In Da Year of our Lawd, 2017, what is known on TBP as an “epic shit fest” occurred between a long-time, honorable, intelligent poster (these types are also known as a ‘Big Dog’, of which few qualify) by the name of Llpoh — and that of a female person of recent unknown origin or capabilities, aka as a “Newbie”, by the name of Vixen Vic. The ensuing war of words caused Vixen Vic to huff and puff, after which she announced that her participation on this forum should no longer be expected. She left.
This addendum to The Official TBP Handbook is being written and shared with you Newbie curs (a term of endearment) in hopes that you also won’t be so quick to leave as Vixen Vic did, for she had great potential. (Rumor has it that she’s returning, but that’s beside the point)
In other words, in summary, TBP is a truly rough and tough place at times (and full of LOVE other times) and YOU gotta be just as rough and tough to survive. Trial by fire, baby.
In other words …. this guide is for all you innumerable goddamned fucken snowflakes out there.
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#1: There is virtually no censorship on this blog. 99% of posts stay up. Don’t EVER bitch about being censored, else we will descend upon your sorry ass like a swarm of locusts, chew you up, and spit you out.
#2. One time a person named DP, aka David Pierre, a Canadian asshole, continued his dickish ways until Admin had no choice but to ban his trolling ass back to the upper Yukon. There be demons there. So, don’t be a dick.
#3. We do NOT allow the posting of fully exposed NIPPLES!! Seriously. You can post those “wet t-shirt” pics where you can obviously see the nip – a glorious brown protuberance — or bouncing titties with 50% of the nip covered. But, never a full open nip. This is known as the “SSS”-rule, he was a Big Dog who banned himself in the Great Desert because of a Troll. If you ever post a vagina – even though we all think about Da Vag day and night – you WILL be banned permanently, no warnings given.
4: As you can see, CURSING takes place here. Some folk never curse. Some fucken curse a lot. Like, me. If you don’t like “potty” language, take a fucken hike right now!! No one gives a shit a about your sensibilities. No one gives a rats ass about your moralizing. Fuck off.
#5. NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR FEEWINGS! Seriously, if you came here hoping to have your sorry ass validated, you’ve come to the wrong place, Amigo. No one is gonna be nice to you simply because you’re new here. You better have something real to say … real smart, and backed by facts. We do not tolerate idiots. Bullshitters are called out immediately and squashed like an ant.
#6. This is real important — 99.99% of the time, no one gives a shit if you decide to leave. Don’t tell us about internet decorum, losing readership blah blah blah blah. It will fall on deaf ears. You will get a chorus of “don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out”.
#7. Accusing us of — Ad hominem attacks!!! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. We know what it means, so don’t try to impress us. And we know about confirmation bias. Straw Dogs. Red Herrings. Begging the question. Circular reasoning. Homunculus fallacy. Small dick syndrome. And every other fallacy, some even you don’t know about. (We’ll use those against you.) Here’s the deal. We’ve been arguing about some of this shit here, like, forever. We heard it all. We know it all. We do NOT feel obligated to rehash every fucking reason for our beliefs just for you snowflake punks. You shoulda been here from the beginning.
So, the bottom line is, for example, that if you come here spouting your ‘global warming is caused by humans’ bullshit, we are going to ream you 10 new assholes to breath out of.
#8: Religion is often one of the most hotly, and lengthy, contested subjects. Someone keeps posting religious threads. We have non-religious folk here, and religious. All the non-religious regyoulahs here are awesome. The religious folk fall into two categories; good people and bad people. Traits of good religious people should be self-evident, and they also are awesome. Bad religious people are people who; 1) are constantly in your face with bible verses, often for no reason at all 2) close with “Blessings” after every post, 3) will condemn you to hell and torment and flames and Justin Bieber videos for eternity, and will 4) go fucken bat shit crazy if you disagree even slightly with their version of their truth. The worst ones have all the above traits, while being dumb as a fucken box of doorknobs … like a feller here named AWB, may he rot in hell. Do NOT be another AWB.
#9: Fight fire with fire!!! If someone tells you to go fuck yourself … you go tell them to go suck diseased-donkey-dick. Turning the other cheek is for pussies, and never works here. Give as good as you get! Eventually, this will earn you respect from both regyoulahs and Big Dogs alike.
#10: TBD. I’m looking for input from the Big Dogs and regyoulahs here on TBP for rule number 10. I, Stucky the Magnificent, will even name the rule after YOU … an honor only previously given to SSS.
Let’s go!
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If you little Newbie shits learn to accept this, all will be fine. It takes very little effort to move from Newbie status to regyoulah status. Not so long ago we had a fine lady from England (she’d prefer to have her name remain anonymous) who was pretty much accepted here after her FIRST post!! Such greatness is rare, but it does happen. But, it doesn’t happen to snowflakes, pussies, crybabies, and other various sundry bitches this current culture produces. Don’t be one of THEM. Good luck, Newbie.
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Dennis this holier than thou attitude of yours is gettin’ old. Here is an idea. Quit this piss and moan about the good ol days and, I don’t know, write something interesting for a change.
Well I did say “all doom and no fun will give you cancer of the hoo-haa.” Looks like most of you will prolly avoid that horrid condition. Make sure, however, that you do “Drop in to see what condition your condition is in.”
I recall now why I liked Mary ‘Our Lady of the Boob’ Christine; no tease, no sleaze.
yipper,
you’re back–i haven’t seen you posting recently and thought you might have gone to old dogs home down in hollywood–
i’m glad you survived–
EL Cibernetico was covering for me.
i wondered if you were one and the same,maybe the game wardens put a tracking collar on you–
You can tell because no other chit-for-brains writes like me, I have a ‘special’ syntax as Stucky said. Heck, he said he couldn’t even dopple me because of that genetic ability. We’re hard-wired for moran.
How have you been over in Irmaville? Did you see that the power company in PR is kaput? And Mexico City ain’t doing much better. Soon we will be bombing Venezuela.
This is not a good year for Hispanics.
That song rocked AM radio. The counterculture of the 1960s. Cooler than hell. I sure had a lot of fun.
#10 Beware of doppelgangers.
As a lurker I just have to say I actually spend more time reading comments from all of you!
Stucky!!! Marion! HSF! LlPoh, RiNs, Zarth……too many here to mention.
I have no hope for any change – but you all get me through the week when I have time to visit!
Now, apologies but my grindstone is urgently calling….