BEARDED DUDE WITH PMS

Sure glad you cleared that up, REP. Impeccable logic. And the insight! Just brilliant.

Yup. He (and it is NOT a she) has an overabundance of putrefied matter accumulated in it’s lower intestines, the result of pizza and other slop ingested over too many years.
I’d suggest a reverse osmosis colon cleanse flush, because he’s literally full of shit.

One day, all the body parts got into an argument, about which was most important in bodily function. Who was the Boss?
The Brain said: “I am most important. Without critical thinking, man fails. I’m boss.”
The Eyes said: “Beg to differ. We see the environment to show man where to go.”
The Nose says: “Bah. Olfactory senses alert humans to all pleasant aromas.”
The Stomach chimes in with: “You parts are all wrong. I tell a man when he needs energy, with hunger pangs, and I process all the delicious nutrition a man ingests into his body.”
The Muscles, in harmony, all yell: “Bullshit. See how far a human goes when muscles aren’t at work. He goes nowhere. The muscular system is boss. For sure!”
At which point the Anus quietly opens up and says, from the back row: “I think I have the most importance for healthy humans, as I release all the waste matter from the body, and usually in a controlled, somewhat comfortable manner. I believe I’m the boss. ”

All the other body parts start howling with laughter, mocking the asshole unmercifully.

The next day, the asshole closed up. Got tight. Wouldn’t relax. Call in his old friend Constipation to come visit for a while. . .

The brain got a little foggy & synapses misfired;
The eyes started to water & get bloodshot, blurring vision.
The nose became stuffed up and dry, alternatingly exhibiting post nasal drip. Non-stop.
The stomach got really tight. Bloated, with reverse gas backup, from the upper & lower GI tracts. Retching and the dry heaves with convulsions made the human a basket case.
The muscles lost mass, got weak from oxygen depravation, and began to wither.

The argument was finally settled when the Medicos brought in a couple of mediators,
(dried, pitted plums, and prune juice) who had extensive experience in consoling the sphincter, to where it let go, and released its angst, much to the delight of the other body parts, which paid the asshole homage and relinquished any disagreements about what is most important.

The moral of the story?
One doesn’t need brains to be given the title of Boss, and most bosses are assholes.

Also think about the fact the Officer Corps generally come from colleges. ROTC and all that stuff. Imagine fighting with whiny, crying faggot officers. The 1st Lieutenants will get scragged faster than the enemy can usually kill them.