ATLANTA, GA—While Empire actor Jussie Smollett has been having a tough week so far, there appears to be a silver lining: cable news channel CNN has offered Smollett a job as an investigative reporter and on-air anchor after witnessing his skills at fabricating a story entirely out of thin air.
CNN producers were reportedly impressed throughout the ongoing saga of Smollett’s apparent hoax attack on himself. They realized early on the facts didn’t add up but were fascinated with how well the actor kept the narrative going. An HR rep quickly reached out to Smollett to see if he’d be interested in taking on a position at the news organization after news broke that the entire thing was probably fabricated.
“Smollett has exactly the kind of skills we look for at our fine organization,” said CNN correspondent Brian Stelter. “He picked a narrative, made up all the relevant facts and details, and stuck with his story in spite of glaring holes in the plot. It’s hard to find people who understand our core values here at CNN, but Smollett seems to be just the guy for us.”
The actor has accepted the offer and is now undergoing training to learn how to weave even more intricate narratives ex nihilo, according to insiders.
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isn’t that special….now CCN can actually add a drama queen to their FAKE news story’s to help keep ignorant channel watchers who require scratch and sniff books and TV down on the farm….
Which restroom will he be allowed to use?
Same as Don Lemon.
Jussie Smollett should be prosecuted for lynching.
He did the crime, he should do,the time.
Black on black crime is out of control.
Actually, black on white crime is out of control too.
Which is more important to the fate of the Earth?
https://www.bestgore.com/bloody-injuries/man-stab-head-robber-south-africa-escape/
Rather than being a Media whore, which he already is, I think he has an even bigger future with the Democrat Party. Consider please – a lying Negro Homosexual Jew – he’s got all them bases covered. All he needs is a wheelchair (he can fake being a paraplegic) and even the most hard-core House District in Illinois will open their arms and have them be Our Perfect Representative (TM).
If none of that works out for the “boy” he can shuffle on down to the DMV and get a “V” stamped on his government ID since he now is a Victim.
CNN – The Clintoon Network, hiring only the best nutjobs who hate the Right
That is funny! I hope this guy ends up in a cell somewhere for what he did. At my work, I told people that it was an obvious work of fiction when it happened and people all believe this obvious bullshit.
Technically, you should add (sic) at the end. HOW would anyone think this satire without it?
Jussie has been offered the job as editor of “Rump Rider ” magazine .
OMG flipping great post. HILARIOUS! And scary, too, since even though you are being sarcastic, what you say is probably more true that we care to believe. The left loves liars who can keep the lies going. Smollett is the face of Trump Derangement Syndrome.