do I want to change my patterns? If yes, then move to step
Colma
If I only knew I could meet women with an iPhone and texting, I’d have been all over it.
I’m going to get in line now. Don’t tell Avalon.
My dopple dreams of a vibrating schlong … probably has nude pic of Bwarney Franks in their wallet as well.
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Else than calling people.I like the calender and calculator and alarm clock.Im waiting for my phones contract to expire,then just load a tracphone i have,no more contracts and it ends up being cheaper. Those imagesof people in line make you wonder if our country well make it.
And Stucky becomes too fat and lazy to pound his own pud and soon discovers there’s an app for that too,
These days phone have to be SMART, just to make it possible for a dumb-ass majority to use them.
I keep a periodic table and some advanced calculator functions on mine. I don’t always have my Ti83 with me, so my phone takes its place.
maybe not so funny after all. all future members of tomorrow’s free shit army…these are the very same zombies who will be coming after the rest of us when it all falls apart. think lost angeles rodney king riots 1992. reginald denny-style. if these sheeple can tear up a wal-mart during the holidays over $2 socks on sale they’ll have no problem climbing over me and you for whatever they think it is they’re entitled to when they’re not getting it anymore.
just saying…
“And Stucky becomes too fat and lazy to pound his own pud and soon discovers there’s an app for that too” ….. flasher
Fuck you.
I already have an app for that. It’s called the MsFreud … $1,599.00 on the App Store, but I got it for free.
SHIT. Looks like that link was removed from that site.
No problemo, here’s the same pic, different site.
Kate, with her hands down her ass
“My 5 year old phone. It gets 4 minutes of usage per month. I don’t send texts. I receive texts and my normal response is OK or NO.”
—-Admin
Ditto. We have the exact same phone, too.
Admin: Just saying… utility and consumer preference.
Oh God shoot me I’m talking like THEM
Yes, I pay my gay black lover with oxycotins I get from AWD for allowing him to blow my billy goats willy.
Isn’t this barter economy great?
Admin’s favorite app:
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Find out what you’ll look like in a few years….
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@ Balzytch
Ah, young man’s game.
Because I already know what I’ll look like in the “future,”
thankfully, fat isn’t it.
Now, if only aging skin could be fixed as easily as putting down the fork and taking a walk.
So, don’t these people have real jobs where you actually have to work to get paid?
Paid with fiat that you would use to both buy a $400 toy and pay the $100 (plus) monthly bill for your two years (and that makes the total cost $2800 for your pleasure)?
How can people WITHOUT FUCKING JOBS AFFORD TO SIGN UP FOR A HUNDRED SMACKS A MONTH TO PLAY ANGRY FUCKING BIRDS?????????????
People make me sicker and sicker and sicker.
Ah Stucky, the masturbation app. Just heard this morning that somebody did a poll and discovered that 30% of American men are unable to see their penises when standing upright.
That should explain the app, bunch of dudes missing Mr. Johnson and wanting to look him in the eyes while they pleasure themselves.
America, sinking to new lows in materialism and idiocy with every new digital toy produced.
TPC’s Periodic Table
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Stuck’s Periodic Table
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@TeresaE – Funny pic, but to be fair, I’ve never actually gotten high, or even tried weed.
I’ve taken one drag on a cigarette in my life.
I used to drink like a fish though 🙁
A very helpful app for you youngsters:
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Administrator: Yeah, don’t be copping digits and texting…. don’t mess with a good thing.
As Tom Petty said: “Good Lunch is Hard To Find”
Admin texts OK and No – probably the only words he can spell without his spell- checker. Just sayin’.
Apple Creates New Job Category: Professional, Like, Line-Waiters
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 09/21/2012 11:36 -0400
Some have argued that iPhone 5 will single-handedly save the world’s economy (as we ‘discussed’ here) and indeed it seems an entire new category of employment has been created thanks to the pathetic desperation of so many needing the new ‘old’ iPhone. As Bloomberg BusinessWeek reports, among the thousands of people expected to wait for hours outside of Apple’s stores today, at least a couple hundred of them will be paid just to stand there. TaskRabbit appears to be the pre-emptive winner in ‘arranging’ these ‘waiting-in-line’ deals as one ‘queuer’ stated “I am a professional line waiter.”
Of course, the conspiracist would wonder aloud whether these crowd-fillers and line-waiters are indirectly ‘purchased’ to create more buzz by the demigod itself. Nevertheless, what an inspiration these Americans are: “I’ve done other waiting-in-line things. I think it’s going to end up being, like, my specialty.”
Admin doesn’t even read his own threads (see AWD 11:51 above). We do need a change in leadership around here.
I bet mine gets more thumbs up.
AKAnon said:
“Then get an Otter box (or equivalent) so I hopefully don’t break the bitch. Then get a lead-lined Pelican case, so it won’t track my whereabouts when it’s nobody’s damn business.”
You gonna need a bag to tote that thing around in? lol
The i-Tards are doing their part to make the mega-rich richer and the poor poorer by standing in line for days at a time, or even paying slightly smarter people to stand in line for them, to flip out their credit cards and pay 14% or more interest on $400 to replace a gadget almost just like the one they’re buying that they bought last year and are probably still paying for.
The income divide in this country would probably narrow drastically if the sheeple would cut up their plastic and decide to do whatever the ef it takes to live within or below their means and eschew credit. I can’t tell you how much pleasure it gives me to deprive our financial moguls of interest income. If we all did, they’d get much poorer very quickly, and we’d all be richer.
@M’sM-Yep, viable excuse to wear a (concealed carry) fanny pack. Of course, when the lead-lined Pelican case isn’t needed, I’ll probably carry it on my belt. Hopefully it conceals my IWB holster clips.