Bankrupted Hedge Fund Managers To Receive $600 Stimulus

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Hedge fund managers nearly bankrupted by Redditors are desperately trying to fight back, but it’s not looking good as the internet populist uprising continues.

Rich Wall Street investors getting squeezed by the GameStop buying frenzy are taking solace in the fact, though, that they’ll get a $600 stimulus check.

“I think it’s a lot of money, sure, we would have liked to get more, but $600 is significant,” said Nancy Pelosi in a press conference Thursday. “I’m happy we were able to accomplish at least that much for them. We would have gotten more, but Trump blocked it.”

Pelosi was then reminded that Trump is no longer the president, but she just said she’d “circle back” to that later.

The $600 stimulus is expected to help the destitute hedge fund managers make a small portion of one of their yacht payments or maybe help them get started on a down payment on the latest Bentley. The managers are saying the $600 is not enough and that they need at least another $2,000 to survive. The government may compromise and give them an additional $1,400 to make up a total of $2,000.

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7 Comments
Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer
January 28, 2021 7:35 pm
MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Hardscrabble Farmer
January 28, 2021 7:37 pm

Wouldn’t surprise me ONE BIT. And people think that this can end peacefully. LOL.

Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer
  MrLiberty
January 28, 2021 8:35 pm

To be fair his Treasury Secretary is Janet Yellen, and she was paid close to a million in speaking fees by Citadel, who coincidentally happens to be the guys who just bailed out Gabe Plotkin (CEO of Melvin Capital), so…

I’m just interested in seeing how they blame this on the hoi polloi and come up with another 20,000 bill stripping of us of our economic rights.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  Hardscrabble Farmer
January 28, 2021 7:51 pm

This will never be corroborated by any “respectable” news organizations – which is, itself, proof that it’s true.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
January 28, 2021 7:37 pm

The past couple of days in a nutshell. The lines at the end from Eddie sum it all up perfectly.

overthecliff
overthecliff
January 28, 2021 8:30 pm

Nothing I would like to see more than the Billionaire Boys Club being taken to the cleaners. Retail traders don’t have the resources to bring down the machine. It will not end well for them.

Two if by sea. Three if from within thee.
Two if by sea. Three if from within thee.
  overthecliff
January 28, 2021 8:35 pm

It’s fun to watch, tho.