VATICAN CITY—In his first public statement on the horrifying, devastating report on sexual abuse within the Catholic Church, Pope Francis stated he would address the controversy in detail once he’s done talking about climate change for a few more weeks.
The head of the Roman Catholic Church claimed he is deeply concerned with the tragic report, but is “just too swamped” with work fighting climate change, criticizing capitalism, and advocating for other issues of social justice to talk about the repulsive report at the moment.
“Rest assured, once I have exhausted my talking points on the need for government policies to crack down on their carbon footprints, we’ll start looking this report over,” he said. “Then I’ll be sure to make a statement on it. We just didn’t want to jump to conclusions too early, something that we’re not concerned about with man-made climate change. Just with this.”
The Vatican vowed to launch a full investigation on the matter just as soon as it could, but it would have to wait until Western countries reduce their carbon emissions another 15%. “This is by far the most pressing issue facing the Church of Jesus Christ right now,” the College of Cardinals said in a statement.
In other words “Eff you, I ain’t goin nowheres!” Not sure how you say that in Italian, or maybe he would say it in Spannish?
He will stall and hope this slips back under the rug. I think there’s plenty of Catholics that might beg to differ but we will see.
Even if many Catholics do beg to differ, what are they going to do? It’s a principality. They have no voice in the matter. All they can do is close their wallets and if brave enough (which they’re not) walk out of the place. They’ll just sit and stew, letting their blood pressure get to 200+, having strokes.
Yes, unfortunately you are correct. My wife and inlaws still go to catholic church. Pretty sure her family still gives them money, too. I don’t ask and don’t want to know because thats just not a discussion im interested in having with any of them anymore. If they haven’t figured it out yet, there’s no point in expending any further time or energy on it. I think, maybe, if it happened to one of the kids in our family they would realize the entire institution is rotten to the core, but thats probably just wishful thinking too. Thats how deep into this shit they are. Very conservative people, but still lvoe the church and that fucking communist thats in charge of it. Last time they came to visit from out of state my mother law was reading one of his books. It was all I could do not to knock it off my coffee table and tell her to get it the fuck out of my house.
While there is plenty reason to bash this disgusting piece of human debris masquerading as Pope, this quote is not one of them. It appears he never said this. Note that there is no attribution to a source nor any reporting anywhere else on this quote. It’s fake news. Focus your aim on center mass, not on a phantom.
satire dumb dumb
You do realize, don’t you, that this post is from The Babylon Bee, a Christian News SATIRE website?
They publish all sorts of crazy stuff for humor’s sake. The site clearly (in small print) states that everything they post is satire.
My favorite of their posts is an article documenting how a Christian radio station is upping their game by putting NINE songs into the rotation, up from EIGHT songs, which is TWICE THE INDUSTRY STANDARD. Just recounting it makes me laugh every time.
Hyperbolic satire at its finest. LOL
https://babylonbee.com/news/fundamentalist-christian-family-takes-trip-to-see-hoover-darn/
Next this lovely family is headed for Turkmenistan..
Home schooling. Dem kids are sooo lucky..
Sooo, Junior, because it’s satire, you are saying it’s crazy? Not true? There is nothing to see here just move along? Tell me how it’s not true, then. Give me something to research. Because the church of Rome has a long history of covering up scandals . Fuck off.
“I’ll start caring about the decades of sexual abuse of thousands upon thousands of innocent boys and girls as soon as I am done putting my dick in this alter boy’s mouth.”
Judging by the comments at the NYT, libs are perfectly fine with the pope overlooking buggery of boys precisely because he’s been tolerant of buggery between men.
When have you ever seen a Marxist, progressive, liberal (insert whatever you want) voluntarily relinquish power? Only conservatives have scruples. Only conservatives say “oh, I’m sorry, I don’t have the moral authority to lead you.”
I find it to be an interesting pattern. He’s not going anywhere.
And yet, deranged conservative Catholics will twist themselves into pretzels attempting to keep this pure, holy church, which doesn’t exist, as a separate entity to this Pope. Only in your own brainwashed mind is that church pure, I can’t think of anyone more representative of Catholicism than Pope Francis. He’s the living embodiment of what that place is, and you are the outlier. Sorry to break it to you.
Read It and Weep, You Believed In a Lie
Since the Global Warming lie takes precedence over Catholics morality and Souls according to Pope Jerk-off until the West cuts CO2 15%, means Pope a Dope will never get to the homosexuality issue. The Catholic Priests couldn’t save their own Pope from Hell much less themselves. PS: Excommunication and burning pedophiles at the stake is called for, including the Pope.
First things first, eh Popetart?
Go fuck yourself Francis.