Study Links Meat, Sugar Consumption To Early Death Among Those Who Choose To Be Happy In Life
WASHINGTON—According to a study published Wednesday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association, researchers have discovered a strong correlation between regular meat and sugar consumption and premature death among those who choose to lead happy and fulfilling lives. “Our data indicate that people who eat large amounts of red meat and saccharides have, on average, markedly shorter and more satisfying life spans,” said the study’s lead author, Aubrey Schrader, adding that frequent ingestion of animal protein, chocolate, and sweetened snacks and beverages lowered the average age of onset of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer for those who take pleasure in their daily existence. “Evidence from our study suggests that diets rich in prime rib, pulled pork, strawberry cheesecake, flank steak, and Snickers bars were directly related to younger ages at death among men and women who embraced their life and made the absolute most of their time on earth. Moreover, these individuals appeared to exhibit a greater peace in dying, able to pass on without any regrets in their lives whatsoever.” The study also revealed that the loved ones of those who passed away prematurely and contented were typically far better suited to handle their grief due to their high levels of alcohol consumption.
Via The Onion
Ah, the goooood life.
It’s from the Onion. It’s a joke.
I am addicted to chocolate. I eat some EVERY day. I cannot stop, nor do I want to. “Give me chocolate, or give me DEATH!!”
I am proud to say I have this book in my library.
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“Ten years after its original publication, Death by Chocolate remains the ultimate chocolate dessert cookbook. It won the James Beard Award, inspired a television show, and has sold over 100,000 copies. All of the original mouth-watering recipes remain, now supplemented by many new recipes carefully crafted by master-chef Marcel Desaulniers.”
Damn Onion piece.
Well right now I’d give a left nut for some of the things I enjoyed 10 months ago would taste good to me now ( my treatments destroyed my sense of taste…it’s slowly coming back ).
I work out 4 days a week so that I can enjoy some of that tasty stuff ( beer tastes awful right now…which pisses me off ) !
Chocolate is a HEALTH FOOD, dammit!!
No kidding- chocolate contains anti-oxidants, and copious amounts of the same hormones that the pleasure centers of the brain secrete during orgasm. It has always been known to be a powerful aphrodisiac, especially among women, who tend to be twice as likely to crave it as men.
As one wag once said, man cannot live on bread alone, but woman can live on chocolate.
A quote from one article:
“The Aztecs believed that chocolate was an aphrodisiac. One king, Montezuma, drank up to 50 cups of chocolate a day to satisfy his harem. Modern scientists have revealed the secret of Montezuma’s success: chocolate contains the stimulant theobromine and also phenylethylamine, which stimulate the same hormones as lovemaking.
Read more: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diet-and-nutrition/chocolate-guide.htm#ixzz2vxGdPKyc
Follow us: @NetDoctor on Twitter | NetDoctorUK on Facebook”
Here’s another article:
http://www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/healthy-eating/why-do-women-crave-chocolate.html
Now excuse me while I run out to add to my emergency stash of chocolate.
“Chocolate is a HEALTH FOOD, dammit!!” ———– Chicago999444
Absolutely true.
One caveat. It MUST be dark chocolate containing 70 percent cocoa or higher. Milk chocolate has few, if any, benefits.
“I eat some EVERY day. I cannot stop, nor do I want to”
That should be the theme song for the most obese generation in the history of mankind, baby boomers. It’s okay, somebody else is paying for their healthcare. Nobody would want to deprive them of anything.
I eat some everyday, but I make damn sure it isn’t coupled with sugar. I use sweetn’low, and fuck the noise about the health hazards of saccharine, which has never been proved to be harmful even though researchers gave it their very best shot for 40 years.
I’m not anywhere near obese, nor do I have any intention of becoming obese.
AWD
I buy a one pound block of Belgian 70% Dark Chocolate from Trader Joe’s for six bucks.
I consume two one-inch squares per day. It’s not about consuming anything you want, it’s a health choice. So, blow me.
I just bought a new mat to put my plate of bacon on.
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Remember the Chinese obamacare doctor?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO… Cocoa bean! Vegetable!!! Cocoa bean best feel-good food around!
Friday night is ALWAYS prime rib night for Eddie. And I’m now officially too fuckin’ old to die young.
(And I categorically refuse to get a colonoscopy, a prostate exam, or a PSA test. I’ll take my chances, thank you very much.)
Happy? Damn right I’m happy. My hero is Walter G. Bruhl.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/delaware-grandpa-wrote-obituary-hilarious-article-1.1720695
Chocolate is good for you. Causes endorphin and enkephalin (endogenous opiate) release. It’s like heroin, no wonder it makes you feel good.
Further absolute proof chocolate is good for you.
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P.S. I had to wade through a lot of shit searching “chocolate pussy” to get that lovely pic.
Meat is NOT bad for you!
Neither is chocolate.
Our brains are not made to function on low-fat/high-carb diets. This might help to explain why so many seem to care so little about what is happening in our world.
@Chicago, chemicals are chemicals and when that “little” bit is added to the THOUSANDS you are being force fed, it can make a big difference.
Aches, pains, exhaustion, allergies, you name it, much can be traced back to what we put into our bodies.
Hurting is NOT a part of aging that has to be suffered through, or covered up.
Makes me sad that so few can open their eyes and realize that what they put into their mouths (and on their skin) is the true underlying cause of their “illness.”
There are better options than aspartame and saccharine for sweetness. MUCH better options.
We have been fooled into believing that low calories equates to less fat on our bodies.
Small portions of REAL food creates slimmer people. Large portions of even “diet” food leads to fat asses.
It ain’t rocket science.
Death by Chocolate is one of the great books of the modern era, there isn’t a bad recipe in it.
TeresaE, when she talks about nutrition, people listen! (You too, Windy City Hot Potato)
Good stuff, girl.
Good post, Theresa, and point taken.
However, I will assert that the quantities of sugar needed to sweeten chocolate are far worse for you. I learned very young to strictly limit my consumption of refined sugar. It ricksaws your nerves, rots your teeth, saps your energy, makes your skin look blotchy and pasty, and interferes with proper elimination. Over-consumption causes heart disease and diabetes, and over-consumption is the rule rather than the exceptions because A) the crap is addictive- the more you consume, the more you crave it, and B.) almost every processed food is loaded with it.
It does so much harm, in fact, that I’m surprised that all the bat-brains clamoring to ban e-cigs to “protect the chillins” aren’t screaming for an age restriction on sugar consumption, and I’m appalled that the same people who don’t want their kid to even witness someone smoking a cigarette, happily supply their pups with sugary sweets on a daily basis. I am the daughter of a woman who was the lone 50s-era mother who most firmly did NOT believe that Hostess Cupcakes were a health food and did not keep cookies and other sugary garbage in the house for us to snack on.
Chicago999444, this post is NOT directed at you. You said – “fuck the noise about the health hazards of saccharine” – so it seems your mind is made up. OK, fine. I wouldn’t even think about trying to change it. However, I think saccharine sucks, and this is why … for others on the fence.
Perhaps people have forgotten that saccharin used to carry a strong warning label stating that it was known to cause cancer in laboratory animals. In 1977, research showed bladder tumors in male rats with the ingestion of saccharin. However, artificial sweetener lobbyists cried “foul” saying that the lab rats were given saccharin far in excess what a human would ingest. So, in 2000 da Gooberment passed a law confirming its safety and removed the warning label. Bad one day, good the next. So, do you trust the government?
But, let’s forget tests and studies. They are too easily manipulated to say whatever one wants them to say. Let’s use Common Sense instead.
Saccharin is an ARTIFICIAL sweetener. A.R.T.I.F.I.C.I.A.L. That should raise a Red Flag right there. Saccharin is hundreds of time sweeter than sugar. Doesn’t that make you wonder, “WTF???”
Saccharin was discovered accidentally in 1879 by some Jewish researchers at Johns Hopkins University. They were experimenting with toluene and discovered its sweetness while eating shortly thereafter–they had not washed it all off their hands.
Toluene (aka methylbenzene, phenylmethane, and methylbenzol ……mmmm, yummy) is a clear chemical found in nature in a type of balsam tree called the tolu balsam. But there aren’t enough tolu balsam trees to satisfy world demand. That’s OK, because it’s also found in …………. CRUDE OIL. In addition to making fake sugar it is also used an additive in such products as nail polish, cigarettes, gasoline, dyes, perfume, explosives, paints and thinners, adhesives, and other manufactured goods. And if that doesn’t scare the Bejeebus out of you, then nothing will. Enjoy!
If you want a sugar substitute may I suggest something 100% real and natural? OK. Raw Honey, the nectar of the gods.
Stucky says:
“Further absolute proof chocolate is good for you.”
Hmm, how did you get a pic of my wife, the sexy mulatta?
“Hmm, how did you get a pic of my wife, the sexy mulatta?” ———– EL GORDO
I can’t disclose “how”. But, I can tell you “when”. It was last night.