LAKE JACKSON, TX—Libertarian demigod Ron Paul apologized to his supporters on Wednesday as he sealed himself up in an underground bunker to weather the collapse of the American dollar.
“I did the best I could,” said the former congressional representative. “Now please stand aside or the vault door will grind you to death in its massive gears.”
“Please, Mr. Paul! Don’t abandon us now!” implored a half-baked libertarian. “If you just help us get this petition signed—”
“Sorry, fella,’ no can do! Petitions play into a flawed system!” he said as he kicked the man back into a throng of fans. “I’ll remember you when it’s time to rebuild!”
The vault door sealed with a hiss as it pressurized itself against a failing economy. Directionless libertarians then wandered the grounds, unsure what to do with themselves.
The events of the day were recorded in a bevy of postings on the incredibly popular social media platform Parler.
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Blamers gotta blame.
As if Ron Paul alone could do shit.
Ron Paul opened a million eyes. He among a small few, should be off limits to the BEE. He has served the cause of liberty and exposing the criminals, more than nearly anyone.
Ron Paul brought me to TBP and lots of others.
Why should he be off limits?
And it’s a very positive satire, after all.
And gas prices weren’t that bad just 1 1/4 years ago!!
There was a local gas station that went out of business during the Obama administration when gas prices were through the roof. They had one of the old manual signs (not electronic). So someone finally came in and revamped the station, made it brand new, and all through the construction they left the old sign with the old prices. When it finally opened a month ago, the price of gas being charged by the new station was virtually identical to the ones shown on the old sign. Looks like the terrorists won.
In 1969, the Mobil station was $.309 for regular and we were the highest place in town. The no-name station across the street was $.289 and the Gulf was $.299, but we washed windshields, checked oil and tire pressure on every car that came through.
Yes… but minimum wage was only $1.30 and the average man earned about $3 an hour.
Anyone else find dollar bills accumulating in the house like pocket change used to?
Admin, I have a special suggestion for TBP’s Sunday Morning Class Act… don’t see Stevarino around here today…
Why not devote a day to national anthems… this one is Russia’s! It sounds easier to sing than ours.
Some really interesting music there, if you like dark music.
Edit: actually, I’m getting rather enthralled with Russian music and since I think we will be lucky to keep Alaska, perhaps he should devote a week to Russian music, like soon!
It seriously seems to lose something in the translation or perhaps Russians sing different too.
Did you hear that some bunch of douchebags cancelled a Tchaikovsky concert because “it just wasn’t a right time now.” What a load. Will they ban the 1812 Overture during the fireworks celebrations on the 4th of July??? Or will freedom be so dead by then it won’t matter?
She can grab my hose anytime she wants.
Hey, remember that time that the RNC banned Ron Paul supporters from the Republican National Convention in 2012?
Yeah, that was awesome…