DALLAS, TX—While gay conversion therapy has long been thought to be ineffective, there may be a promising new method for converting the gays.
Local gay man Landon Ellison was out protesting a Chick-fil-A in his city Wednesday morning when he got hungry. He looked around to make sure his fellow protestors weren’t watching before slipping into the restaurant and ordering a classic chicken sandwich.
“It’s probably terrible,” he sneered at the cashier, who only smiled and said it was her pleasure to have her place of work insulted. “I’ll bet it tastes like HATE!”
But when Ellison’s food was served 3 seconds later, something miraculous happened: he took a bite of the sandwich and suddenly found he was no longer attracted to men. The woman who served him the sandwich instantly appeared attractive to him. “How you doin’?” he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. She told him it was her pleasure to be hit on and walked away.
Ellison emerged from the restaurant in a daze, fell to his knees, and lifted his hands and eyes up to the heavens in praise and thanksgiving for the amazing transformation that had occurred in his life.
Sadly, he was turned back by a Whopper.
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Fags are gay
I thought this was gonna be about B-Rad. Sorry B-Rad, no miracle cure for you, your fucked.
We all thought this story was about you, La Chihuahua.
Were you turned by a whopper, Anon?
You’re…
You’re what? Were you about to call me an asshole?
Great riposte!
Aiming to please every customer an intuitive Chic-fil-A employee replaced the mayo on this gay man’s sandwich with something which casually appeared to be mayo but was definitely not.
One thing really showed queers for the disgusting deviants they are- I lived in Portland, Oregon for an interminably long, short time and one thing I heard numerous times was “anyone can be turned”. If those faggots insist on sucking cock, not my business. When they get about actively recruiting normal, heterosexuals for the sport of “turning them”, well that’s just fucking perverse. I didn’t hate them fuckers before that. I do now. There is nothing “live and let live” about homos. They’re either trying to fuck it up for everyone with their militant “gay rights” agendas, or they’re trying to fuck up peoples’ lives by getting them to engage in homosexual sex. Fuckwads.
There was a morning after cartoon where the dude wakes up to a horrible realization as he spots two pairs of men’s shoes under the bed.
Double entendre of the day.
A Whopper? I figured it was going to be the Dairy Queen that was going to make the intervention.
Very queer.