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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Click to visit the TBP Store for Great TBP Merchandise
I guess I was wrong. A white boy can beat his own grandmother at basketball.
White guys are their own worst enemies, why put down white kids, Bob?
It was an (apparently unsuccessful) attempt at humour.
Grandma does much better as a goalie.
Missed it by that much.
Starsky and Hutch Reunion
Penny for your thoughts…
My favourite part of a woman is her thighs.
That’s a gf, not a wife, Bob.
There you go with the kids again you perv.
So nice to see you back, Dee. Since you seem to enjoy Friday Fail like so many others won’t you please consider making a donation to the site. Thanks in advance… you know, so I can give you some more good stuff that you like..
Let’s have a poll:
Dee is a young SJW whose face evokes a grimace from men akin to biting into a lemon and who hates men because they’re attracted to the opposite of her (thumbs up)
Dee is a dried-out old hag whose face works well as an emetic and who hates men because they’re attracted to the opposite of her (thumbs down)
That might be a dopple, BP.
Someone is just messin’ w our gifmeister.
Find the camel(toe).
This one was easier to spot than Admins.
Wait.
Uh-oh, that didn’t come out right, and wasn’t very respectful.
I meant, well, that picture puzzle that was on another post, and,
aww, hell. Never mind.
Yeah, I went looking for the camel and never found it and now I’m not sure why….does it matter?
It’s ok , I’m too blind to find it, it’s probably a trick question courtesy of big pharma anyway.
Ohhh, you’re getting warm. You found the toe.
Smiling is contagious, I’m smiling now.
If you can’t find the camel, you are gonna get absentminders.
The new safe sex body condom.
The Braille version of find the Camel.
Ouch.
So where’s Bob P with ” My favorite part of a woman is …”
I was going to say my favourite part of a woman is her clitoral hood, but that would’ve been going too far, so I decided not to.
By my count, I see 3 wedgies in this gif.
Off camera, Pedro and his leaf blower are snickering uncontrollably.
They call me the breeze,
I keep blowing down the road.
Shades of Marilyn Monroe, the dude with the briefcase missed the whole thing.
Dude with briefcase thinking his life is so boring.
Julio- Yeah…the poor slob had the best seat on the 50 yard line and he’s wondering how he can sell two more burial plans before the end of the month.
If I had a body like that, for sure I’d wear that dress as a shirt.
Tell me the cameraman used a selfie stick or a zoom lens. If not, he maht be dead, Fred.
Damn sidewinder’s are aggressive.
Matador Trump nonchalantly deals with MSNBC bull.
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
I’ll save the day! Let me lick that off you.
Pretty sure the old lady will not be impressed with your way of hammering in a picture frame hook.
🙂 Karma.
This was the 1st guy to audition for the Geico cave man bit, after getting rejected.
Hillary kicking Bernie then along comes The Donald.
she can sit on my wood any day
My favourite part of a woman is her legs.
Could someone please start a GoFundMe account to get Bob P a hooker, he needs to get laid.
Very considerate of you, BL. I’ve always dreamed of a threesome (with two women, to preclude any wiseacre comments), and I’ve come so close so many times (within one woman), so can you please fund twenty-five-year-old, beautiful blonde twins? Thank you.
Bob P- Here is the 8:00 update for your hooker fund, so far the total is $22.50, we can get you two ladies from the hood with a really good tan and a full set of teeth between them for 10 minutes. Are you good with that or do you want to wait and see if the account balance will climb?
I’ll put in a nickel if either of them is itchy. (Que up Ted Nugent’s Cat scratch Fever)
Thanks, anon, but I have it on good authority (BL), that the only thing you get from a whore for a nickel is a kick in the balls. Check with BL for his thoughts on S&M; maybe he wants the nickel.
Do they have nice personalities?
I shit you not. In the mid 60s there were hookers that looked like this on 42nd Street in NYC.
Bob P. has a great sense of humor. That’s all the funding he needs.
Thank God it wasn’t a baby.
Especially cool being on the throttle hand side.
And just like that, Connor’s admiration for SJW’s and Antifa were dashed.
Hell hath no fury.
Training future feminazis and soy boys is the next phase of the communist takeover of America.
The real reason you should never hit a girl.
She’ll poke your eyes out……….
or chip a tooth
Heavenly bodies that point to the stars,
Typically found outside southern bars.
Points of attraction, for most interested men,
It’s time that this Yankee headed southbound again.
Thx, nkit.
You knowwwwwwhatIlike.
Chantilly lace, and a pretty face…
…a wiggle and a walk;
a giggle and a talk, makes the world go round.
There ain’t nothin’ in the world like a big eyed girl,
make me act so funny, make me spend my money,
make me feel real loose like a long necked goose.
Oh baby, that’s a what I like.
Does she use those for her pencil erasers? Lordy, imagine what would happen if you put an ice cube on one of those. Or is that where they insert the helium?
They are grease zerks. Just pump them up.
… or maybe I should have said “lube them up” instead.
WTF? Those things look aggressive. Bye.
Must be great air conditioning.
Three men, .22, Miles Mathis, and an Oath Keeper, were out riding in a car when it crashed into a tree.
Before anyone knew it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, with St. Peter and the Devil standing nearby!
“Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded with God fearing, Bible clinging, Gun toting Murk’ins, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don’t know or cannot answer, then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.”
.22 boldly stepped up, “OK, give me the most comprehensive report on every ‘real’ PSYOPS throughout history.”
With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. .22 read them all and with an *astonished look on his face concluded it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” With another snap of his finger .22 disappeared.
Miles Mathis then asked “Give me the truth about: The Dark Matter theory, The Shape of Space, and Curved Motion!”
With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. Mathis read everyone and knew he was wrong and it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” With another snap of his finger Mathis disappeared too.
The Oath Keeper then stepped forward and said confidently, “Bring me a chair father of all lies and deception!”
The Devil brought forward a chair. “Drill 7 holes on the seat.” The Devil did just that. The Oath Keeper then sat on the chair letting out a long, loud, foul fart. Standing up, he asked, “Which hole did my fart come out from?” The Devil inspected the seat carefully sniffing each hole, then smiling wickedly at the Oath Keeper and said, “The third hole from the right.” “Wrong,” said the Oath Keeper, “it’s from my asshole…you asshole!”
And the wise, fearless, Constitutionally loyal Oath Keeper went instantly to heaven meeting all his buddies.
https://tryingtoseereality.blogspot.com/2013/07/three-discrepancies-between-miles.html
*Mathis was in the PSYOPS report.
Old joke; forgive me if I butcher it.
Two cowboys were caught poaching deep in Comanche territory and brought before the Chief.
The Chief says “You have violated our tribe’s sacred ground and must choose your fate.” He motioned to the first cowboy and said “Death or Bengali?”
Puzzled, the cowboys looked at each other. Thinking anything must be better than death, the first cowboy said “Bengali?”
The Chief made a motion of his hand, and two dozen of the tribe’s strongest, meanest braves lined up and proceeded to beat, cut and sodomize the helpless cowboy for the better part of an hour. Bleeding from every orifice and torn to shreds, the braves tied the mutilated cowboy to his horse and sent him back toward town.
The Chief then motioned to the 2nd cowboy: “You now must choose: Death or Bengali?”
The 2nd cowboy having witnessed his partner’s brutal assault for the last hour didn’t have to think much about the decision.
“I reckon death will suit me just fine.”
After a moment of complete silence, the stoic Chief said “Very well, your sentence is Death…”
“By Bengali”
Am I the only one scrutinizing the shit out of #3?
Cheating Wife, Garage Sale, all must go like her.
or
Cheating Garage, all must go. Wife Sale, like her.
Everything for under a buck…and that’s why she’e going.
Two women are walking down the street when one stopped short and said, “Jane, isn’t that your husband across the street coming out of the flower shop with a dozen long stem roses?” Jane turned to Sally and said, “Damn, I’ll have keep my legs in the air for a solid week because of those flowers”.
Sally said, “Wouldn’t it be easier to use a vase?”
Two nuns are riding bicycles down an unfamiliar cobblestone road.
The lead one says: “I’ve never come this way before”
The trailer says: “It’s the cobblestones.”
HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE TBP FRIDAY FAIL MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and exactly what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call, we will be at your house tomorrow.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are an Atheist just hang up…you have no hope.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice in your head will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer or gives a shit.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969.
If you believe every event that has ever happened in history is a PSYOPS please press MM to reach Miles Mathis or call .22.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, driver’s license number, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully search the area for Gooks, trip wires, and stay low before continuing the call.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or during the beep. Or after the beep again. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to or be bothered with your BS unimportant call.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9… If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9… If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9… If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…
Thank you for calling THE TBP FRIDAY FAIL MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE if any of these prompts help you defiantly belong here.
Mark, that was great!!! Thank you, and all the other contributors to Friday Fail. There are now too many of you to name. Y’all make it great, and help to increase traffic to aid the site. It’s all about keeping the best free speech website alive and fighting. A special thanks to Mr. Quinn.
Thanks nkit…I tried to call the THE TBP FRIDAY FAIL MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE…about my PTSD…but we had gooks in the wire…and I had to hang up!
gooks in the wire?..You better di di , killer…they’re watching you…You might not make it outta here…
Thar’s a few ’round ‘ere that know.
The 3,4,5, & 6 are wore out, on me fone keypad.
All for fun, pending mood and commentary topic.
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
Can I stop now? Can I? Is the kitchen clean? Is the floor vacuumed?
Is the boat tied to the dock perfectly? Is the right lure on the correct
rod and reel combo with the right pound test? Did the dogs pee and poo
before they came in? Did I put enough hand sanitizer on after I touched
that door handle. Help me.
I:uvCO2,
My wife says I’m the opposite of obsessive-compulsive…I’m an impulse-slob…I couldn’t argue with her.
Larry’s Words of Wisdom
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’
22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
good stuff…thx
nkit. I want to apologize if I offended you if you thought I was in any way accusing you of being a you know what by pointing out some hotties looked, well, young. I did not use that term you described and did not imply it and did not even think it. My main motivation was to point out the perception aspect. As we know, perception is everything. And it could have been perceived that some were a bit young. I understand that they were not. I have good buddies with daughters in that age range and am sometimes in that mindset (when I’m not busting their balls). I appreciate your input to this site and also appreciate the hotties !! I apologize if I offended you in any way.
I was not offended at all, my friend. You have always been a regular poster that I have held in high regard, and still do. Life is too short,at least at my age, to hold grudges, and perception is just that. No hard feelings at all, I LuvCO2. Blessings…
the straw dog
https://apis.mail.yahoo.com/ws/v3/mailboxes/@.id==VjN-9QRYkn7-Ob_rvcE9sm8EEDXQhODUW4AQahHyWmGFJphBZLCuZQ3x36c6yQhJ_s2SBmBxuc2UTjmHlmQVvjcwMQ/messages/@.id==AMyqg01LHarpXYWF4grVcK3j8Ao/content/parts/@.id==2/thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=2
vets orders
httpds://apis.mail.yahoo.com/ws/v3/mailboxes/@.id==VjN-9QRYkn7-Ob_rvcE9sm8EEDXQhODUW4AQahHyWmGFJphBZLCuZQ3x36c6yQhJ_s2SBmBxuc2UTjmHlmQVvjcwMQ/messages/@.id==AMyqg01LHarpXYWF4grVcK3j8Ao/content/parts/@.id==3/thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=3
this is 4 you guys who are into the mgtow movement–
https://apis.mail.yahoo.com/ws/v3/mailboxes/@.id==VjN-9QRYkn7-Ob_rvcE9sm8EEDXQhODUW4AQahHyWmGFJphBZLCuZQ3x36c6yQhJ_s2SBmBxuc2UTjmHlmQVvjcwMQ/messages/@.id==AMyqg01LHarpXYWF4grVcK3j8Ao/content/parts/@.id==4/thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=4
My browser won’t render that, but just how do you get on without pussy? My hand just ain’t no substitute for the vajayjay.
You would only see it if you had Tampa’s yahoo email login and password and logged into their account.
T-red has his own stable of hotties at his trailer park, where he gets his pick on Friday nights when his Wifi and daughter are gone..all those rent checks……The lucky bastard…
Stop linking to images in your personal email, boomer. Save them to disk, go to magaimg.net or something like it, upload there, then copy that link.
I used to Love Friday’s because I could stay up late, drink and debauch all night. Now…I look forward to staying home, drinking tea and indulging in Friday Fails. I don’t know whether to hit you or kiss you.
Depends on which of the 57 genders you aspire to.
You must be thinking of Heinz.
Down on the bayou, why you never know what’cher doin’
Gonna ramble a bit here, cuz I was at a wedding tonight.
So, after a Glenfiddich and a couple glasses of Cabernet, bear with me.
(It’s not always a pint of suds. Come on, man. Variety’s the spice of life)
Friday Fails have morphed into an enhanced post with some notables.
1. People look forward to it. More people, and more prominent than before. Comment counts are up.
2. The commentary humor compliments the visuals well. Hat tip to Bob P. and Yancey + some others.
(apologies to those who weren’t called out by name)…carry on.
3. It’s a break from the gloom, for a bit o’ laughter, unusual visuals, and titillation.
4. By Sunday morning, it has run its course, and fades into the archives. But, before that,
5. Toward the end of the night Friday, nkit or some other contributor posts a music vid or two.
6. Early viewers miss the late comers, if they don’t check back in, but that’s ok, too.
7. It can’t be said often enough. Send Admin a few bucks if you appreciate the forum.
Every little bit helps. Maggie, Yo, and nKit encourage this often. Kudos.
And Miss T, I’d be remiss if I din’t give you a thumbs up for all of your contrib’s.
All that said, one of Uncola’s or Admin’s comments from long ago mentioned a platform comparison.
Here it is.
Cheers, frenz.
Where the vuck is Vixen Vic???