Hat tip RiNS
Woman to undergo cryogenic freezing to escape Trump’s time in office
It’s fair to say President Trump’s time in the White House has had an impact on everyone, some more than others. We’ve had many brave protesters like Jared Michelle and Heather Gemma Montgomery make noble stands against a corrupt society. However, not everyone can cope in these daunting times. One such example is a courageous woman named Celestia Heart, who has endured horrible suffering under the Trump regime. Now, she has decided to flee it by the most unconventional means: cryogenic freezing.
Celestia lives in Berkeley, California and has spent the past four years protesting against Trump. Before his presidency, it was an every now and again protest but since he stole the election, Celestia has protested every day in defiance against his grip on America’s throat. Sadly, this brave soul has had enough and feels that cryogenic freezing is the best way to free herself from Trump’s America. Celestia will be sent to a lab and frozen by expert scientists. She will remain monitored by them and unfrozen once Trump leaves the White House.
Before she left for the freezing process, NPC Daily reporters met Celestia and her adorable 7 cats at her apartment for a quick statement.
My life has been hell since that orange demon hacked the election with his meddling Russian friends. I can’t sleep at night anymore, I’m just too scared to carry on. Even my husband was corrupted by him, he voted for this dictator and therefore contributed to my suffering. I had no choice but to divorce him and marry my girlfriend, who voted for Hillary. Yes, I’m freezing myself until Trump’s presidency is over. I’m taking a risk with this, it’s expensive and I’m having to sell my cats for the money to get this done but it will be worth it. No more Drumpf for me! Free at last!
- Celestia Heart, Starbucks employee, 27, Berkeley, California.
Celestia hopefully will be frozen only for the next 2 years unless, worst case scenario, Trump is reelected. I feel sick just uttering those words. We applaud Celestia for her fierceness in the face of unrelenting evil and in her honor, we have started the #FreezeAway campaign on Twitter to show solidarity with her decision. Cryogenic freezing might actually be the perfect way to help people struggling to cope in the dark times thrusted upon on us.
So far #FreezeAway has received overwhelmingly positive responses with many celebrities coming out to support Celestia. Here are some of our favourite tweets.
Be sure to keep up with NPC Daily for more of the latest news headlines!
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Chill-out.
Absolutely.
I think this is a great plan. I hear there is underground frozen storage in Antarctica. Or was that on the moon?
Underground frozen storage unit about 300 miles NW of the Bunny Hutch, along the south side of the Kaw inside a Yuge set of limestone caves.
I thought so. We can just stack all the nutjobs there, frozen and ready for when hell freezes over.
We never went to the moon.
But we’ve been to Oklahoma. They say the ladies are insane there….
That made my day.
Perhaps a large portion of antitrumpers will join her .
She is aware no living person has been awakened from the deep freeze . What the hell all you CNN HOSTS & Antifa go for the freeze up . We will do our best yo thaw you out
Don’t be so pessimistic. It’ll work out fine, I promise.
And like Obama promised we will refund them $2500 insavings when and if they come to
When we take them out of the freezer, a group of us could piss all over them to aid the thawing process. Wish it wasn’t just a late April Fool’s story.
This is a joke right?
lol
Who can tell anymore.
Brilliant!!!!!! I have several others from California I would like to suggest be frozen along with her.
You’d be better off writing ABOUT the article instead of just copy and pasting the entire article.
this was supposed to be just funny..
Got it. I have 25,000 page views per day and have just linked to your site with this article. It has one comment on your site and 12 comments here. Do you understand how to promote your site? ZeroHedge has provided me with thousands of viewers because they posted my original articles on their site with a link.
But you don’t have to worry. I won’t post another article from your site. I’ll also gladly delete this post if you say so.
Your 25k page views are just me and the 24 other regulars hitting Refresh a thousand times a day.
Okay NPC
You asked for this.. here it goes
Careful what you wish for around here…
This article showed up in my feed and I laughed out loud reading it. I even retwatted it to my feed. Fucken hilarious this Neville croft, or what ever he is, makes fun of the precious when he is in fact one himself..
So to you NPC Daily or Neville or whatevah.. I will say this.
You can go suck on a bucket of cryogenically frozen dicks in a non-homo, let’s just be friends kinda way. I really really don’t want to offend your sensibilities. And the funniest bit in all this is you are making fun of make believe people when you are one of those same folks in real life..
From NPC Daily:
This entire site is satire.
Just in case you weren’t sure and you were going to send the article as a suggestion to a dear liberal relative.
Why not just drop some acid, stand very still and stare at the devilfish for a year or two? It’ll be over eventually and Melania will put in for a divorce.
Who gives a rats ass??? Let the ugly bitch die and bury her under the Bernie and Pelose toilet of stupid turds.
naturally, she’s a whale….
It was believable up until she said she had a husband.
laughed out loud
Judging from the photo I’d say she’s already frozen from the waist down.
We can just about 50 million of her friends to that too….
So she’s committing suicide because she hates the President.
She should instead commit herself to Belview. Mental case–like all libs.
This is bullshit. Those people won’t even go to Canada let alone freezing themselves.