Fortune Cookies Eat S**t

So, the little woman and I headed out this chilly afternoon in Tucson to see the movie, “The Big Short.” Good flick. Too bad that probably less than 1% of the people understand what the hell happened when the housing bubble collapsed, and a large segment of that 1% are TBP visitors.

Oh well, after the flick, we headed off to Pei Wei for a touch of Oriental cuisine. To throw in a Facebook comment (picture not included), my spicy sesame shrimp over noodles was quite tasty. Better than that chicken lettuce wrap rabbit food my wife ordered. She kept picking at my dish, which tells you something.

Then there was the fortune cookies. My main squeeze’s read, “Your financial fortune in the future is very bright.” And mine read, “Your relationship with family and friends will greatly improve in the coming weeks.” Somehow, the Queen of the SSS Household interpreted all that to mean, “Buy a Powerball ticket.”

While we both quit gambling 20 years ago (she slots, me blackjack), off we go at her urging to the nearest convenience store to buy 5 Powerball lines. 10 bucks for 5 lines of 6 numbers each, for 60 total numbers. We hit exactly 2 numbers out of 60 possible in all 5 lines. TWO.

WTF are the odds that the computer can pick only 3% winning numbers out of 60? About the same as the folks who saw the freaking housing scandal on Wall Street and bet against it. The very few won. Millions of others lost.

Never trust a fortune cookie.