#unfuckenreal. NOT an Onion story!!
“Earlier this week, Tesla filed an application with the US Patent and Trademark Office to trademark the name for a “distilled agave liquor” and “distilled blue agave liquor,” —- here.
Also in today’s NY Post — Tesla is on a blitz trying to get people to order their cars by this Monday …. because that is the last day of the $7,500 credit.
Elon said that all new orders will be delivered by the END OF THE YEAR. And he really really means it. Yes, you WILL get your car in just a few months. Not kidding. Pinky swear!! Trust me … you KNOW you an trust me! I’ve never lied to you before, said Elon. If I don’t deliver your car by Christmas, I will kill starfcker, he said.
Hard to understand why anyone would buy a Tesla ( or a Subaru). The former’s resale value is unknown and few people who buy $50,000 and up motor vehicles keep them forever. Driving an old Mercedes or Lexus is declasse.
Subaru doesn’t even bother to tell you why you should buy one. Its ads might as well be old clips from the TV show ‘Lassie’. In fact they now have an ad with dogs driving their cars to appeal to barren middle aged women or a blind hippie taking people to ‘listen’ to whales! WTF does that have to do with the merits of your automobile?
At least a Subaru is a real car!! LOL!!
It used to be sex sells, now DOG sells.
My son and I changed the head gaskets on a Subaru Forester with 240,000 miles. They are really easy to work on and very well built.
My son currently drives a Legacy Outback with 320,000 miles on it. He’s taken it off-roading with no problems.
Don’t knock the Subies til you try one.
You must be the guy driving the old beat up subaru in front of me doing 42 in a 55 zone. Buy a new car that you arent afraid is falling apart and drive the damn speed limit.
AWD + modest price. They basically issue them at the borders of NH/VT/ME. Great on dirt roads and in snow.
Had a guy tell me he just blasted his Subaru down the driveway through a couple feet of snow when his Ford truck/plow had gotten stuck.
Gotta say in defense of ‘ol Suzie there in my garage, you just about can’t beat a Prius Plug-In. And I’ve owned dozens of cars and SUVs over the years from BMWs to Jags, Corvettes, Volvo, Infiniti, Studebaker, and Toyota. Plus a couple of Oldsmobiles, Chevy’s & Fords.
Unless I needed a truck, I’d probably not buy anything else. This is after about 3 years and 20,000 miles on a used 2012. Still goes 9.5 miles total EV on a charge and when driving w/o the plug-in miles, I can get 60-80 mpg. Sure comes in handy when gas is approaching $4!
9.5 miles on electric? Is that a joke? No sarc? And thats a good thing?
But, does the Teslaquila have a worm?
Doubtful, but you probably have worms in your brain if you buy one. LOL!!!
It’s named after a worm.
Musk is the worm, not Tesla. He was a genius who was murdered by the FBI.
I just read that Tesla has outsold Mercedes Benz.
Alas poor Starfcker, we knew him well. A victim of the “pinky swear” NONdelivery.
Farewell Star.
I think what’s going on is while car sales are dropping, Tesla is maintaining and looking good in the decline. Subaru is said to be the only Japanese car that has never had a recall. It may not be the car with the best MPG but look at all the old-timers buying them. The seven sisters is the bomb, I-S will be out gazing at then next month!
They should have had a recall. But didn’t. Massive issue with head gaskets, went on and on for well over a decade, I recall, before they fixed it.
Porsche and Jaguar are supposed to make money on their sales. Now imagine what would happen if I went to a Jaguar dealer and asked for a $40,000 econo Jag and was told only the $100,000 Jag was available and it would be months before I could take delivery. No ‘real’ car company could get away with what Musk is doing,
“No ‘real’ car company could get away with what Musk is doing.” Excellent point. Because there is no demand for their product. OUCH
‘Teslaquila’ should be very popular with terrorists.
It makes the best Molitov Coctails.
It bursts into flames without having to light it…
You do have to drive it around for a while before it goes off however.
VW is producing a new whiskey, it’s call VWhiskey. You still get intoxicated, but the breath and blood tests read much lower than they actually are. If you’re caught cheating they make you sit in a large parking lot for a couple years then they send you to Canada.
$35 a bottle, but it comes with a $10 federal rebate.
you guys lay off star–
they’ve mowed the tesla non dealership here & i could see a bunch of cars parked in the back–
maybe they’ll have it open by the time they file bk–
Distillation is always the true sign a company is a turd ready to be flushed down the sewer pipe of history.