Stay out of Uncola’s mother in-law’s shed little buddy…..
nkit
November 16, 2018 4:25 pm
nkit
November 16, 2018 4:26 pm
nkit
November 16, 2018 4:28 pm
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nkit
November 16, 2018 4:30 pm
nkit
November 16, 2018 4:30 pm
nkit
November 16, 2018 4:30 pm
Lgr
November 16, 2018 4:51 pm
The Wedding Ceremony…
The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up.
She starts walking slowly towards the minister.
The congregation was aghast; you could almost hear a pin drop.
The groom’s jaw dropped as he stared in at the approaching young woman and child.
Chaos ensued.
The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom’s mother fainted.
The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation.
The minister asked the woman, “Can you tell us, why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
There was absolute silence in the church.
The woman replied, “We can’t hear you in the back.”
And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent!
take-II
After the Honeymoon
One evening, after the honeymoon, Tom was working on his motorcycle in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should also consider selling your Harley and all your welding equipment along with your gun collection, your fishing gear, the boat and all those stupid model airplanes, plus dump that vintage hot rod sports car and your home brewing equipment.”
Tom got a horrified look on his face.
She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “For a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife!”
“Ex-wife!?” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Thanks fellows . I always look forward to Fridays ! For some reason the good laughs bring on joy.
nkit
November 16, 2018 6:25 pm
Unexpected
November 16, 2018 6:28 pm
1.) Lays chips comparison: Shrinkflation pisses me off enough already, but then, lying about it is just more salt in the wound. Assholes.
2.) A great lesson by the hockey player in white: The right choice at an advantageously strategic spot and time will most efficiently maximize forces in motion against an opponent.
3.) So the guy at the gas station pulls out the nozzle to save his truck and sets his wife on fire? The wrong choice at a disadvantageously unstrategic spot and time will most efficiently maximize forces in motion against marital harmoniousness.
The calendar cracked me up. I knew a guy who used to play jokes on his friend, one time he took the guy to a Chinese restaurant that was right next door to a pet shop. He told the guy they cook dogs and cats, and if he listened real hard he could hear them in the kitchen. Totally freaked him out.
Iska Waran
November 16, 2018 7:49 pm
The guy on the swing is fat. He broke the swing. Because he’s fat. That’s funny.
KaD
November 16, 2018 8:29 pm
This makes me laugh.
Unfortunate
November 16, 2018 8:36 pm
OK. I have a joke for y’all. Except it’s not funny. This happened earlier today.
My kid is visiting friends in a large U.S. metropolis.
On the way back from the airport, the car my kid was in gets rear-ended in heavy traffic by a “migrant” who didn’t speak English. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
But wait. There’s more.
The dumb bastard hit another car first; so, in total, all three vehicles bit the dust today. Guess what? The other car that got hit was also a “migrant” who spoke limited English enough to converse with the first wrecking ball.
That’s what uninsured motorist insurance is for. Of course, I cut full coverage on my older vehicles, both over 10 years old. So, I’m self insuring on those because one is valued at $6K and the other at $1K. I made the insurance company some big bucks for a long time. Still giving them plenty on my newer 2011 vehicle.
Just keep blaming all your setbacks into the Caravan if it makes you happy. Funny how ‘illegal’ transmogrified into the new bogeyman ‘migrant’ just in time to link it with the Caravan.
Hey guys, a dog shit on my lawn again. Probably belongs to a ‘migrant’. The joke’s on us, folks. Not kidding.
Is it xenophobia if this shit is really happening? How the fuck are you gonna’ navigate insurance questions and exchange information on a busy six-lane with no english skills? Thanks Democrats. We rich American’s got this. No problem.
For the record, the wrecking ball was not Hispanic. Middle-eastern. No way the kid will be made whole with this deal. A kid trying hard with not a lot of extra cash to throw at this series of unfortunate events and for which wasn’t at fault. I would expect the insurance company to provide probably $1,500 less than the car is actually worth. Even though it had in excess of 100k miles, it would of went a few more years and another 100k miles easy, but the adjuster won’t see it that way. It’s not drivable and will surely be totaled. Now the kid is fooked. But at least at least the diversity is great. Have a fun weekend kids. And don’t forget to vote
nkit
November 16, 2018 11:04 pm
The hook behind the knee of the Calgary player was a sight to behold (unless you’re a flames fan). Loved it.. That said…
Loved that one, as well as the goal scorer trying to hug the D man on the other team, who gets a shot to the chops for that blunder.
GTF outta here!
Have a good weekend, nkit.
Vixen, was it something I said?
nkit
November 16, 2018 11:57 pm
Vixen Vic
November 17, 2018 3:22 am
Nothing beats Friday Fail. Thanks Admin and Nkit. Love the animals.
“Right turn Clyde”
Boy, Obama’s hair is getting more gray.
I don’t get it.
It’s one of nkit’s most intellectual posts and recalls “In Time” – Justin Timberlake’s crappy re-imagining of Logan’s Run.
Stay out of Uncola’s mother in-law’s shed little buddy…..
The Wedding Ceremony…
The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up.
She starts walking slowly towards the minister.
The congregation was aghast; you could almost hear a pin drop.
The groom’s jaw dropped as he stared in at the approaching young woman and child.
Chaos ensued.
The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom’s mother fainted.
The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation.
The minister asked the woman, “Can you tell us, why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
There was absolute silence in the church.
The woman replied, “We can’t hear you in the back.”
And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent!
take-II
After the Honeymoon
One evening, after the honeymoon, Tom was working on his motorcycle in the garage. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending so much of your time out here in your garage. You probably should also consider selling your Harley and all your welding equipment along with your gun collection, your fishing gear, the boat and all those stupid model airplanes, plus dump that vintage hot rod sports car and your home brewing equipment.”
Tom got a horrified look on his face.
She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “For a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife!”
“Ex-wife!?” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Tom replied, “I wasn’t.”
Thanks fellows . I always look forward to Fridays ! For some reason the good laughs bring on joy.
1.) Lays chips comparison: Shrinkflation pisses me off enough already, but then, lying about it is just more salt in the wound. Assholes.
2.) A great lesson by the hockey player in white: The right choice at an advantageously strategic spot and time will most efficiently maximize forces in motion against an opponent.
3.) So the guy at the gas station pulls out the nozzle to save his truck and sets his wife on fire? The wrong choice at a disadvantageously unstrategic spot and time will most efficiently maximize forces in motion against marital harmoniousness.
If it was the wife, that puts the entire event into a different perspective. I thought it was just an accident.
It’s crazy to me that they’ll stop someone with a turtle from getting on a plane, but call your pit bull an emotional support dog and get right through. https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/06/08/man-bitten-in-the-face-by-passengers-emotional-support-dog/22133232/
The calendar cracked me up. I knew a guy who used to play jokes on his friend, one time he took the guy to a Chinese restaurant that was right next door to a pet shop. He told the guy they cook dogs and cats, and if he listened real hard he could hear them in the kitchen. Totally freaked him out.
The guy on the swing is fat. He broke the swing. Because he’s fat. That’s funny.
This makes me laugh.
OK. I have a joke for y’all. Except it’s not funny. This happened earlier today.
My kid is visiting friends in a large U.S. metropolis.
On the way back from the airport, the car my kid was in gets rear-ended in heavy traffic by a “migrant” who didn’t speak English. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
But wait. There’s more.
The dumb bastard hit another car first; so, in total, all three vehicles bit the dust today. Guess what? The other car that got hit was also a “migrant” who spoke limited English enough to converse with the first wrecking ball.
The joke’s on us folks. Not kidding.
That’s what uninsured motorist insurance is for. Of course, I cut full coverage on my older vehicles, both over 10 years old. So, I’m self insuring on those because one is valued at $6K and the other at $1K. I made the insurance company some big bucks for a long time. Still giving them plenty on my newer 2011 vehicle.
Just keep blaming all your setbacks into the Caravan if it makes you happy. Funny how ‘illegal’ transmogrified into the new bogeyman ‘migrant’ just in time to link it with the Caravan.
Hey guys, a dog shit on my lawn again. Probably belongs to a ‘migrant’. The joke’s on us, folks. Not kidding.
Is it xenophobia if this shit is really happening? How the fuck are you gonna’ navigate insurance questions and exchange information on a busy six-lane with no english skills? Thanks Democrats. We rich American’s got this. No problem.
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You capture Unfortunate’s dilemma quite well, Groggy. Sorry about the accident Unfortunate, I hope you were not injured.
For the record, the wrecking ball was not Hispanic. Middle-eastern. No way the kid will be made whole with this deal. A kid trying hard with not a lot of extra cash to throw at this series of unfortunate events and for which wasn’t at fault. I would expect the insurance company to provide probably $1,500 less than the car is actually worth. Even though it had in excess of 100k miles, it would of went a few more years and another 100k miles easy, but the adjuster won’t see it that way. It’s not drivable and will surely be totaled. Now the kid is fooked. But at least at least the diversity is great. Have a fun weekend kids. And don’t forget to vote
The hook behind the knee of the Calgary player was a sight to behold (unless you’re a flames fan). Loved it.. That said…
Loved that one, as well as the goal scorer trying to hug the D man on the other team, who gets a shot to the chops for that blunder.
GTF outta here!
Have a good weekend, nkit.
Vixen, was it something I said?
Nothing beats Friday Fail. Thanks Admin and Nkit. Love the animals.