New Hillary Clinton Ad Features Just Kittens

Guest Post by

BROOKLYN (The Borowitz Report)—Hillary Clinton has followed up the official announcement of her candidacy with a new campaign ad featuring nothing but kittens.

The sixty-second spot stars an assortment of kittens—tabbies, calicoes, Siamese, and a dozen other breeds—in a variety of adorable vignettes.

At various points in the advertisement, the kittens are shown playing in a sock drawer, tangled up in yarn, and chasing a duckling.

Clinton herself appears only in the final seconds of the ad, saying merely, “Hi. I’m Hillary.”

The commercial immediately drew the wrath of the Republican National Committee chairman, Reince Priebus, who called it “woefully short on substance.”

“There’s no mention of what Hillary Clinton would do to grow our struggling economy, fix the disaster of Obamacare, or repair our damaged reputation abroad,” a visibly furious Priebus told Fox News. “It’s just cats.”

In defense of the ad, the Clinton campaign issued the following statement: “America loves kittens. Loving kittens makes America strong. Hillary is ready for kittens. Kittens are ready for Hillary. Meow meow meow meow.”


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5 Comments
Dutchman
Dutchman
April 13, 2015 12:26 pm

Is this the Onion?

Persnickety
Persnickety
April 13, 2015 1:10 pm

It’s getting harder and harder to distinguish “real” news from “faux” news.

card802
card802
April 13, 2015 2:52 pm

I think using kittens is brilliant, I know people will fall for it and hi liar y’s people should run with it.

Hope, Change and Forward worked, why not kittens?

dc.sunsets
dc.sunsets
April 14, 2015 9:31 am

Satire or real, the fix is in.

USA Today, Time, and every other MSM rag (paper and online) is in full-court-press to get her elected.

The only hope to see this unreconstructed Stalinist harpy permanently sidelined in politics is for the markets to collapse between now and Nov 2016.

If that happens, the anti-incumbent (and anti-Deep Politics) sentiment should be enough to see her political aspirations permanently shit-canned.