New Employee Finally Around Long Enough To Be Deemed Incompetent
ST. LOUIS—More than a month into his employment at Archmont Insurance, colleagues of account manager Martin Wallace told reporters Tuesday they can now definitively state that the 30-year-old’s constant errors and general carelessness on work projects is a product of sheer personal ineptitude and not a lack of experience. “At first I thought he was misfiling claims forms and botching PowerPoint slides because he was still learning the ropes around here, but at this point it seems pretty clear that he’s actually an imbecile who’s simply too dumb to understand what he’s doing at all,” colleague Diane Kendrick said after Wallace’s fifth straight week of incorrectly calculating insurance quotes, screwing up Excel spreadsheets, and showing up to meetings having read the wrong documents. “I suppose there’s a chance he’s just a really slow learner who’s still figuring out our company’s unique procedures and timetables, though that’s hard to believe because he really hasn’t improved at all since day one. The more likely explanation is that Martin’s just a huge idiot.” Kendrick stated that Wallace should not worry about losing his job anytime soon, however, as the company’s management is even less competent and observant than he is.
Via The Onion
Thought this was going to be about a new HHS director.
Me too, Card. So, the website “glitches” have been fixed, the enrollment met-excuse me “exceeded”- predictions, and all is well on the Obamacare front. Really-NPR said so. So why should Sebelius quit now? Methinks at least one rat senses a sinking ship.