After 15 Grueling House Speaker Votes, America’s Long National Nightmare Can Finally Begin

Via The Babylon Bee

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WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a week of grueling votes for Speaker of the House — 15 in total — Kevin McCarthy was finally handed the people’s gavel and took his rightful place as Speaker. He lifted it up to the raucous applause of both Democrats and Republicans, signaling that the week of Congressional inactivity was over and the long national nightmare of taxing, spending, and corruption could finally begin.

“Finally, we will get down to the people’s business of stealing all their money for our pet projects, making backroom deals, and holding meaningless investigations where we yell and point angrily at people to get some sweet sound bytes for our reelections,” said McCarthy to the assembled warmongers, rapists, and half-dead geriatrics in the room. “Our long congressional nightmare is over, and the long national nightmare is finally here! Huzzah!”

Those in the crowd who were still sober enough to stand then stood and cheered.

Experts predict that business as usual will resume first thing Monday, as politicians give portentous speeches to empty rooms, have important meetings with weapons manufacturers, and attend coke orgies. “Americans are overwhelmingly pleased to be finally achieving a state of normalcy in Washington again,” said one pollster.

At publishing time, Congress had already authorized another $100 billion to Ukraine.

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34 Comments
anon a moos
anon a moos
January 7, 2023 3:06 pm

Funny… but not

zappalives
zappalives
  anon a moos
January 7, 2023 3:48 pm

Nice play on name of the guy with 10 anonymous accounts here.
Be warned…………he is the unofficial censor here .
If you “trigger” him he will downvote you 20 times plus snitch you out to admin for hurting his “feelings” !

Anonymous
Anonymous
  zappalives
January 7, 2023 4:36 pm

You’re thinking of Lloph.

bucknp
bucknp
  Anonymous
January 7, 2023 10:05 pm

Could be thinking of Arsho.

anon a moos
anon a moos
  zappalives
January 7, 2023 4:44 pm

No worries. Like on Who’s Line Is it, the points/downvotes, don’t matter

bucknp
bucknp
  anon a moos
January 9, 2023 9:02 am

You don’t seem to be “winning” the points/downvotes. Kidding…wait, perhaps so.

Hugs-n-Kisses, V.
Hugs-n-Kisses, V.
  zappalives
January 7, 2023 5:15 pm

“Nice play on name…”

“Just because you are paranoid does not mean anonymouseses are not out to get you”.

‘Twas like talking to myself, (used to it) but @ least two of the Anon’s ‘Admitted’ NEVER down-voting.

Pointless. It’s ALL about ‘the Words’.
Feel free to post a rebuttal/juxtaposition/whatever.

OR take the Cowards way out, and Down-Vote. 🤣 Anonymously.

zappalives
zappalives
  Hugs-n-Kisses, V.
January 7, 2023 6:01 pm

Nice……….another fake account named hugs and kisses.
Plus a nice video thrown !
Did that hurt your feelings ?

Congenital analgesia
Congenital analgesia
  zappalives
January 7, 2023 11:19 pm

So, apparently you are an anonymous down-voter. ’cause ya didn’t actually say anything, now did ya?

bucknp
bucknp
  Hugs-n-Kisses, V.
January 9, 2023 9:07 am

I ‘ve mentioned before the hilarious event at the Texas GOP convention in Fort Worth, Tx. in 2010. At the end of the convention and last speeches (uh lies) some dude hops on stage wearing a the mask and yells in an open mic , “V for Vendetta” then runs lighting fast off the stage and out the building. Crazy world I suppose. Cops detained the masked man about two blocks from the convention center. I got a laugh out of the act.

JIMSKI
JIMSKI
  zappalives
January 7, 2023 5:18 pm

admin is not real big on feelings… .

bucknp
bucknp
  JIMSKI
January 9, 2023 9:13 am
Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
January 7, 2023 4:08 pm

Excuse my ignorance but, what powers do the Speaker of the House hold? He/She controls what goes up for a vote? What else?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Glock-N-Load
January 7, 2023 4:37 pm

When Biden dies, doesn’t he get promoted to vice-whore under Kamala?

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Anonymous
January 7, 2023 5:03 pm

Far too many believe that in relation to Pelosi and the 25th being activated against Biden. NO. We saw this under Nixon. Nixon resigned, Ford became president, then he nominated Rockefeller as VP and he was approved by the Congress. Only if we are lucky enough to lose both Biden and Harris is one incident does the speaker become president.

bucknp
bucknp
  Anonymous
January 7, 2023 10:10 pm

I forget. Do I care much? I care but not much.

Ginger
Ginger
  Glock-N-Load
January 7, 2023 4:45 pm

They choose who sit on what committee and their position.
So if he likes pansy Graham’s idea such as this, he pushes it. It is congress that can declare war.

Lindsey Graham Calls for US Tanks on the Ground in Ukraine – Wants All-Out War with Nuclear Russia

He would also be right behind Harris in line to be President.

zappalives
zappalives
  Ginger
January 7, 2023 4:55 pm

Vicious little faggot that lindsey !

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
January 7, 2023 5:00 pm

The nightmare began the minute the Constitution was ratified.

Wade Baker
Wade Baker
January 7, 2023 5:06 pm

I keep skimming these BB headlines and not recognizing them as satire.

Gross
Gross
January 7, 2023 6:31 pm

He’s the Beta male version of Nancy Pelosi. He bends over for Klaus Schwab.

Fuck this shit
Fuck this shit
January 7, 2023 6:51 pm

There should have been one vote and done. If you can vote 15 times until you get the result you want then there is no vote. More proof our country is NOT democratic. What a total crock.

Props to Matt Gaetz for not betraying the people.

zappalives
zappalives
  Fuck this shit
January 7, 2023 8:35 pm

Your downvoter is named anonymous.
It has at least 10 accounts on this site.
It claims to be the censor here.

bucknp
bucknp
  zappalives
January 9, 2023 9:29 am

Probably “voted” 10 times for Trump.

Eva
Eva
  Fuck this shit
January 8, 2023 2:41 am

We are not a democracy. We are a republic. No one in their right mind would want a democracy. Read about the history of ancient Athens. Democracy was their downfall.

bucknp
bucknp
  Eva
January 9, 2023 9:32 am

I heard one of the “conservative” talking head radio guys say we are a “democratic republic”.

cricketTheFirst
cricketTheFirst
  Fuck this shit
January 8, 2023 8:02 am

Every one of them had their price to buy their vote and install him. It took all that time and voting to haggle. You know, ‘The Art of the Deal’. America or Americans did not figure into their plans.
It’s all about the benjamins. Theirs. Not yours.

nkit
nkit
January 7, 2023 9:34 pm

comment image

BL
BL
January 7, 2023 9:53 pm

Does anyone care which criminal in the cartel gets to hold the GD gavel? If you answered yes, you’re a moran.

It’s a f’ing criminal cartel, ALL of them….. It doesn’t matter.

Thunder
Thunder
January 8, 2023 4:56 am

No truer word has ever been said, the Nightmare can now begin. Criminal voting for criminals is not a democracy.
Be very afraid, it will unravel quickly because of the garrote around Democracies throat.
I cannot believe what has happened to this country

DFJ150
DFJ150
January 8, 2023 7:10 am

Lies, threats, bribes, empty promises. The deep state will not be denied its designated rulers (oops, leaders).

cricketTheFirst
cricketTheFirst
January 8, 2023 7:14 am

When one evil leaves, another more evil takes their place. Think of sharks teeth. Fauci’s replacement too.

Kevin McCarthy Had ‘Dinner’ With Klaus Schwab, Spoke At WEF With McConnell’s Wife

“If you aren’t destroying your enemies, it’s because you have been conquered and assimilated, you do not even have an idea of who your enemies are. You have been brainwashed into believing you are your own enemy, and you are set against yourself. The enemy is laughing at you as you tear yourself to pieces. That is the most effective warfare an enemy can launch on his foes: confounding them.”
~ Bangambiki Habyarimana, Pearls Of Eternity

ssdd. Nothing new under the sun.

Anonymous
Anonymous
January 8, 2023 10:34 pm

He holds that hammer like Paul Pelosi.