SAN ANTONIO, TX—A local man was apprehended today while trying to smuggle a delicious Chick-fil-A classic chicken sandwich into San Antonio International Airport.
The man was reportedly acting suspiciously as he approached a TSA checkpoint, looking around nervously and feeling something in his pocket. When he got to the scanners, he was called aside for a check, and sure enough, agents discovered the warm, moist, tender chicken sandwich. He was tackled to the floor and dragged away by force.
Later on, during questioning, the man reportedly claimed he just wanted something to eat on the plane, but investigators weren’t buying it. “It was obvious he wanted to bring hate and discrimination into this place in an act of terror,” said a member of the San Antonio city council. “It’s not ISIS or other extremist groups we need to worry about—it’s Christian sandwiches.”
The TSA was praised for doing its job heroically.
“We’re just doing our jobs,” said a TSA agent at the scene. “We’re not heroes. Any ordinary American would have done the same for us, to ensure the people at this airport are protected from bigoted, hateful, tasty chicken sandwiches.”
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that a TSA agent had confiscated the sandwich and devoured it slowly to ensure there was nothing illicit in the meat.
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
It would be funnier if it were not dangerously close to being real
Smuggling a Bible through TSA nazi checkpoints is immediate beheading nowadays.
You can openly take a Quran anywhere in the West. In the Middle East you’d better be a Muslim in a ritually clean state. My point is, in the name of (((Jesus))), now why is that?
I doubt the TSA agent in charge relished the sandwich nearly as much as he relished the dealing out of yet another cavity search.
This must be a 1st of April joke