CDC Officially Changes COVID Guidelines To Whatever Your Uncle Frank Said About It Years Ago

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a new meta-analysis of COVID data, the Center for Disease Control has updated its guidelines to just do what your hillbilly Uncle Frank said to do four years ago.

“After tasking dozens of the best minds in science to review hundreds of studies, we have determined that Uncle Frank was right the whole time,” announced C.D.C. director Dr. Mandy Cohen. “Basically, just treat it like the flu. So, um, sorry about that whole ‘you can’t be with your dying husband’ deal. Our bad.”

According to sources, Uncle Frank had said the exact same thing back in 2020 when the whole COVID thing began. “Despite no formal medical or epidemiological training, Uncle Frank has somehow managed to continually stay a step ahead of the C.D.C.,” said researcher Dr. Stan Makowski. “Frank’s sage advice to ‘let ’em stick ya with that there vaccine only if COVID might kill ya’ has now been backed up by a large body of research. He also prophetically called for people to ‘forget about that dumb social distancing crap, just stay home if you’re sick’. Such an incredible mind! Uncle Frank’s brilliance knows no bounds.”

The C.D.C. has now officially changed all of its guidelines to match Uncle Frank’s recommendations for COVID, as well as all other infectious diseases. For his part, Uncle Frank has declined all offers to take a position with the C.D.C., reportedly saying, “Those swamp things would have to drag my cold, dead body out there, I’ll tell ya that right now.”

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29 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2024 3:07 pm

Mandatory six-foot distancing, except on Casual Fridays, when the Credulity Strain relaxes.

Trust the muhfuh’n science.
.

DAMNING: Deborah Birx Admits She and Fauci Made COVID Rules Out of Thin Air, Hid Data (7.19.22)

Covid Lies: Dr Birx ‘Confesses’ In Self-Serving New Book

Vicious criminal Neil Ferguson playing key role in new lockdowns

Professor Neil Ferguson, and the idiot presidents and prime ministers who believe his computer predictions

The Pandemic Predictor: Neil Ferguson: The Ghost in the Machine

.
“We Made It Up ~ CDC:
https://www.bitchute.com/search/?query=6%20feet%20distancing&kind=video&sort=new
.
Maybe more:

THE REAL REASON FOR SOCIAL DISTANCING STAYING 6 FEET APART

GPS/surveillance gait recognition?

But, of course, it’s finally all about control:

Occult Ritual Transformation and Coronavirus: How Mask Wearing, Hand Washing, “Social Separation” and Lockdowns Are Age-Old Occult Rituals Being Used to Initiate People Into a New Global Order

.
OBEY.

“Political correctness is communist propaganda writ small. In my study of communist societies, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat the lies themselves, they lose once and for all their sense of probity. To assent to obvious lies is in some small way to become evil oneself. One’s standing to resist anything is thus eroded, and even destroyed. A society of emasculated liars is easy to control. I think if you examine political correctness, it has the same effect and is intended to.”
― Theodore Dalrymple

Dalrymple again, at Taki’s, last week:

“. . . the purpose of propaganda in Communist states was not to inform or persuade, but to humiliate: that is to say, to force people to pretend to believe what they could not possibly believe, and to celebrate what they most detested, including their own enslavement. Of course, the confessions also broke the spirit of those who made them, even if they survived. How could one respect oneself when one had given in to obvious lies in order to put an end to torture? What the regime wanted (though perhaps its leaders never quite put it this way) was a population that hated and despised itself.” READ REST:

Tortured Art

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Anonymous
March 3, 2024 11:47 pm

mark, is that you? Love your Voluminously Denying the Antecedent. You must be right.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  'Reality' Doug
March 4, 2024 7:14 am

?

The Central Scrutinizer
The Central Scrutinizer
  Anonymous
March 4, 2024 9:13 am

In the final analysis, the little head usually has the last word.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2024 3:15 pm
k31
k31
  Anonymous
March 3, 2024 9:38 pm

Limited hangout bullshit.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2024 3:16 pm
Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2024 3:39 pm

Three years ago the media told us that Covid was the most deadly virus ever and it was killing everybody in sight.

Today they say it’s just the flu. Actually it was always the flu because Covid is a hoax.

Simplicus Carpenteria
Simplicus Carpenteria
  Anonymous
March 3, 2024 4:31 pm

I do think it was a hoax also ,but I can tell you that the normal mutation course for virus’s over time is definitely in the direction of less severe . its like epidemiology 101 knowledge . If a virus kills off its host it dies , therefore it becomes less deadly so that it can continue to move thru a given population . This is the level where adaptation of species / natural selection actually works like they claim .it applies to some stuff but its a poor explanation for most stuff .

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Simplicus Carpenteria
March 3, 2024 4:55 pm

There are no viruses.

ViroLIEgy

The Desperate Measles Myth Comes to Michigan

.
https://mikestone.substack.com/

https://www.lewrockwell.com/?s=viroLIEgy

Inquiring Mind
Inquiring Mind
  Anonymous
March 3, 2024 7:44 pm

I had the measles when I was about 7 years old. I guarantee that it was not a myth, and it was not fun, but I survived it. Most people survived it. I also guarantee you that I would rather have the measles again than get the vaccine, especially the MMR (Measles, Mumps, Rubella) vaccine. The MMR vaccine has had a very negative effect on many of the children who received it. Don’t really want to learn what it will do to me, just like I am not interested in learning what eating a Tide detergent pod will do to the health of my body.

I believe that experiencing measles once give me a life time immunity. If not, I will still avoid the vaccine and take my chances.

Svarga Loka
Svarga Loka
  Inquiring Mind
March 4, 2024 7:41 am

Plus, some people speculate that having had the measles has an protective effect against other illnesses including cancer later in life.

Inquiring Mind
Inquiring Mind
  Svarga Loka
March 4, 2024 1:47 pm

Are you familiar with the published works of Dr Max Gerson, “A Cancer Therapy”, and Dr Hulda Regehr Clark, “The Cure for All Cancers”?

Ed
Ed
  Simplicus Carpenteria
March 4, 2024 8:54 am

Well, SC, that’s the theory anyway. I’ll consider looking at it more closely as soon as the first virus in history is isolated and found to be transmissible via Koch’s Postulates.

Tigger
Tigger
  Anonymous
March 4, 2024 4:10 am

Simply research flu figures for 2020-21. In the western world it disappeared. Flu disappeared for 2 years, does that appear reasonable?

VOWG
VOWG
  Tigger
March 4, 2024 7:55 am

Of course it does, when the dreaded “covid” took over, and the killer vax had to be forced on all of society. s/

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
March 3, 2024 5:24 pm

Those tools over at the CDC are probably, if they haven’t already, teeing up the next Plandemic probably in conjunction with the criminal and treasonous illegal alien invasion. Auntie will go with a lovely CRISPRD hybrid MERSA and penicillin resistant Tuberculosis. Serious respiratory diseases– gwaranteed to excite the most dictatorially minded:mandatory face masks, lockdowns and vaxx passports, serfs. They will save the haemmoragic fever for the third and final round of the NWO depop programme.
FMC and FJB.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Aunt Acid
March 4, 2024 6:07 am

Hi auntie- I agree that they already have the next killer but may still be working on a REAL vaccine for the elites.
My guess is something with the transmission ease of a cold but lethality of Marberg.. TPTB are sorely disappointed that so few died from their last “lab leak”. This time it will be balls to the wall population reduction efforts.

The first time may have been a control experiment– the next one will be “fuck it, let’s just get rid of them”

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Aunt Acid
March 4, 2024 7:32 am

Disease X is going to start 4/8/24 ~ in conjunctions w/ the eclipse. Mark your calendar.

Ed
Ed
  Aunt Acid
March 4, 2024 9:02 am

Autie, I think that if it is possible to cause a global pandemic of some deadly disease, the Malthusians would have already pulled it off. The best they’ve been able to do is initiate a hoax with the declaration of the covid pandemic so that they could push a bioweapon disguised as a vaccine. It’s very likely that diseases from a lab can only be be inflicted upon humans via injection, and that method is only theoretical, i.e. the germ theory of disease.

Aunt Acid
Aunt Acid
  Ed
March 4, 2024 9:05 am

Marburg doesn’t need a needle.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2024 9:21 pm

Covid is the flu. Anyone who couldn’t figure that out is a fucking retard.

Knothing
Knothing
  Anonymous
March 3, 2024 9:49 pm

Retards are not real. They are just faking it for sympathy. Everyone knows that.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 4, 2024 2:54 am

..except that they still demand that people trying to legally apply for a visa or green card, show documentation of having gotten the injection, and unless it’s a very recent injection they still demand that the applicant get another!
no such demands if you just come across from mexico though.

Kennyboy
Kennyboy
March 4, 2024 7:42 am

THESE ARE THE “SAME PEOPLE” THAT CREATE “DISEASES”, JUST FOR PROFIT FOLKS…THUS NEED TO BE DIS-BANNED!
THEY CREATED THE “SCAM-DEMIC” REMEMBER???

VOWG
VOWG
March 4, 2024 7:52 am

People scoffed when I said treat it live the flu. I was right then and I am still right. Good grief, I wonder why?

Ed
Ed
  VOWG
March 4, 2024 9:05 am

People scoffed when I said that it was an imaginary virus. I still think that I was right, as well.

The Central Scrutinizer
The Central Scrutinizer
March 4, 2024 9:12 am

BB keeps this level of shit up and someone is going to Charlie Hebdo their ass. It’s just too good to ignore!

Kalbo
Kalbo
March 4, 2024 10:19 am

It is called VAXXANASIA.