AMHERST, MA—Speaking to the graduating class of 2019 at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, Senator Elizabeth Warren proudly announced she would be sharply increasing their taxes in order to pay for their own student loans, which were inflated by government subsidies in the first place.
After an inspiring speech in which she encouraged students to let the government do everything for them instead of doing things themselves and to exploit any minority status they have, or even ones they don’t have, Warren unveiled her generous offer.
“I have a special treat for you today,” she said, winking. “Every student here will be heavily taxed, and then with that money, we’ll forgive your student loans!”
Crickets cheered after the announcement.
“You heard me right: total loan forgiveness in exchange for crippling taxes. What can I say except, ‘You’re welcome!'” she said proudly as confused students murmured to one another.
At publishing time, Warren had told all the students to look under their seats for a free, authentic Indian headdress she had purchased at the Dollar Tree.
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
This is too funny. Of course that’s what she will do if elected. The college edjewmacated wouldn’t even understand it, sadly.
Waiting for a much wittier commentor to come along.
Ban liberals.
Noob doesn’t even realize this is satire. How do you survive in this world with an IQ of 60?
So many people believe the government is the answer. Sad.
As crazy/cuckoo/screw loose/off the deep end/insane as E(ww)W looks, especially in her eyes, I am totally unable to understand how anyone would ever vote for her for anything. Which I guess speaks volumes about the evil nature and stupidity of the average liberal-communist-totalitarian.