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[Images inserted by Maggie for those who prefer pictures to words.]
Almost everyone has some narcissistic traits, but being conceited, argumentative, or selfish sometimes (or even all the time) doesn’t amount to a personality disorder. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a long-term pattern of abnormal thinking, feeling, and behavior in many different situations. The traits on this page will seem peculiar or disturbing when someone acts this way — i.e., you will know that something is not right, and contact with narcissists may make you feel bad about yourself. It’s not unusual for narcissists to be outstanding in their field of work. But these are the successful people who have a history of alienating colleagues, co-workers, employees, students, clients, and customers — people go away mad or sad after close contact with narcissists.
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
(a) Just one — but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.
(b) None at all — he hires menials for work that’s beneath him.
This is a compilation of observations I’ve made from various people known well for many years. Most of these traits apply to all of the narcissists I’ve known, but that doesn’t mean that they’ll all apply to the narcissists you know. My narcissists are all high-functioning — that is, they’ve maintained gainful employment, marriages and family life — and there may certainly be narcissistic traits that I haven’t observed among the narcissists I’ve known. You can go directly to my full commentary on narcissists’ traits or you can select what you’re most interested in from the pink box below. Narcissicism is a personality disorder and that means that narcissists’ personalities aren’t organized in a way that makes sense to most people, so the notes below do not necessarily go in the order I’ve listed them or in any order at all. Interaction with narcissists is confusing, even bewildering — their reasons for what they do are not the same as normal reasons. In fact, treating them like normal people (e.g., appealing to their better nature, as in “Please have a heart,” or giving them the chance to apologize and make amends) will make matters worse with a narcissist.
Continue reading “How to Recognize a Narcissist”
