Biden: ‘We Need Just 15 Booster Shots To Slow The Spread’

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Biden announced Wednesday that, starting in September, booster shots will be available for the vaccinated. His plan is that after eight months of getting vaccinated, everyone will get a booster. And then eight months after that, another. And so on. As part of this, Biden unveiled the new slogan: “15 Boosters to Stop the Spread.”

“It’s time to end this pandemic,” Biden said, “and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel — a light that comes after just fifteen more jabs. But if everyone cooperates and gets a booster every eight months, we could have this pandemic over as soon as… well… 2031.”

Biden said that it is critical that everyone gets all fifteen booster shots and continues to mask and social distance until they have. And once that happens, the pandemic will be officially over. “We guarantee it this time,” Biden said with a wink. “I hope you enjoy a pandemic-free world because I’ll most likely be long, long dead by the time it happens.”

Biden did warn that this plan will take full cooperation because if some people don’t get vaccinated or don’t get all their boosters or don’t mask, fifteen boosters may not be enough. “We don’t want everyone to have to get a sixteenth booster shot,” Biden said. “That would be crazy.”

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13 Comments
Mista Shape Shifta
Mista Shape Shifta
August 19, 2021 4:14 pm

OK, you go first Joe.

BL
BL
August 19, 2021 4:32 pm

There is no “WE” in this Joe. A great many of the “we” are not getting the first shit shot much less 15. The media lies as to the hordes of nonparticipating. This may be The Bee joking but nothing surprises me any more.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  BL
August 19, 2021 7:43 pm

We dont get $1,500,000,000 deposited into a hedge fund that we manage 11 days after we meet with the Chinese military on an official trade mission in 2011. We dont get paid $80,000 per month to be on the board of directors of Burisma a Ukrainian gas and oil company.

But Hunter does.

AmazingAZ
AmazingAZ
August 19, 2021 4:38 pm

Bwahahaha! Love the Bee..

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
August 19, 2021 5:02 pm

It will be just like the annual flu shot that has questionable results. Every year, we seem to hear “We miscalculated which strains of the flu would be predominant this year.”

The good news is the WuHuFlu killed off the plain old flu and we had almost no flu deaths last year and very few cases.

Machinist
Machinist
August 19, 2021 5:30 pm

“I’ll most likely be long, long dead by the time it happens.”

He’s already dead. His brain just hasn’t caught up to that fact yet.

Tom MacGyver
Tom MacGyver
  Machinist
August 19, 2021 6:53 pm

No, his body hasn’t caught up with his BRAIN…

Cleveland
Cleveland
August 19, 2021 6:23 pm

Holy contradiction!

Every news outlet in the country and the CDC has been telling people that if they are vaccinated they can still get covid but it will be a much milder flu or cold like symptoms and wouldn’t require hospitalizations or lead to death like it would for the unvaccinated.

NOW THIS!
Texas hospitals may soon deny unvaccinated patients access to ICU beds

Hospitals in North Texas have “quietly developed” a plan to allow doctors to take vaccination status into account when deciding how to triage intensive-care beds if the coronavirus pandemic overwhelms ICUs, The Dallas Morning News reports.
https://www.dallasnews.com/news/watchdog/2021/08/19/if-north-texas-runs-out-of-icu-hospital-beds-doctors-can-consider-a-patients-vaccination-status/

Tom MacGyver
Tom MacGyver
  Cleveland
August 19, 2021 6:55 pm

THIS… is government-run healthcare… In the military, if you don’t take whatever jab you’re told to, you’re processed for discharge. In the civilian world, this is how you’re “processed for discharge…”

Joe Blow
Joe Blow
  Tom MacGyver
August 19, 2021 8:51 pm
ASIG
ASIG
  Cleveland
August 19, 2021 7:44 pm

That’s all right let them have the hospital bed just get yourself some Ivermectin, you’ll be much better off.

Tom MacGyver
Tom MacGyver
August 19, 2021 6:53 pm

Booster Shots… BS… ‘See how that translates?…

Ghost
Ghost
August 19, 2021 10:53 pm

We just need one really accurate shot to get this show on the road.