The prophets have long whispered of the return of ULTRA-MAGA King Trump. In faith, we know that his return is inevitable and that he will soon reclaim the presidency and set right what has gone awry.
Here are the first 12 things Trump will do when he returns to power:
- Spray Febreze on the Oval Office curtains to get the old man smell out: Step one to draining the swamp is giving it a flowery scent.
- Make Pelosi wear a sweater on the beach: I mean, really.
- Welcome back Mike Pence, just to tell him he’s fired: It’ll be the highest ratings for a single episode of The Apprentice. Maybe ever.
- Invade Afghanistan so he can show how much better he would be at withdrawing from Afghanistan: He’s been dreaming about this one every night when he goes to sleep.
- Finish building that wall, but make Hunter Biden pay for it: Hunter will borrow from Joe, who will borrow from China. 4D chess!
- Make everything at the dollar store $1 again: And abolish the Fed.
- Sneak out of the Oval Office for a quick 9 holes: Trump needs to keep his golf skills sharp so he can challenge Putin to a match for the fate of Russia.
- Bring back the McRib: And make it permanent this time!
- Find Osama Bin Laden’s body and kill him again: USA! USA! USA!
- Declare total infinity immunity with no take-backs: Should put an end to congressional witch hunts.
- Put Dr. Fauci in the stocks in the National Mall so everyone can throw cabbage at him: Somewhere up there Samuel Adams is drunkenly smiling.
- Buy Greenland and make Mexico pay for it: And then drill for oil like there’s no tomorrow.
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Restore my IRA accounts with the cash Jobama inflation plundered to piss on me and rain cash on Ukraine
Don’t know about Your particulars, but take the shot. Get OUT of Your ira if at all possible.
Build the Wall? And he calls Musk a on artist?
13. Issue executive order mandating congress folk are only allowed to enter the chambers in their under clothing.
I think the J6 hearings would wind down fairly quickly, and we wouldn’t see much of Jerry Nads if he has to seen wearing one of Nancy’s bras to contain the man boobs w/ matching depends.
13. ????
😂 COULD become quite the contest!
i’m going with him telling everyone how smart he is.
I really like #11. In fact, I’ll pay for a couple truckloads of tomatoes from California to make the even more festive.
Also, for #13 I’d condemn Biden’s compound in Delaware and construct a new Trump golf course on the site.
# 13 Build a gallows in the DC mall
OR, he might ….
1) Make Jared Kushner Secretary Of State
2) Continue his tradition of picking the worst possible people for his Cabinet.
3) Create a new federal agency — The Department Of Warp Speed Solutions — creating DNA modifications for every known disease
4) Create a new federal agency — The Department Of Really Cool Slogans — since MAGA is getting kind of stale
I’m sure y’all can come up with many moar possibilities.
5) Blow Fauci (again)
We will have a new Q, who will tell us to trust the plan and tell us that any head-scratching moves made by trump is all part of 55-D chess. Trump will hire a do nothing AG whom Q will tell us to trust.
13. Allow Ivanka to once again sit in his lap. All the tabloids have been saying Ivanka has sort of backed off dad since he no more pres.
13# Throw a victory party declaring Covid defeated and saving millions of lives with warp speed and the safe and effective Jab
Seriously, #13 End the Emergency orders we are still operating under. Investigate Pfizer / Moderna / NIH / FDA. Maybe arrest the CEOs for crimes against humanity, lock them all up like the J6 defendants.
Just say’n
NO, wait. corporations are guilty of crimes and should be fined. The executives that make the decisions and give orders are not guilty and should not be punished. That is the way it has always been and that is the way it will remain. The American way is here to stay.
#3. Whoever is elected needs to bring back Pence and fire him on TV. I’d pay to see that.
Or just bring him back and make him ambassador to some third world shit hole, where he is to reside for the full 4 year term.
He better wear a vest at all time.