Inspirational story sent in by a reader named Cameron. These are the stories that teach you what is really important in life. Family, friends and community are an unbeatable combination. We should all remember that.
At a time when my wife and I should have been hanging Christmas ornaments and preparing to spend the holidays with our three month old daughter Lily, our lives were torn apart by terrible news. My wife, Heather, had been feeling ill for a while after giving birth to Lily. When we started to think her tiredness was more than just new mother symptoms, we booked an appointment with our doctor and received the heartbreaking news – Heather had mesothelioma, a rare and extremely deadly form of cancer.
We were not familiar with this disease and our doctor carefully explained as much basic information as he could. Heather and I were completely stunned as we listened to him list the potential outcome of the disease and how imperative it was that we immediately get her to see a specialist. It did not take long for us to make plans to travel to Boston to get her in to see a reputable doctor who had long-term experience in helping patients fight mesothelioma.
As we were leaving the doctor’s office after getting the diagnosis, I could tell how worried and anxious Heather was. I was fighting my own fears and I realized I would have to become a caregiver for her. Heather’s face revealed all of her anxieties, and I tried desperately to hide the worries that were bubbling up inside of me as I made the decision to do everything I could do to take care of her and help her to get better.
Facing the possibility of your wife dying due to cancer is not something anyone should have to go through, but it happens to numerous people every single day. I can only say that it is important to let your determination take priority in helping your loved one to get better.
Becoming Heather’s chief caregiver expanded my already full list of things to do. Heather and I both had been working full-time while also taking care of Lily. Due to her illness, Heather had to leave her job and focus on getting better. I stopped working full-time and worked only part-time hours so I could pick up the slack in other areas. I did my best to be there for Heather every moment possible, and I still tried to spend as much time with Lily as I could. My responsibilities and my anxiety about what could happen overwhelmed me, and many days I felt like I simply couldn’t go on. Luckily, I found out that we did not have to fight this battle alone. Family, friends and even strangers came through with invaluable support when we needed it most.
Members of our community helped us financially, and they also provided immensely helpful care for Lily. It would have been difficult beyond belief to try to survive the whole ordeal without the help that was so generously given to us. If I had to give one piece of advice to others in the caregiver role today, it would be to accept every offer of help that comes your way. The support you receive from others can be a huge weight off your shoulders, and will remind you that you are not alone in the fight.
After months of difficult treatments for mesothelioma, Heather was able to defy the odds and beat this terrible cancer. While she was originally told she may have only 15 months to live, she has now been healthy and happy for over 6 years. Now, we wish to help spread hope to others in their own cancer battles by sharing our story of success over cancer.
Great story. Nice to take a break from all the doom.
Terrific outcome. Hope all remains well.
Great story… Amen..maybe this is what real hope really is.
Wonder how much this “inspirational” story cost the taxpayers. Lots of details left out.
Cameron
It’s good to learn of a success. Life as a caregiver grinds you down, even with support. You wish you could change places and it would all be over.
My first wife died of cancer. A few years later, my mother died of old age and something I never found out, and my second wife was my main support then. Three years later, she was diagnosed with the same type cancer as the first. Seven years later, I wonder why I am still here.
Great story, and then anon has to come in and shit on it.
If Heather was a non taxpaying illegal receiving free care, you would have a point.
I am not terribly religious nor am I one to preach, but I do find that if you belong to a church attended by decent people, they are always happy to help. We have had several friends in recent years diagnosed with various types of cancer some who survived others who did not. The one thing I truly enjoy doing is creating a really nice home cooked meal. It always seems to be appreciated. My wife will volunteer to help with the children, if they need to be watched for a doctors appointment, or if they need a ride to a school event. Often times it is the little things that get overlooked like housekeeping and laundry that can help keep a sense of normalcy in the chaos of an illness. Sometimes even being there to listen can make a big difference. Always do what you can. I truly get more out of it than I could ever describe. I also believe it sets a good example for my children, which is an added bonus.
Thank you,
Bob.
This story — and the advice given by Cameron at the end — is a prime example of the importance of gifts, and how much that importance has been lost in our society.
We are led to believe that accepting offers of help and gifts from others is somehow a sign of weakness, and impinges on our “independence” as individuals and nuclear families. I know I have gone through this with things as simple as Christmas gifts from our neighbor to our daughter — and the immediate feeling that we somehow “owe” them as a result of receiving their gift. For people that exist almost wholly within the realm of market transactions — which result in both parties walking away owing nothing to the other — gift giving (and receiving) is a daunting concept.
Yet, as recently as 100 years ago, it’s the way that a majority of the people in this country lived. While homesteads may have been self-reliant, they were far from self-sufficient. They met some of their needs through the market, but a good many were met through what historians call networks of mutually-shared obligations among kin and community. Cameron’s story is a prime example of the remnants of those networks still at play. As economic contraction deepens, those kinds of interactions will only increase, out of necessity. And I, for one, think that we might be better off in the long run for it, as it will help us regain our own humanity through increased interaction and a true sense of interdependence.
Christopher – forced charity via redistribution taxes has killed charity. If they did not force me to give, and decide for me that drug addicts, welfare moms, etc., are deserving of my forced charity, I would donate much more than I do. I am sure I can make better choices re giving than the govt.
Beautiful story. Helps to put things into perspective, does it not?
@Christopher – In years past, when someone fell on hard times their friends/family/community rallied around them to help see them through the issue, in many cases even their employer and co-workers would give them a hand.
These days, we all just assume they will get some welfare, and probably undeservedly at that. The government is not trying to help people. Its trying to get them to latch onto the teat so they can take away even more freedoms than they already have.
Llpoh,
I had this discussion with our priest, he lives up the street and comes over occasionally for dinner. I told him I felt that the church, specifically the Catholic Church in the Boston area had sold their soul or made a deal with the devil when they got into bed with the government. The problem is all of these institutions are made of men by men and have the failings of the weakest man in power. They strive to hold onto what power they can and often lose sight of what they are really there for. Sometimes I think they feel that if they can just get a hold of some of that government money they can “help” more people. They always fail to understand that the government never does anything for nothing, they always take there pound of flesh. I always hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I used to be generally optimistic, now I am more pragmatic, but I try to be that way with a smile.
Bob.