Saudi Executioner Thinks He Pulled Something In Shoulder During Last 10 Decapitations

AL MUZAHIMIYAH, SAUDI ARABIA—Complaining that he must have “tweaked it pretty good,” Saudi executioner Khalid al-Faraj told reporters Thursday that he thinks he pulled something in his shoulder during yesterday’s last 10 decapitations. “Around the seventh or eighth beheading I came around kind of awkwardly on my windup and heard this loud pop, and I knew immediately that something wasn’t right, ” said al-Faraj, adding that he attempted to ignore the dull pain spreading through his upper right arm and power through the rest of the executions, but he barely had enough strength left to make a clean slice on the final prisoner. “When I got home I took a few Aleve and put some Icy Hot on it, but this morning when I woke up I couldn’t even lift my arm and the pain had spread down to my elbow. I just hope the swelling goes down soon because I’ve got a pretty big slate on Monday.” Al-Faraj told reporters that, on the orders of his orthopedist, he would have to miss out on this weekend’s public stoning of a woman accused of adultery.

Via The Onion


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6 Comments
Tucci78
Tucci78
January 15, 2016 12:30 pm

Tsk. It all comes down to proper mechanics. Ask any MLB hitting coach.

Unfortunately, two weeks into December there was a mass execution during which three-quarters of Saudi Arabia’s physical therapy technicians were decapitated, so until more can be imported from the Philippines, Khalid’s just plain out of luck.

robert h siddell jr
robert h siddell jr
January 15, 2016 12:39 pm

So many Infidel heads, so little time.

Bostonbob
Bostonbob
January 15, 2016 1:27 pm

You would think a thing like this could be automated. I’d ask the Germans their good at those things.
Bob.

Anonymous
Anonymous
January 15, 2016 2:20 pm

Every line of work has it’s own unique work injury hazards.

Peaceout
Peaceout
January 15, 2016 2:29 pm

Do they have workman’s compensation in Saudi Arabia? Looks like a clear cut claim to me.

harry p.
harry p.
January 15, 2016 3:22 pm

If only they had Obamacare…