Guest Post by Andy Borowitz
Credit Photographs by (from left) Chip Somodevilla/Getty, Kevork Djansezian/Getty, Darren Hauck/Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the hopes of appealing to Republican primary voters, candidates for the 2016 Presidential nomination are working around the clock to unlearn everything that they have learned since the third grade, aides to the candidates have confirmed.
With the Iowa caucuses less than a year away, the hopefuls are busy scrubbing their brains of basic facts of math, science, and geography in an attempt to resemble the semi-sentient beings that Republican primary voters prize.
An aide to Jeb Bush acknowledged that, for the former Florida governor, “The unlearning curve has been daunting.”
Continue reading “Republicans Unlearning Facts Learned in Third Grade to Compete in Primary”
