YELLOWSTONE, WY—One of the things most affected by the government shutdown is the National Park Service. Not considered essential, some parks have been closed due to the lack of funding. This has been especially devastating to the thousands of bison of Yellowstone who have now been kicked out of the park while it’s closed, forcing them to scrounge for other work while they wait for Congress and the president to resolve their budget issues.
Bison are slow, dull-witted animals and, as a species, lack programming skills, making them unsuited for modern tech jobs. Now that they are no longer receiving government paychecks, they’ve been found roaming nearby towns in Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho looking for odd jobs. A lucky few have found employment as sign twirlers, but most have not been able to translate their job skills—munching grass within sight of tourists—to the private sector. Some have resorted to more desperate measures, leading to tragedy, as reportedly two bison were killed yesterday in a meth lab explosion.
Activists have tried to use the images of the homeless bison to pressure President Trump to sign a budget and end the shutdown, but Trump was unmoved by the pictures, simply exclaiming, “Those ugly cows need haircuts!”
Sadly, the braindead stupidity of government employees might actually lead some to think that these animals and all the rest WOULD actually need to be kicked out of the park because there were no federal employees “looking over them” and “keeping them safe” during the shutdown. Most government employees do honestly think that life itself would cease, were it not for their presence and the presence of government in general.
You know you are living in Bizarroland (and Justin Raimondo would call it) when stories in The Onion and the Babylon Bee, are more accurate than those published by the mainstream media.
Mr. Lib, you missed HF’s tutorial wherein he reveals that a good joke is one where the audience knows or expects the punchline.
The mainstream media publishes stories where the conclusion is not what the reader expects; case in point: homosexual couples, trannies, female legislators are not normal yet the MSM keeps pushing them as if. Therefore, the joke falls flat.
El, is Yokes posting under a new handle? Or have we insulted the boy to the point he took his marbles and went home? I don’t have anything to do, COME BACK YOKES!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6gKe9Fr2ok
I used the word Fuhrer in another comment here, he should be gleefully commenting shortly.
Has anybody here seen my old friend Yokes,
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He pissed off a lotta people, but it seems the boy is done
But I just looked around and he’s gone.
Has anybody here seen my old friend Flea,
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He did a lotta women, but it seems the boy is done
But I just looked around and he’s gone.
Has anybody here seen my old friend NKIT,
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He posted a lotta GIFs, but it seems the boy is done
But I just looked around and he’s gone.
Didn’t you love the things they stood for?
Didn’t they try to find some good for you and me?
And we’ll be free,
Someday soon it’s gonna be one day.
Has anybody here seen my old friend Maggie,
Can you tell me where she’s gone?
I thought I saw her walkin’ up over the hill
With Yobo, Fleabo and ‘Dolph.
sign reading “will trample for food” would make better pic
Tell them to go to Pelosiland where everything is free behind her walls.
Those damn bison need diversity anyways, it’s almost like they are the same color and size. And what is with the patriarchal society of bison ? Calves have the right to choose there own gender as well… tsk tsk, no more government funding for bison until proof of diversity i say. Or more Government funding to help foster a diverse society of bison we can all be proud of, but do something, it’s for the calves.
The misdeed of a Democrat: Mr Bison is a self employed Republican. Mr Democrat, take your sign and hang it on one of the appx 6 million unemployed Democrats.
Federal workers are on strike according to the Fuhrer. He says the wall is our safety net, it will protect us from opioid deaths, suicide and every evil under the sun. Ron Popeil would be so jealous.
I guess leaving the shutdown negotiations to old Mike will give Trump the respite he needs from that Coulter bitch. “It wasn’t me, bitch, it was Mike.”