by Uncola via TheBurningPlatform.com
Washington (AP) – In the wake of terror attacks throughout Europe, including the March 2017 ISIS assault on the Parliament building in London, many Americans believed it could never happen here. They were wrong.
In a series of attacks yesterday, portions of Honolulu, Seattle, and Chicago have been cordoned off until authorities have finished collecting evidence.
In Honolulu, the motive of Mohammad Awad Basara, a British-born Mexican national, is still unknown. At approximately 7:30 PM Aleutian Standard Time, Basara drove a stolen dune buggy at high speeds across Waikiki Beach killing three people and injuring dozens.
In Seattle, authorities are engaged in a statewide manhunt for Mohammad Hadad Totah, an undocumented white male from New York City, who is described as having tan skin. At 2:42 PM Pacific Time, Totah used a rusty machete to violently attack a gathering of young girls at Northgate Mall who received a Tweet that Snoop Dog was there filming a music video for his new hit song, “Nazi Trumpa Lumpa Bing Bang Bitch”. Seven girls were killed and 14 were injured, including three with permanently disfiguring facial wounds.
In Chicago, at 11:52 AM Central Time, Mohammad Antar Almasi, a French Nationalist visiting from Paris who recently lived in Syria, detonated a series of homemade explosive devices throughout Chicago’s Millennium Park and surrounding areas. Seven people were killed, including a toddler and a baby while 23 are being treated for injuries. At this time authorities refuse to speculate on any possible motive.
This morning, FBI Director, James Comey, held a press conference and assured the nation that none of the violence in all three cities was related. According to Comey: “Yesterday’s three separate circumstances of horrific bloodshed appeared to be the result of lone wolf attacks by adherents to nationalist ideologies.”
Although various white supremacists in the Alt-Right movement are using yesterday’s attacks to spread false narratives on Fake News websites, the actual investigations still remain under way.
Senator Rand Paul, of Kentucky, held a press conference at Noon today and spoke regarding the irony of the attacks in Hawaii and Washington as states where federal judges countermanded President Donald Trump’s initial executive orders on immigration earlier this year.
Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), the House Intelligence Committee’s ranking Democrat, voiced frustration on Wednesday over Trump’s national security leaks throughout all 16 Intelligence Agencies and alluded that Russia may even have played some role in the attacks. Before an emergency meeting of the Intelligence Committee, Schiff asked reporters: “If America burns, who benefits?” before adding: “Vladimir Putin, that’s who”.
According to the New York Times:
We don’t know yet what unfolded, and raw intelligence is often wrong. But the issue cries out for a careful, public and bipartisan investigation by an independent commission.
Historian Douglas Brinkley has also told the Washington Post: “There’s a smell of treason in the air”.
Authorities in Honolulu, Seattle, and Chicago are advising residents to avoid areas where the attacks took place and to monitor the local news for updates.
I just googled each of the terrorists’ names, as well as the locations and dates of these reported attacks. I could not find anything anywhere on the entire internet reporting on any of these three reported attacks. Can you provide any available linkage to these three reports? TIA!
I tried to embed the links, but since they are from the future, it will take a while for us to propagate into that time. It could be “tomorrow” maybe?
I live in Chicago. What are you talking about?
To: uncola
Your strident snark is duly noted.
Your clear note of SARCASM is woefully absent.
This screed is truly pointless.
WTF? Say what you mean, dumbass. More clearly this time.
You fucking krauts have no sense of humor.
Good thing Stuck isn’t here to see that insensitive reference to America’s largest ethnic group.
Given the e-mails from my own blog and the comment stream here on this post, I went ahead and added the following disclaimer at the top:
(NOTE TO READERS: SOME OF THE FOLLOWING IS SATIRE)
I learned a good lesson this time. Will be more cautious in the future. T’was VERY interesting to say the least. I kinda feel like Orson Wells right now; except, instead of “War of the Worlds” it was more like “Where Were the Words”.
People want disclaimers? Fine.*
*IMPORTANT: This comment is intended for the use of the Red-Pilled readers only and may contain information that is unsuitable for people from Germany or overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational beliefs. No Muslims or Snowflakes were harmed by the broadcast of this post. Those of you with an overwhelming predilection for conspiracy, or gullibility, will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backward except for one minor edict that subconsciously instructs you to serve the Jews in accordance to specific guidelines as decreed by the Elders of Zion. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you or your pets. If you were offended by this post, and/or any of the ensuing commentary, you’re welcome.
They love you, they hate you…it goes with the territory. You are an outstanding writer, perhaps on your way to being a great writer. Try not to let either the accolades or the brick bats mess too much with your head. If they love you every time, you’re pandering, and if they hate you every time, consider a different line of work. When it’s too one-sided either way, I pull out my well-worn copy of “A Choice of Kipling’s Verse” and read “If.”
…If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same
Very cool advice. Thank you, Robert.
With practice, I do (one day) hope to achieve your (and Admin’s, and Hardscrabble’s) level of compendiary eloquence.
I would like to, at least once, really take my time on an essay, but I always seem to “make haste” in order to keep up with the news because new headlines keep breaking so quickly of late.
In any case, I was glad to see your most recent (and most “Useful’) piece go viral last week on both Zero Hedge and Lou Rockwell. Great work.
Thanks.
Okay, this has nothing to do with nothing, but I know everyone needs a good bullshit response. Admin, can this be the OFFICIAL TBP Bullshit Flag?
The Man with No Name could code the gif in somehow with a macro or micro or whatever those windtalkers codeinto. (Yes, it is late and I’m waiting for a huge album of photos to down load.)
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LOL!
Can you give a heads-up next time it’s fiction? I was about to send this to other people when saw it’s “in the future.” Since there’s already an “Onion,” maybe yours can be a Scallion.
There was a time when a leaping frog in the hills of Calaveras County, written by a guy from Hannibal, Missouri, taught a lot of people a thing or two about jumping to confusion.
And he showed me how to pace a paragraph with a cadence found only in nature. Barummm, barume, brum. bzzzzzz.
And how to soothe the tone with mental sounds.
Thanks for offering alternate perpective. I always feel like people should turn the hell around and look back down the path of HISTORY to see the future staring right at them. So, I gets it, Unheralded. You are a real craftsman, a talented and savvy Unidentified Fishy Object. I like your willingness to do what aspiring writers must be willing to do… open up that vein and bleed out your lifesblood onto the keyboard or page, enraged when the tone calls for it and saddened at another turn, but thrilled when your point hits home and …. Well, writing really is rewarding if you have a nice desk.
As for the critics and their opinions? Everyone has one… you should consider an Essiac Cleanse to rid yours of contaminants. It worked for me.
Haven’t you figured out EVERYTHING is fiction?
I read this Easter weekend 1999 because I noticed the guy with the accent who spoke to my International Law and Diplomacy class in grad school had the book listed as a “project” he worked on on his brochure the OU professor handed out. I think they call those things Vitae or something pompous like that?
Well, I read the book and “got it.” Kissinger tells some good stories about Reagan. He was a very good observer of human nature and he realized when Reagan began to slip and took advantage, I believe. MY OWN OPINION while I’m entitled.
Which may not be long, friends at TBP. I’ve been “contacted” by the Family of Families underground network.
More to come, I hope.
http://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Diplomacy/Henry-Kissinger/9780671510992#
It’s called satire –holy crap, unlike the 14 year old girl who was gang-raped on Facebook live by 4 illegal guatamalans or the 5 dead in London by another follower of allah the bloodthirsty, or the 4 dead in Wisconsin by the “race/religion unreported.” The incidents in the story are a sort of predictive-satire, and I’m willing to bet, will be unfortunately, very accurate.
Holy shit, I hope that’s just some new flavor of irony or sarcasm so dry and subtle, even my finely-tuned equipment couldn’t detect it. Otherwise, you need to look up my ebay auction of the Brooklyn Bridge…
This is fake news. A complete fabrication. Why does this web page publish things like this?
Idiots abound.
It’s people like this douche who think Orwell’s Animal Farm was about animals.
This post seems to have brought a few gems out of the woodwork.
You are gonna LOVE my “Chubby Bunny Farms series about my attempts to get bunnies to live with chickens and ending up with snitches in ditches who gossip to things that rhyme.” That phrase is being copyrighted to Maggie Garoo and Molly McGhee, both of whom may or may not write children’s books for a certain trust which may or may not be willing to pay her for her stupid bunny tales (sans the slaughter of innocent bunnies.)
Bumbling? I think not. He a is a jew loving zionist just following the orders of his zionist jew buddies
that placed him in that office. The more things change,,,,
Jack Lovett could do infomercials on self-hypnosis or pitching one-track minds.
Truth.
you guys all quit voting or commenting on jack’s posts–every time you do he pulls out his picture of eva braun,pumps up his shriveled cock and masturbates–
How do you know?
Admin told me–
Probably works for NSA.
Stucky? Did you move to Tampa?
Great article. Remember the scum who are trying to hobble Trump at every turn. A lesser man would have given up by now but he is not a lesser man. These bastards will pay for their treason.
I see what you did there. Three terrorist attacks and they’re all Trump’s fault. Very subtle future news showing that according to the msm everything is Trump’s fault. Subtle. Too subtle for some, apparently.
Jack Lovett is right most of the time you idiot. Especially about hostile Jews and the treasonous Anglo-Saxon that are enslaved to them.
I could find nothing on the Internet or the news channels.We all know these Muslims are going to have to be removed from this nation .One way or another.
Jeez loueeze, BB. The article is satire. Please don’t make me scale back my game just when I’m really starting to have some fun.
.. no need to apologize uncola… too funny.. it appears that bb’s sensibilities are as tender as his hernia….
I’ve had three hernia repairs, you big baby men. Get over it. The USAF surgeons hacked me up so bad I told my poor husband we didn’t have to worry about birth control; too much scar tissue. One year and two months later, my son was born. Then, the remaining ovary ruptured while I was driving and when I was laying there dying, a cop waved to me on the roadside when I waved to him as he drove by. Finally, my friend who was watching my son came looking for me and got me to the hospital where my blood pressure was 60/40 and FALLING and the doctors told my friend to get that kid out of here right this second. They knew I was dying on the spot.
The story of my survival is interesting and DOCUMENTED. Think about Buying it or at least following excerpts about my experiences with the Veterans Administration following my father’s piss poor care after being a Prisoner of War in Japan for three and one half years from age 19 to 23. If you don’t think growing up the daughter of a man plagued by PTSD induced phobias and headaches taught me a LOT about the evil the powers that be do to our young men and women in uniform, then you haven’t followed my Jeremiah-like rantings here on TBP for years. I seem to attract the really quiet, dangerously and sneakily clever minds like EC and Jellyfish and RiNS but don’t Repeat and Unnamed but Unnecessary in a goldfish bowl like TBP, where we may not know your name, but we know your “MONIKER.” LOL
I think Admin has assembled the best hope for Samuel Adams’ Committees of Correspondence to be be reborn in cyberworld I’ve seen. I have been part of several private networks but this little platform for promoting the free exchange of ideas, is well written and put together with some semblance of purpose* is a real tribute to someone’s hopes to find a group of people who didn’t necessarily agree with one another and even might not LIKE one another but come to RESPECT one another. Good job, JQ and the woman behind the man… (My Aunt’s favorite Calligraphy Quote was/is “Behind every man is a great woman…telling him he is wrong.” It is the Proverbs 31 woman.)
So, talk amongst yourselves while I meet with a state historical society club today and talk about some interesting discoveries on my land.
*I’m sorry, but Gertrude Stein’s drivel where she writes an entire novel using only one capital letter and one period is just dumb. That ain’t artistic. Us editors call that LAZY and STUPID.
I am a UK citizen, occasionally visiting this site. I don’t usually feel qualified to join in, but I always enjoy the writing and comments here. There is something about the way you people write that is completely inimitable – sometimes it’s as though you’re saying things out the corner of your mouth, while facing into the wind and staring at the horizon through screwed-up eyes. Cadences carry, even through the written word, at least when it is carrying honesty in its voice.
Now I’ll just butt out and leave you good people to it.
Thank you, Stuart. I think?
Actually, I hope you stick around. This site could use an Englishman named Stuart.
At, this, I would introduce you to El Coyote who is a legal immigrant with Hispanic leanings and, Maggie, who is a military veteran that has now taken up homesteading full time.
I will say that both can be very wise but be careful not to let them digress into certain topics such as Thalidomide and flippers and such.
RiNS & Ed are correct. Just jump in the pond. The water’s fine.
However, beware the Boerboel-breeding Native-American from Australia and the house-jumping, second-generation German transient from New Jersey. You will need to play it straight with these two or pay the price.
Other than that. The coast is clear.
Stuart
Qualifications!
If there was a checklist it is long gone. Besides being a shit throwing monkey only requires a good appetite, some spicy food and an occasional bout of diarrhea. Stick around and chat.
Hey, Stuart. You’re qualified if I am. Now watch somebody jump in to ‘splain how Ed is only qualified to read and for me to STFU, but anyways….
Oh yeah. Just one final thing. If you run across a mountain-dwelling, maple-syrup-selling, hog-farmer and if he starts ranting regarding movie directors and moon landings, just politely change the subject to something more innocuous, like global warming or something like that.
Get it? Got it? Good!
Stuart
Welcome, If you can make any sense of this place you will be the first. We interact more as a family which lacks the “stiff upper lip” formality you are used to.
These are the best commentors on the interwebs in between the slug fests, ENJOY!
Which reminds me that I ain’t slugged you lately, Bea. Hold still, now.
disappointed in the comments, seven dead ? never read peoples cube. who would be surprised if this portends our future.
Even though I thought your piece was a satire I had to check Just to be sure. However it would not surprise me in the least if something like this happened and the msm completely ignored it. Funny how it is always Putins fault, kind of like ‘its for the children.’
I thought it was supposed to be Trump’s fault. Oh, that’s right, he works with Putin.
(Satire, in case you’re dense.)
Uncola based on the comments you appear to be operating way over this crowds collective head. Nice work!
I said the same about this literal minded flat-earth society in Yohimbo’s Could This Possibly Be True? article, it was a great comment by the way, just fantastic.
It was screechingly obvious when he wrote about the dual citizenship British-born Mexican national. You should have caught on but then your so conditioned by Yohimbo articles to react before thinking that I can almost say, it’s not your fault.
I actually stop and noted that description of the British-born Mexican national but just thought, “I guess there’s all kinds of immigrants today.”
And In Future Real News
American families have filed for banruptcy more in the first year of Trump’s presidency than any other time in the history of America. Experts say that extremely high healthcare premiums and Trump’s failure to reform the system in order to bring down costs was the real reason for collapsing households.
Anger grew among Americans who lost homes and sufered broken families pointed out that mooslims and non -working blacks continued to receive FREE healthcare during the past year.
John T. Trumpeteer said, “we just couldn’t keep paying $1000 a month for healthcare, it finally just broke us”.
If BB is right, then we can see even further into the future:
“In other news today, President Elizabeth Warren and Vice President Joe Biden appeared on Capital Hill today to show they took their “20-20 Vision” campaign platform seriously…”
Unfortunately ,you dirt bag .I thought something was a miss.I went straight to Drudge Repor
t . Nothing.Then several other sites.Nothing .Then Fox and then Russia today.Nothing.
I going have to keep my eyes on you .But what I said about Muslims still stands and Mr.Lovett is right about hostile alien elite Jews undermining our nation through the use of white traitors in the media.Got that Meathead!!! Peace out you are still going to pay for my retirement .So stop fucking off and get back to work.
Just more “fake news”. My bad.
Now you know why BB is TBP’s Official Village Idiot.
Great post, BB. Made me laugh.
And by the way, we both read the same news, but add in Lew Rockwell for my part.
Obama’s imports blew up 50 nuclear power plants, destroyed the grid, poisoned the water supplies, raped the women, and beheaded the men. Read all about it in Rev 18.
good article but please disclose at the outset that you are joking-
my 5 year old read this and is concerned that his cisgendered girlfriend who is on vacation in hawaii might be hurt-
think b4 you hit send man-
As I now realize this article is obviously satire, YOU SHOULD HAVE STATED THAT AT THE OUTSET. Some of us, myself included, actually take news seriously, and attempt to verify such reports.
Stop acting like a progressive.
Fred- Stop picking at Uncolloidal, he is having a hard time with his suppressed thoughts about tRUMP. He is doing a fantastic job here, give him a break. 🙂
I’m sorry, but for me, satire is a waste of time. I never read it if I know in advance it’s satire. If my time wasn’t so limited, it would be OK. I usually read news so I know what’s going on, sometimes just reading headlines and not the content. That’s why I can’t comment on this site as much as I would like, time is too limited.
@ TampaRed & Fred – I really thought the dune buggy on Waikiki Beach and the name of the Snoop Dog song were dead giveaways (pardon the pun).
Perhaps truth really is stranger than fiction.
BTW- I am not making light of what happened in London. On the contrary. I want people to consider the reality of it all. This is why I chose NOT to (potentially) mitigate the overall impact of the piece with a disclaimer in advance.
EDIT: At the very least, I may have discovered that I might be able to get hired by the Associated Press (if they’d have me). Na, scratch that. Not interested.
i got it & i suspect fred did too–
it was a nice song title–put a few words to it with a tune & send it to him,maybe he’ll record it–
I don’t know any hip-hop songs so that wasn’t a giveaway for me. And I’ve never been to Hawaii so I don’t know if dune buggies are allowed or not.
Given I live in the Socialist State of Hawaii, I only made it as far as the Honolulu “attack” and after a moment of confusion, realized it was near-future satire. No way anything like that could have escaped my radar, even though I never listen to MSM in any form. Holy shit! Those attacks would have been at the top of every feed in the alt-press as well.
And while there is still much aloha, and the concept of “malama pono” (caring for eachother) still lives here, it is fading, fast.
I used to say that living in rural Hawaii was a lot like Cali in the ’50s – no one locked their cars or doors, and no one ever worried about where their kids were playing outdoors. Now, a lot of working parents still drop their kids off at the beach to spend off-school days, and I still live in a house that cannot be locked – but now I find myself saying that it seems more like Cali in the late ’60s or early ’70s. Things have changed, and there is a palpable sense of tension that never used to be present.
No one feels as safe here, any more. It’s a helluva lot better than most places on the continent, but dark clouds gather, and there is a storm on the horizon.
Maybe because Zuckerberg moved there. He brought the hostility with him.
Yep. Fortunately, he built his awful lava rock wall on Kauai, which is not my Island.
Kauai = Zuckerberg
Lanai = Larry Ellison (97% of the entire Island!)
Maui = Oprah
Island of Hawaii = Michael Dell
The elites like the weather here, and they certainly like to have servants, so they will probably keep Hawaii out of the worst of the coming storms. Or, maybe they’ll just clean out the riff-raff, and bring in their own servants.
And on the American terrorism front, US strikes on Mosul actually killed 230 civilians overnight and US strikes in Syrian killed 33 at a school. We can put up all the walls we want, impose all the bans we want, destroy all the freedoms Americans have left if we want, but until will stop butchering innocents all over the middle east, stop imposing our will upon foreign countries and foreign governments at the point of a gun, stop meddling in the affairs, elections, monetary systems, natural resource allocations, etc. we will NEVER stop pissing people off enough to want to do the US harm. How is that so hard to understand. You may not like the behavior or the reaction of the hornet, but if you keep poking at its nest it eventually is going to come after you – and likely bring LOTS of its fellow hornets with him. We have been poking and poking and poking the middle east since at least the early 1900s. They don’t hate us because we are free. We stopped being free a long time ago.
— “…but if you keep poking at its nest it eventually is going to come after you – and likely bring LOTS of its fellow hornets with him.”
I’m not poking at the nest. I’ve never once spoken in favor of those who are.
What now?
Then you need to speak out against the actions of “your” government that are being done IN YOUR NAME (whether you asked for them or not). I am in the same boat as you as are hundreds of thousands if not millions of Americans. We didn’t ask for the invasion and occupation of the middle east…we simply need fuel to heat our homes and run our cars. The GOVERNMENT, on behalf of those who control the oil industry, decided that OIL would be our only source and that all others would never stand a chance in the marketplace thanks to free military security for their Middle East investments, other subsidies and government handouts, etc. all of which have kept the price of oil far below REAL costs (which have all been socialized). No other alternatives could compete in the face of these lower costs. But you and I and most Americans don’t care if peeing in our tanks would get us from point A to point B. Big OIL however cares very much, and controlling the government and the government’s military DUPES has given them quite a lot of leverage. SPEAK OUT – as much against the military and their role in all of this (which has nothing to do with DEFENSE), and against BOTH the republicans and the democrats who vote to enable all of this bloodshed and misery.
Speak out to who? One of my Senators is Lindsey Graham, the pansy warmonger. Do you think he listens?
When I used to contact him in the past, I got the same robo-letter after each contact that started out, “You and I may not agree on issues…”
Speak out to your friends and neighbors. They are the ones who keep re-electing Mr. Graham. Additionally, this is about changing the mindset of everyone, NOT just changing the face of the puppet being controlled via their position in the House and Senate. When a mindset change happens among the populace, the world/country changes, regardless of the faces of the politicians. It has ALWAYS worked that way. Graham is being paid off to hate freedom and he inherently hates freedom. Your neighbors and friends on the other hand likely just don’t understand that what is being shoved up by the political class and government in general is the OPPOSITE of freedom.
I have you retard. For Decades.
To echo BL’s sentiments, I weep for the morans on this site. If you didn’t know there is no such thing as Aleutian Standard Time, I wonder how you obvious Thalidomide survivors can comment here using your flippers.
Holy Shit EC- That was funny as hell in a sick and demented way.
When I read news, I usually skim the article and don’t pay attention to every word and sentence. I just want the basics. As I said, time is limited.
Exactly EC as soon as I read Aleutian Standard Time I knew uncola was just working to get a rise. Those wanting warning labels are bigger hyprocrites than a vegan, pro-choice NeoCon.
Look right now in Ontario they are staging Provincial Parks and spending millions of dollars to make them look better for the tourists.
Especially you Yanks!
From the CBC….
With 334 provincial parks and 295 conservation reserves, Ontario is a nature lover’s dream come true. It’s no wonder, then, that many Ontarians reacted angrily to last week’s news that Ontario’s Ministry of Natural Resources had installed artificial trees and AstroTurf in several provincial parks……
http://www.cbc.ca/radio/popup/audio/listen.html?autoPlay=true&mediaIds=2695862773
Breaking news: Unsadly, one of our own has been killed. An Amazon drone in the middle of delivering a sack of potting soil lost elevation slowly then all at once over the head of Uncola while he/it was signing autographs. His remarkably sharply hideously pointy head failed to save him from the high irony content of the bullshit in the potting soil. A silent moment, please. Peace, Uncola, and may your sublime death become life for daisies everywhere and even for the “moran” El Coyote.
Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
Alas, poor Undead! I knew him, Michael: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
tickled my funny-bone a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my mind boggles at
it. Here hung those quips that I have re-posted I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
g-nites? your monikers? your stories of rapefugees,
that were wont to set the platform on a roar? Not one
now, to grasp your own satire? quite chap-fallen?
Wonderful! Who needs Shakespeare when you have El Coyote.
Of George Washington became president in the last election. All he could do is watch America burn. In fact he would probably just ignite the last stick of explosives. We are one big mess
Great satire! Funny, I was irritated when I saw the headline. I thought, “Oh great, another article bashing Trump…” Then I started reading. You perfectly captured the hysterical anti-Trump bias. Probably, that’s why some readers missed the fact that it was satire, because today’s MSM and lefties (but I repeat myself) are nearly as unhinged in real life.
My favorite line: “Authorities are engaged in a statewide manhunt for Mohammad Hadad Totah, an undocumented white male from New York City, who is described as having tan skin.” LOL!
Actually, that sounded real because some MSM are actually doing things like that, calling Hispanics white, such as George Zimmerman. Some don’t give race at all in a description.
So true! That’s part of what made it so funny. These days, the “real” news reads like “The Onion.”
Victoria’s Secret, we were taught in grade school to respond to race questions by marking the correct box: White.
It was a way of pretending that black kids were integrated with us ‘whites’ in school. Also, Hispanic is not a race so it is quite proper to modify it with terms like white, black, gay (although who ever heard of a gay Hispanic; we’re muy macho) and even snarky.
Vic
Watch out for EC, he is the shameless pick-up artist of the TBP community. He will charm your socks off and toy with your emotions.
Your emotions maybe, fag.
Ratdawg-Vic is a female ya moron.
Moran to you, fag.
OK Ratdawg, have it your way…..ya moran fag.
I’m just messing with you. Knob Creek makes me ornery at times.
FINALLY! Somebody gets me. My twisted sense of humor, that is.
Uncola
I thought it was great. It was fantastic example of what Scott Adams has been writing about for months. The title was triggering. Persuasion in action. Excellent!
Fools don’t mind farce fact free. They just don’t like being laughed at after jumping off the cliff of their conclusions once all the fools rush in.
Please don’t warn that you are writing satire uncola. If you do that then what is that point. Besides most of those complaining likely can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a fork anyways.
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To get a headstart on the dogpile of me for writing this comment I just want to be clear that I have been a fool myself. Learned the hard way it is better to just say “yeah ya got me good” and a be a good sport. Realizing there is always a next year for making sure that the April fools won’t be me.
The haters can tell me to piss off
But I still love them anyways
It is why I love this place.
Cause
Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can’t typing in a place like this
Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?
If I can’t type in a place like this
Like a river flows shorely to the sea
Darling so it goes some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
But if I can’t help trolling in a place like this
Like a river flows shorely to the sea
Darling so it goes some things are meant to be
Take my hand take my whole life too
For I can’t help trolling in a place like this
For I can’t help trolling in a place like this
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rins,the summons is in the mail,along w/the cease & desist.
Because poor John rushed in
Just like the river flows
Slowly to the sea
I just can’t help myself cause
Some twits were meant to be
On your way out the door
John blow us a kiss
Cause I can’t help trolling
A dumbfuck like poor Johnnie
Thank you very much!
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Rob, are you an Elvis impersonator? Please submit video for constructive (cruel) criticism.
Not a bad ideea. I actually thought I might do a jewtoobe video. Show my chops. Sorta speak..
Stay tuned!
This is bullsh%t. We don’t need “satire” like this on such a great web page. With all the brouhaha over “fake news” why even publish such a poorly written piece on such a great web page? The article makes absolutely no sense at all, and fails to make any point. It should be deleted. We have enough “real” news to deal with every day. Moron writer.
Fuck you. Delete yourself and shut the fuck up.
Beware a triggered Snowflake.
John (@ March 25, 2017 at 8:00 am) says:
John,
I would remind you that the terrorist attack in London last week is (ongoing) real news. The rest of the above piece is simple extrapolation; and a warning.
Her: “What ya doing Hon?”
Me: “Reading the dumb comments on TBP.”
Her: “Are they good?”
Me: “If you like dumb”
Her: ” Well, you like dumb.”
Me: “Thanks Hon, you know me so well.”
Her: “Babe, will you get me some napkins out of the apocalypse storage?”
Me: “The all white ones or the one with the red and blue balloons?”
Wilburforce, that was a funny comment, you have potential.
Breakfast Club update:. All three of my Saturday morning dining friends cancelled on me today.
Good for you, Unc. Have a cigar to celebrate. Fuck’em and feed’em fish heads.
after that article,would you want to be seen in public with you?
invite them to your place and Order the woman to scramble some ostrich eggs-
and serve rye bread with those eggs-
Two old guys, one 84 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench .
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.
The 84 year old was amazed at his friend’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 year old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”
So, on the way home the 84 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said “Do you have any Rye bread?”
She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”
He said, “I want 5 loaves.”
She said, “My goodness, 5 loaves … By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it’ll be hard”
He replied, “I can’t believe it! Everybody knows about this crap but me.”
Did they read the article?
I know two of them have read my blog (the RHINO & 30-something lib) in the past and I have sent TBP links to the RHINO before, but I am unsure if they did, in fact, read my “breakfast” essay. I wasn’t going to promote it to them, but if they did view it at some point, great. I would enjoy continuing the discussion.
I did speak to the two forty-something friends on Thursday and when the lib one started laughing about Trump’s doomed Obamacare repeal & replace, I said it appeared to be the fault the “obstructionist Democrats” and, “possibly the Russians”, but he didn’t seem to hear me. When I mentioned the London attacks, my “White Privilege Whisperer” RHINO friend gave me a look, but didn’t say anything.
My policy is to never bring up politics first with family or friends. But, if someone else brings it up, then I have every right to calmly express my views. If they don’t like it and/or decide to “flush” me, well, that is an “unmanageable” for me and I will (rarely/barely) even give it a second thought.
Today, I had brunch with one of my Barry-bitching, Hillary-bashing, boisterously barbaric buddies instead. It was great. We even laughed a few times about trivial shit until we had tears in our eyes.
EDIT: To be fair, it is possible that all three dudes, truly, had other things to do today. We have canceled before, although it isn’t very often that at least 2 of us won’t still get together. But it has happened in the past. We’ll see what takes place next week.
Uncanny- It will all work out in the end, or not.
OMG, I am beginning to sound like Starschmucker………sigh.
BL, is that a subtle allusion to the uncanned fish?
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Thanks Bea.
No problemo, Uncolated. 🙂
How is that yellow brick road to Kansas today.
How aboot dem Ducks!
Rins- Ducks spanked the Jhawks with ease. Go Ducks! Who do you pick in the KY/UNC match-up?
UNC if Duke hadn’t a shit the Bed I might have had a chance of winning this. Currently ranked 184. Too funny a Canuck brought up on pablum of hockey and now hooked on college basketball.
Good game last night. Bell was a beast! Hope they can keep it going. I really didn’t think Duck would win. Kansas had looked unstoppable.