WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

I hope that thing is a Delorean in disguise because I’m pretty sure you have to go back to like 2003 to get the OG Milf Hunter.

Don’t judge Santa when you know damn well you’ll find yourself at Walmart in the next few days doing some last minute Christmas shopping yourself.

Let me tell you a little something about Southern Santa. He doesn’t do velour pants. It’s hot as hell and comfort is king.

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That feeling when you wake up on Christmas Day and watch A Christmas Story for 24 straight hours.

You laugh until I show the ladies my Pussy Wagon…Who’s SMART now?

The family that jammies together stay together…because it’s tough to get lost when you’re coordinated. Fun tip there.

I’m sure this is the next cutesie family that will go viral making a bunch of YouTube videos with their kids doing karaoke in the car or something like that. #SquadGoals

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Okay (1) Decent pun there. Totes ma goats. Well played. (2) Now is as good as time as any to vent my frustration for the sudden overuse of the acronym GOAT or Greatest of All Time. You want to put it on Brady, whatever go for it. But since the Super Bowl I feel like every sports team is tossing GOAT around to anyone and everyone. You get 1 per sport, league-wide. That’s it. Brady, Jordan, Gretzky, Ruth. Done.

Excuse me miss, you’re ass is way to symmetrical to be shopping at Walmart. Tell your photographer to take you somewhere more realistic.

And the award for weirdest normal party but coolest college party goes to…

I feel like if you’re riding around with some crazy stuff written on your car you need to leave an explanation note for the rest of us. Did you cheat on someone? Did you piss off the wrong person? I need some background.

Why is it guys who dress as women try wear things that women don’t even bother wearing? Like there’s no reason to go that far over the top. We get it.