VATICAN CITY—The Pope has apologized for the Catholic Church’s past acitivites burning heretics at the stake centuries ago, admitting that the practice was a carbon-emission-heavy activity that did not reflect good stewardship of the earth.
“It’s clear now that the Catholic Church made missteps centuries ago, by not finding a carbon-neutral way to dispose of heretics,” he said in a special address. “I am filled with regret when I think of the large carbon footprint left behind by the Reformers and other heretics previous Popes tortured and incinerated.”
The Pope confirmed that going forward, the Catholic Church will be purchasing carbon credits to offset the footprint of any heretics they decide to burn at the stake, as well as any documents they decide to torch before investigators get too close.
Are you kidding me?
Yes. Babylon Bee is a satire site.
Where the fuck is Mehmet Ali Agca when you need him?
(He shot JPII in 1981.)
I thought he would apologize for the emissions from those smoke-pots they wave around during mass……..or are those to create a smoke-screen for the priests to play behind (no pun intended)
They probably didn’t use free-range, organically-grown stakes either.
When you think about, the carbon credit trading scam feels a lot like the historical Catholic Church scam of selling indulgences.
Have the Catholics apologized for Murdering about 20 million Christians in Cold Blood, or the Russian Judeo-Communist? Or the Turkish Muslims for murdering 2 million Armenian Christians? No, so don’t let some government Do Gooders take your guns without a fight and do it to you!
But he said that over the past several decades, priests, bishops, and cardinals have done their part to counter these impacts by never using any petroleum based lubricants while raping and molesting alter boys and girls under their charge.
Fucking pedophile/pedophile enabling twit,he needs to just shut the fuck up and die.
anti-Christ twit…
The false prophet at least…
Now if the pope would apologize for the carbon footprint left by the clergy in the “smoking” of so many young boys he’d be making some real progress in cleaning up the world.