With riots raging in Ferguson, MO following the shooting death by police of an unarmed African-American youth, the nation has turned its eyes toward social injustice and the continuing crisis of race relations. Here are The Onion’s tips for being an unarmed black teen in America:
- Shy away from dangerous, heavily policed areas.
- Avoid swaggering or any other confident behavior that suggests you are not completely subjugated.
- Be sure not to pick up any object that could be perceived by a police officer as a firearm, such as a cell phone, a food item, or nothing.
- Explain in clear and logical terms that you do not enjoy being shot, and would prefer that it not happen.
- Don’t let society stereotype you as a petty criminal. Remember that you can be seen as so much more, from an armed robbery suspect, to a rape suspect, to a murder suspect.
- Try to see it from a police officer’s point of view: You may be unarmed, but you’re also black.
- Avoid wearing clothing associated with the gang lifestyle, such as shirts and pants.
- Revel in the fact that by simply existing, you exert a threatening presence over the nation’s police force.
- Be as polite and straightforward as possible when police officers are kicking the shit out of you.
Sad but in some ways so VERY TRUE !
And do NOT wear a shirt that says “Copfuks suck diseased donkey-dik”
The onion validates my proposition that cops kill when they feel threatened, funny how they never shot peace lovin’ hippies.
Any day of the week, you hear of cops killing Mexicans here in LA. Of course only the Spanish channels cover it and after a day or two, the issue goes away until another shooting occurs.
Like in the movie, ‘They shoot horses don’t they?’ cops just have to keep people dancing to the music of the state.
Usually, The Onion is fucking hilarious… but this just sucks too much libtard dick for me…
MY tips for our nations “Yoofs” and “Teens”….
– If you don’t want to be thought of as animals, stop acting like one.
– QUIT BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW.
– Stop raping white women.
– Stop shooting each other over dumb shit like sneakers or the color of a t-shirt. “He dis-resekted me!” is not a valid defense in court when you kill someone.
– Black males – stop abandoning your women and children. At least TRY to be a role model.
– Black females – stop spreading your fucking legs and grunting out multiple chillens from multiple “baby-daddy’s” so you can get more Free Shit.
– Speak proper English. Nobody will hire you if they can’t understand you.
– Dress decently. Nobody is going to hire you if you look like a street thug or have no concept of what a “belt” is.
– At least TRY to do well in the free school we give you.
– Stop glorifying mindless violence in that “rap” shit you all listen to.
– Stop degrading your females in that “rap” shit you all listen to.
– When something truly fucked up happens, burning your own shit down doesn’t help.
– Stop flash mobbing.
– Stop flash robbing.
– Stop “Polar Bear Hunting”, aka “The Knockout Game”.
– Take personal responsibility for your actions. Blaming “Whitey” for all your troubles is sort of a pussified way to live life. Might want to man up sometime.
– Get off the Free Shit Express and DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE. Waiting around for someone – like Da Gubbermin’ – to give you a job is a fool’s errand.
– Lose the overblown sense of entitlement. The world does not owe you a favor or a living.
– If you don’t want to get shot by the cops, then STOP BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW.
– If you don’t want to get beat by the cops, THEN STOP BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW.
– Did I mention STOP BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW?
There’s more, but since most blacks won’t read this list – or are illiterate and are incapable of reading it – or will read it but won’t understand it – or will read it and blow it off as “acting white” – there’s a good chance I just wasted 10 minutes of my life…
Meh.
Well said Billy, very well said
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/08/15/ferguson-police-say-michael-brown-fit-description-strong-arm-robbery-suspect/
Billy ,you are right but nothing is going change these people. Watched a show last night where in one part of Africa this tribe abandons their children at about the age of six or seven. Just throws them out to forge for themselves. I finally turned the Damn TV off but yet we are constantly told to believe all cultures are equal.
Billy
Nice rant.
Best line. “Nobody is going to hire you if you have ……. no concept of what a belt is.”
When I first visited the USA when younger, I called a cop a “flatfoot” after seeing it in a show on TV. I didn’t mean anything, saying it half sarcastically. The cop slammed me up against the wall & threatened me because he didn’t know what it meant. I explained it. He didn’t even apologize, nothing.
That was the 1st lesson on cops’ true purpose.
Young white teens I talk to about things are also being harassed by police & arrested for doing threatening things like hanging in parks after sundown, riding bikes & jumping curbs, skateboarding in places that are off-limits for no reason. The arrest usually comes after not complying with some stupid request that the cops think they should obey. I advise these kids of their rights as many do not know. The rich kids are left alone or warned, the poorer kids no.
Some have been roughed up by cops, but not shot for no reason. U can feel that is coming next as these teens have no jobs or few things to keep them busy also. Idle hands…