Biden’s Three Paths to Victory

Guest Post by Ann Coulter

Democrats have three paths to victory next November, all being eagerly embraced by Republicans.

PLAN A: Enrage Republicans by bringing a string of ludicrous indictments, civil suits and ballot disqualifications against Donald Trump, thus tricking the GOP into making him the nominee.

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RESULT: Joe Biden easily wins a second term. If Trump behaves as we know he will, Biden wins even if he’s dead.

Wait, but why would Republicans make Trump the nominee just because — OH MY GOSH, IT’S WORKING!!!

When Trump declared his presidential run on Nov. 15, 2022, he was dead in the water. November, December, January, February — polls all put liberal-slayer Gov. Ron DeSantis in the lead, or within striking distance. He wasn’t even a candidate yet.

Then the indictments started rolling in. The media went back to 24-7 unhinged Trump commentary, and the former president’s numbers soared. The more liberals indicted him, the more it juiced his presidential campaign. (And they get to enjoy themselves while doing it.)

Defying all expectations, by me at least, Republicans have reacted to these garbage prosecutions by saying, Watch this, liberals! We’re going to punish you by handing Democrats the presidency, the House and the Senate. You disqualified Trump from the ballot, Colorado? We’re going to put Democrats in a position to pack the court!

I can’t enstupid myself enough to understand why being the victim of legal persecution is supposed to make someone a great candidate for president. Please draw a diagram from “These Trump indictments are outrageous!” to “Let’s make him our nominee!”

Lots of people — or at least several — have been victimized by viciously unfair criminal prosecutions.

The Innocence Project framed an innocent black man, Alstory Simon, for a double murder in Chicago in 1999. He sat in prison for 15 years until a couple of federal agents reinvestigated and exposed the rotten truth. (Watch the documentary “A Murder in the Park” — free on Prime!)

Should Simon be president?

Kyle Rittenhouse, who shot three men who were trying to kill him in Kenosha, Wisconsin, was the victim of a blatantly political prosecution. He could have gone to prison for life.

Should he be president?

The only way Jake Gardner could possibly have been indicted for defending himself during a BLM riot in Omaha, Nebraska, was to create an all-new legal system just for him. The Democratic district attorney concluded it was self-defense, then — for no legal reason — abdicated his responsibility and appointed a sleazy black prosecutor to indict Gardner.

Should Gardner be president? Too late! With the deck stacked against him, he committed suicide.

And by the way, did any of you warriors for Trump — I’m looking at you, Clay Travis — ever make a peep about these other miscarriages of justice? [Answer: No.] What was done to Simon, Rittenhouse and Gardner was a million times worse than anything being done to Trump.

You want to punish liberals for their maniacal pursuit of a standard-issue, extra-obnoxious Republican ex-president? Nominate a candidate who will win, not the guy who’s lost the last three elections for us and is guaranteed to lose again.

PLAN B: Keep telling the public that Trump is the prohibitive front-runner. Talk about him as if he were already the nominee. This will discourage sane Republicans from voting. What’s the point? It’s going to be Trump anyway; the media say so.

RESULT: Trump’s the nominee; landslide for Biden. (It’s very similar to Plan A.)

To be sure, the polls are grim for those of us who would prefer a GOP nominee who could conceivably win. But most poll respondents don’t even know who’s running for president right now. Saying “Trump” is just another way of saying “Let’s Go Brandon” or “FJB” (and just as clever!).

People think polls are IQ tests. They’re afraid to get the answer wrong but know absolutely nothing. Literally nothing. This week, two liberals independently told me they liked Nikki Haley, but thought she was “too isolationist.” Yes, the neocons’ Frankenstein, who couldn’t care less about America but has demanded war on three continents at every debate, is too “isolationist.”

They know nothing.

As I keep saying, polls the year before an election are mere name-recognition contests — and the media are never going to let anyone forget Donald Trump. They’ll still be talking about Jan. 6 in the 2064 election.

Another media bete noir, Newt Gingrich, was crushing the polls, at least before the voting started. These were the polls in December 2011, just a few weeks before Iowa and New Hampshire:

“Gingrich sits atop the Republican presidential field in Iowa … according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll. … [W]ith 33 percent support among likely caucus-goers in the new poll, Gingrich runs well ahead of his two main rivals, Romney and Paul … at 18 percent.” — The Washington Post, Dec. 6, 2011

“[According to the latest New York Times/CBS News Poll] … Mr. Gingrich … would be supported enthusiastically as his party’s presidential nominee by more voters than any of his rivals, the poll found.” — The New York Times, Dec. 7, 2011

“Gingrich also leads Romney in Iowa polls and has been gaining on him in New Hampshire, the state holding the first primary.” — The New York Post, Dec. 9, 2011

“Gingrich is leading the field in Iowa [and] closing fast on Romney [in New Hampshire], raising the possibility he could score a stunning upset in a state long considered Romney’s firewall.” — The Boston Globe, Dec. 12, 2011

“Gingrich … recently rocketed to the lead in Iowa, which holds the first caucuses Jan. 3, and he is in second place in the polls in New Hampshire, which votes Jan. 10.” — The Boston Globe, Dec. 16, 2011

Two weeks later, Gingrich came in fourth in Iowa, and a week after that, fifth out of five in New Hampshire. Apparently, before actually casting their ballots, voters did some reading.

My message of hope to Republicans who prefer winning to losing: Ignore the media. They haven’t made Trump the nominee yet.

PLAN C: Get Republicans to nominate Nikki Haley.

RESULT: Either way, a Democrat wins.

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25 Comments
m
m
December 21, 2023 3:42 pm

Ann Coulter went full retardest

CCRider
CCRider
December 21, 2023 3:56 pm

Coulter is forever trashing both Repos and Dummos yet never figuring out that voting itself is the real scam.

Hollow man
Hollow man
December 21, 2023 3:57 pm

Whomever is actually picking the president will provide the votes. It really that simple.

VOWG
VOWG
  Hollow man
December 22, 2023 10:00 am

Sure looks that way these days. The republic she be shot.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
December 21, 2023 4:47 pm

I can’t imagine what it must feel like to be in a position where you could write practically anything you want and yet know you can only submit something like this.

Ginger
Ginger
  hardscrabble farmer
December 21, 2023 5:41 pm

Well, from what I understand Ann once wrote this piece that was a regular magnum opus that nobody would touch with a ten foot pole called “Man!!!Why is it so hard on a woman?”

B.S. in V.C.
B.S. in V.C.
December 21, 2023 6:23 pm

Trump must’ve grabbed Anne by the pussy

Anonymous
Anonymous
  B.S. in V.C.
December 22, 2023 12:44 am

or didn’t.

Sam's Uncle
Sam's Uncle
December 21, 2023 8:37 pm
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
December 21, 2023 8:43 pm

The idea that Ron DeSantis could win the presidency is silly. He would be one of the shortest presidents ever, and those few who were shorter were in an age without TV and even without photography.

Chud Bentley
Chud Bentley
December 21, 2023 8:47 pm

Show me on the doll where Mean Orange Man touched you, Anne.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Chud Bentley
December 22, 2023 6:59 am

Oh my God this had me on the floor laughing!!

pro stoae
pro stoae
December 21, 2023 10:41 pm

I actually find it interesting to read AC. It’s like a NASCAR driver missed the obvious and decided to keep turning right. How is it that truly smart people can build such would-be insightful analysis on a false reality?

Colorado Artist
Colorado Artist
December 21, 2023 10:53 pm

When TDS mud sharks go off the rails, they do it engulfed in flames over the deepest rocky gorge with sharp rocks on the bottom.
Ann is no longer sane.
DJT broke her.

Dan
Dan
December 22, 2023 12:10 am

The left showed us their “path to victory in 2020 and again in 2022. Cheating. Vote fraud. Fraudulent ballots. And that’s how they will win next year. They no longer even TRY to hide the cheating. They don’t need to. EVERY mechanism tasked with keeping elections honest has been subverted, suborned and corrupted. The left OWNS everyone who might actually pose a threat to their cheating plans. They can now act with total immunity. And they will do so.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Dan
December 22, 2023 7:05 am

I have to admit there are parts of my brain that do not want to admit this to be true. But they are the weak parts of my brain. The strong parts know you are 100% correct. 2018, 2020 and 2022 are 100% confirmation this is correct

Ted
Ted
December 22, 2023 12:48 am

Ann should advise the President that he needs to take some time off from his strenuous job and get a one way ticket to that lodge down in Texas where Scalia went hunting.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Ted
December 22, 2023 7:07 am

I thought he was in Wyoming when they killed him.

Voltara
Voltara
December 22, 2023 2:42 am

Coulter has lost what fragment of her mind remained. She had all the conservative respect and attention, blew it for nothing and she’s never been the same since. She’s still obsessed with the blue vs. red thing when even the average schmo has worked out it’s theatre. As if having the DeSantis buffoon as President would be any better than the retard Biden. Everyone knows Trump would win a fair election in a massive landslide. The problem is not his ability to defeat any candidate either party fields against him.

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 22, 2023 7:19 am

The only answer I can not come up with is this: Is Ann getting paid by the CIA or the NSA? Because this whole article looks like grooming to me. Let’s face it, for obvious reasons, Trump will be the nominee and his rigged loss is guaranteed. The reasons will be as it was in 2022, he lost because he was a shitty candidate not because it was rigged or something.

Hardscrabble Farmer
Hardscrabble Farmer
  Anonymous
December 22, 2023 8:04 am

Like the tranny stuff this is a demoralization campaign against the remnant, nothing more. And anyone who thinks Trump isn’t a willing participant is not up to speed.

VOWG
VOWG
December 22, 2023 10:02 am

I used to read Ann’s material some time ago, not lately.

invisible
invisible
December 22, 2023 10:14 am

Pour yourself another Ann, it’ll all be okay……..

Anonymous
Anonymous
December 22, 2023 10:56 am

Just another “look at me” cunning stunt screed…from a stunning cunt…

Jdog
Jdog
December 23, 2023 12:13 pm

Anyone who still believes in the democratic process is a fool….