Chicago Reports 40 Tragic Bullet Accidents Over Weekend

Via The Babylon Bee

CHICAGO, IL—Thanksgiving weekend is a time of family gatherings and gratitude in the windy city. This weekend, however, the holiday was marred by 40 tragic bullet accidents. According to reports, five of the accidental bullet-to-body incidents were fatal.

“These unavoidable bullet accidents are just something we must learn to live with, here in the peaceful city of Chicago,” said Mayor Lori Lightfoot, “There is truly no one to blame for projectile-based injuries, other than the bullets themselves.”

The Chicago Department of Public Health will soon launch a public education campaign to teach citizens about how to stay safe when they find themselves near bullets traveling over 1000 feet per second.

The city’s police chief announced that 17 bullets have been taken into custody and await sentencing, while many still remain at large.

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5 Comments
KaD
KaD
November 30, 2021 5:38 pm

FBI Report Whitewashes ANTIFA Dayton, Ohio Shooter, Claiming Connor Betts Didn’t Belong to “Any Specific Ideological Group”

B_MC
B_MC
November 30, 2021 6:28 pm

I’m sure it’s a simple matter of mis-identification. Everybody knows those bullets all look alike…..

Reporter mistakes earplugs for rubber bullets, tweets pic

https://www.guns.com/news/2014/08/18/reporter-mistakes-earplugs-for-rubber-bullets-tweets-pic

Anonymous
Anonymous
November 30, 2021 7:51 pm

The joke is that guns don’t really kill people in Chicago, it’s just niggers.

overthecliff
overthecliff
November 30, 2021 9:15 pm

Common sense tells me that the most dangerous people in the USA are responsible. They are hunting and killing blacks in Chicago every weekend . The police are covering for the White Supremacists and should therefore be de-funded.

pyrrhuis
pyrrhuis
December 1, 2021 9:49 am

Have any of these white supremecist bullets been arrested?