After Five Minutes With Biden, Xi Gives Order To Invade Taiwan

Via The Babylon Bee

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — After spending five minutes in the room with President Biden, President Xi Jinping made the call to go ahead and invade Taiwan.

“This has been very enlightening, now if you’ll excuse me for a moment,” said President Xi, stepping out of the room. “Oh man, that was so hard to keep a straight face! Woo. Okay, someone get me the army chief, it’s a green light all the way.”

According to sources, the meeting started off with President Biden offering to show President Xi how to use a fork. “Can you say ‘fork’? We use these for eating here in America,” explained Biden. “You’ll find it so much easier eating your delicious General Tso’s chicken with a fork than with those little sticks. Speaking of, would you like to hear me play ‘Chopsticks’ on the piano?”

President Xi graciously allowed Biden to play the piano before stepping out to make his call. “Yeah, we’re good,” said a chuckling President Xi to his Defense Minister. “Nothing to worry about here. Like, nothing. I have to go listen to some racist piano playing – will explain later, happy invasion!”

At publishing time, First Lady Jill Biden had called President Biden to see how his meeting with the “breakfast eggroll” was going.

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6 Comments
BL
BL
November 16, 2023 2:12 pm

Pooh Bear meets Boo Boo.

musket
musket
November 16, 2023 3:18 pm

If it’s going to happen then it will be NLT 1 July after that the buildup of bile against bidet will prove he’s out and the left has a snowball chance in NYC of winning anything

Tom MacGyver
Tom MacGyver
November 16, 2023 3:38 pm

Why should Xi bother with Taiwan when he’s conquering America without firing a shot???

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  Tom MacGyver
November 17, 2023 1:04 am

Because Taiwan isn’t full of foreigners … folks there all speak chinese …

Larsen
Larsen
November 17, 2023 2:59 am

“Doctor” Jill also called the Big Guy to find out how big a cut Joe got from the Chinks.