Nine Reasons Why You Should Support Joe Biden For President

Authored by Caitlin Johnstone via Medium.com,

Former Vice President Joe Biden has released a video statement telling the American people that the accusations he is now facing of touching women in inappropriate ways without their consent is the product of changing “social norms”, assuring everyone that he will indeed be adjusting to those changes.

And thank goodness. For a minute there, I was worried Biden might cave under the pressure of a looming scandal and decline to run for president on the grounds that it could cripple his campaign and leave America facing another four years of Donald Trump. Here are nine good reasons why I hope Joe Biden runs for president, and why you should support him too:

1. It’s his turn.

It’s Biden’s turn to be president. He’s spent years playing second fiddle while other leading Democrats hogged all the limelight, and that’s not fair. He’s been waiting very patiently. Come on.

2. Most Qualified Candidate Ever.

If Joe Biden secures the Democratic Party nomination for president, he would be the Most Qualified Candidate Ever to run for office. His service as a US Senator and a Vice President has given him unparalleled experience priming him for the most powerful elected office in the world. Everything Biden has done throughout his entire career proves that he’d make a great Commander-in-Chief.

3. He’s closely associated with a popular Democratic president.

You think Biden, you think Obama. You think Obama, you think greatness. You can’t spend that much time with a great Democratic president without absorbing his greatness yourself. It’s called osmosis.

4. You liked Obama, didn’t you?

Biden was part of the Obama administration. Remember the Obama administration? It was magical, right? If you want more of that, vote Biden.

5. But Trump!

Do you want Trump to win the next election? You know he’ll shatter all our norms and literally end the world if he does, right? You should be terrified of the possibility of Trump winning in 2020, and if you are, you should want him running against Joe Biden. What’s the alternative? Nominating some crazy unelectable socialist like Bernie Sanders? Might as well just hand Trump the victory now, then. Anyone who wants to beat Trump must fall in line behind the Most Qualified Candidate Ever.

6. Iraq wasn’t so bad.

Okay, maybe some of his past foreign policy positions look bad in hindsight, but come on. Pushing for the Iraq war was what everyone was doing back in those days. It was all the rage. We all made it through, right? I mean, most of us?

7. This is happening whether you like it or not.

We’re doing this. We’re going to push Joe Biden through whether you like it or not, and we can do it the easy way or the hard way. Just relax, take deep breaths, and think about a nice place far away from here. Don’t struggle. This will be over before you know it. We’ll use plenty of lube.

8. Just vote for him.

Just vote for him, you insolent little shits. Who the fuck do you think you are, anyway? You think you’re entitled to a bunch of ponies and unicorns like healthcare and drinkable water? You only think that because you’re a bunch of racist, sexist homophobes. You will vote for who we tell you to or we’ll spend the next four years calling you all Russian agents and screaming about Susan Sarandon.

9. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Honestly, what could possibly go wrong? It’s not like the Most Qualified Candidate Ever could manage to lose an election to some oafish reality TV star. Hell, Biden could beat Trump in his sleep. He could even skip campaigning in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania and still win by a landslide, because those states are in the bag. There’s no way he could fail, barring some unprecedented and completely unforeseeable freak occurrences from way out of left field that nobody could possibly have anticipated.

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20 Comments
Craven Warrior
Craven Warrior
April 4, 2019 11:47 am

Those are sound reasons why we should hope Biden is the candidate. Now if we could only find someone to replace Trump.

455Kc IF
455Kc IF
  Craven Warrior
April 4, 2019 2:54 pm

Tom Cotton?

Chris Rice
Chris Rice
April 4, 2019 11:59 am

I want to see Trump voted out in 2020 but there is one person that I definitely will not vote for. I can not abide by Joe Biden. “Uncle Joe” may try to come across as some kind grandfatherly figure but the truth is that Joe Biden bears more responsibility for the drug war, mass incarceration, the militarization of the police, the erosion of our liberties, and the racial disparity in sentencing than any other person that is still alive. He didn’t just vote on bad laws, he wrote them and pushed them from his powerful position as chair of the Senate Judicial Committee. He coined the term “Drug Czar” and pushed to have it be a cabinet position. He criticized George Bush Sr, who was the president who is most associated with the drug war escalation, as not being tough enough on drugs in speeches on the Senate floor. He pushed property forfeiture. If you have been victimized by the drug war you can blame Joe Biden.

There are many articles on this and video of him pushing the drug war in speeches if you search “Joe Biden Drug War”. This is an article you should read: https://www.leafly.com/news/politics/joe-bidens-drug-war-record-is-so-much-worse-than-you-think

This is one of the videos you might watch:

Did I mention that Joe Biden is one of the only democrats that might be in the campaign that still thinks that marijuana should be illegal and that if you are one of the 50% of adult Americans that admit to having tried it and you got caught you should continue to have a criminal record that will be used as the basis for discrimination in housing, education, and employment for the rest of your life? That’s good old Uncle Joe!

If the party insiders push this man on us I will not be voting for him even if it means that we have four more years of Donald Trump. Don’t let him gain any traction because I am not alone in the fact that I will never vote for a anyone that thinks that marijuana is a crime and that people should be put into a permanent underclass by being saddled for life with a criminal record for the indiscretions of their youth that brought no harm to anyone. That is an oath I made many years ago and Joe Biden is one of the worst of the worst. When you are thinking about how he has name recognition so he would be a good candidate make sure you think of all the negatives attached to that name recognition. This will be a big weight around his neck.

Pequiste
Pequiste
April 4, 2019 12:04 pm

Sold me with #8.

BUCKHED
BUCKHED
April 4, 2019 12:13 pm

Rumor has it that Joe wants to hire Monica Lewinsky to do the “vacuuming” if he’s elected .

Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer
April 4, 2019 12:22 pm

He’s had his skull cap removed surgically, twice. Once inside the surgeons have cauterized parts of his brain and removed portions during the operations.

That these facts are not used to define him, as in “Joe Biden, brain surgery survivor and Democratic Presidential Candidate” tells you everything you need to know about the media, not Joe Biden. I’m not mad at him for all his inappropriate behavior because I think the surgeons removed the chunk that governs that kind of behavior. He probably sees a bright blue outline of the state of Montana every time he sneezes too.

In any sane world he would absolutely be disqualified from office based on that medical history. It makes zero sense and yet here we are, pretending he hasn’t had people’s fingers all up in his gray matter.

DD
DD
  Hardscrabble Farmer
April 4, 2019 3:02 pm

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? I had brain surgery five times for adult onset hydrocephalus including two full shunt replacements and one externalized brain drain for cerebral spinal fluid for 29 days in an ICU where my husband says he visited me every single day for a month in May 2005 but really how the hell would I know and I would not have blamed him if he and my son skipped a day because some days it probably wasn’t worth the trip to the hospital. But I know him. He did not skip a day.

I’m dismayed Biden gets a pass for obviously inappropriate behavior when it is rather obvious there are days he is just off his meds, like some of us.

Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer
  DD
April 4, 2019 3:43 pm

There is a novel in you, I can feel it.

EL Cogito Ergo Sum
EL Cogito Ergo Sum
  Hardscrabble Farmer
April 4, 2019 4:22 pm

Thomas Eagleton is rolling in his grave.

Old Shoe
Old Shoe
April 4, 2019 12:34 pm

If he wins there should be something in it for me. I’m the one that taught Joe how to glue little mirrors to the top of his shoes for upskirts.

AC
AC
April 4, 2019 12:43 pm

How much free money is Biden promising per month via UBI?

If Biden is offering more than $2000/mo in UBI, he might have a shot. Otherwise, it’s Chairman ‘$1000’ Yang or the other Dem UBI guy (offering $2000/month).

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  AC
April 4, 2019 4:02 pm

At least you have a very specific criterion. That’s probably how I should choose, too.

DD
DD
April 4, 2019 2:01 pm

Don’t forget the powerful people in charge just might pull off the hat trick. What if Hillary was so determined to get her way she agreed to run as his Vice-President to show her support for his grandfatherly faux pas’s or fox paws, as some of the pawed-upon might say.

When that Boeing manager called my black co-editor a little monkey he tried to say it was a term of affection he used for all young girls and ladies. Bullshit. I’d known the “Chief” for 20 years and he’d not called me a little monkey one time. He didn’t have the political clout to avoid a fine, but he probably works there still. Boeing was good at covering their managers’ snafus of all kinds. A little political clout goes a long way in government contract work. If I hadn’t been willing to call him to account for saying it, the man would probably still call black people little monkeys to their faces if he thought they were young enough. The old coot was from Alabama and got promoted to Chief Master Sergeant at a time when being gruff was a promote able quality. He called her a Little Monkey because she was a cute young black woman. I don’t think he really meant to be discriminatory or put her down. He was just a dumb old coot from Alabama that joined the USAF at a good time and ended up staying a career and seeing the world. Then Boeing hired him to rubber stamp the Quality Assurance paperwork because everyone loved the Chief and who was going to questions his stamp of approval?

No One would get in trouble for that later but the black editor did get a public apology for his saying it out loud in the office and shocking those who actually read the company policy manual and understood office etiquette.

He should have known better. You cannot be in a position of authority like the Chief or Biden were in and NOT KNOW that behavior is inappropriate. There was an element of dominance in both men’s behaviors, I think. The Chief had never called me a Little Monkey because I am not black. He called Neika black to let everyone in the place know he could get away with it as the gruff old chief he tried to portray. I marched to the head Boeing asshole in charge and demanded he call the doddering old fool on the carpet.

He knew he should NOT say it to her. He did it anyway because he thought it was funny at her expense not realizing it put all of us in a terribly awkward position. I did what any good union steward would do: Confront the head Boeing manager on equal footing.

Funny word: equal. Saying it doesn’t make it so. I got suspended.

The Chief got fined. Neika got apologized to. I ended up on a two week vacation they paid me for after I filed charges and won my case. However, Boeing taught everyone a valuable lesson: Don’t rock the gravy train for some fair labor standard principle or you will be suspended for insubordination. Equal my ass. He suspended me for not showing him proper respect as a former full-bird colonel and I knew it, lowly enlisted gal that I once was. It is everywhere.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  DD
April 4, 2019 2:27 pm

Blacks ARE monkeys, DA. And nobody cares about your gay virtue signaling.

Grog
Grog
April 4, 2019 2:08 pm

#10 He was voted for the most competent man of the US Senate to watch over your wife and daughter while you happen to be out of town for a week’s seminar.

Donkey Balls
Donkey Balls
April 4, 2019 2:19 pm

There’s only 2 reasons he should run…so I can see political commercials showing him act creepy nonstop. The other is because Trump is pretty funny. He will have a field day with Mr. Creepy.

Platoplubius
Platoplubius
April 4, 2019 3:25 pm

Oprah or Ellen 2020

Taras 77
Taras 77
April 4, 2019 4:14 pm

A couple of items the MSM is staying miles away from are biden’s ukraine connections and his china deals:

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/04/03/exclusive-peter-schweizer-joe-biden-steered-1-8-billion-to-ukraine-while-his-son-bagged-sweetheart-deal-from-their-government/

I don’t want to be too hard on biden, after all, hair sniffing and groping used to be ok back in the day??

yahsure
yahsure
April 4, 2019 9:30 pm

I prefer to put off total socialism as long as possible. Democrats suck. I listen to Ron Paul on Youtube and see what we needed.

dead reckoning
dead reckoning
April 5, 2019 10:23 am

vote for the one that will crash the whole thing the soonest, we’re tired of waiting-