By Steve Candidus (Steve C.)
“…Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others…” — Otto von Bismarck (1815 – 1898)
People that grew up in a big family seem to have a different outlook than those that didn’t.
Although my nuclear family consisted of only our parents and four kids, we spent the summers at an old boarding house that was owned by my dad and all of his brothers and sisters (nine in all). There was no heat installed in it so it was just a summer home, but with all of those uncles, aunts, and cousins, it was a zoo.
Not only did it have all of those boarding house rooms, the attic was a huge open space with no finished walls, just the outside boards, and was filled with beds. We kids usually occupied the attic.
As family, we learned to get along. We had to. It was wall-to-wall people. In fact, it carried over even to our individual homes.
I would have a knockdown, drag out fight with my brother, and walk out to the kitchen to get a glass of milk and when I returned I would ask him he wanted to go fishing or something just as if nothing had ever happened. He would answer the same way – sure. Because that’s the way it is in big families. You have your fight and it’s over.
I find that this site is kind of like living in a big family. A good shitfest today and tomorrow we act as if nothing ever happened. At least the smart ones do. Jim provides us with a place where we can express ourselves without censorship or moderation. What a luxury. I was still writing sh**tf**t when I first came here. I love it here.
One of my first articles on TBP was about companies that have non-disclosure agreements for employees that leave the company. Llpoh and I really went at it in the comments. Llpoh beat me like a mule. HSF got in a few shots too as I recall. We are all men of strong feelings and opinions and although we never did agree, we were all able to leave it on that thread. – Big family.
After the dust settled and I licked my wounds, I never looked back or ever gave any of it a second thought. I have commented for and about each of them since then numerous times without any carry over. – Big family.
When I first started posting articles and making comments El Coyote mentored me. To be honest, he can be pretty condescending at times – even downright irritating.
BUT
The fact that he was mentoring me at all told me that he must have seen something good in me and that he wanted for me to be successful here so I accepted his criticisms and more importantly, I took his advice. At least most of the time. I did get in that fight with SSS one night against his advice, but I came out of it ahead I think…
Perhaps the most recent shitfest wasn’t really about big dogs versus newbies, but people that come from big families and those that don’t. You can’t stay mad at someone in this place for very long and expect to survive. – Big family.
I personally don’t care for people posting as anonymous or this doppelganger thing, but you take the good with the bad and it’s Jim’s house so he makes the rules. If I don’t think that I can live with them, I can go and start my own Blog. Truthfully, I don’t dislike them that much, so I live with them and by them. That’s just being a good guest to our good host. – Big family.
Yes, I know, I’ve read all the reasons (excuses) for posting as anonymous, but we are all anonymous here. If protecting your identity is so important then just a make up a name and post consistently as that. You disclose nothing, but it would make following the comments a lot easier.
I won’t even touch on the doppelganger thing.
It’s always good practice to learn from mistakes, but as Bismarck said, only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from other peoples.
So what did I learn from this most recent shitfest?
First and foremost of course is that when you live in a big family you fight and then get over it quickly. – Got that one down.
Second is that El Coyote is more versatile than I had given him credit for. Jim would give the three combatants a warning to knock it off and EC would immediately bait HR. And HR always, and I mean always, took the bait and would go off on one of his tirades. I guess HR never did any boxing. You never fight the other guys fight. Big mistake. – Small family. I learned that I don’t want to get into a dust-up with EC. He’s tricky.
Stucky is another that loves to bait people. He baited me one time on an article that I wrote on my birthday that was actually about abortion and some fun suggestions about how to combat it with those that support it. I wrote it in a sort of a Dave Barry kind of humor. It didn’t go over well for reasons that still escape me, but Stucky did one of his crazy number things where he added and multiplied all kinds of numbers until he reached the number 666 and then declared me to be the Anti-Christ.
I didn’t take the bait.
HR commented that Stucky was a genius, but I think that he was still mad at me for criticizing him for commenting on an article a few weeks earlier that he admitted he hadn’t read. I let his first comments about it go, but when he criticized the author – Daisy Luther – (full disclosure here – I have written some articles for Daisy and she is a nice lady) I commented that he should go and read the article before commenting on specifics of what she had or hadn’t written.
HR responded that I was obviously an antifa troll. How he got to that conclusion from what I wrote is known only to him.
A few months later I managed to poke Stucky back answering one of his comments on some thread when I mentioned that the last time I wrote something about that particular topic he used one of his numbers things to conclude that I was the Anti-Christ. Stucky recognized both the jab and the humor of my response. – Big family.
Third is that this place is resilient. TBP will survive and go on. – Big family.
So kids in the attic and it’s on to the next shitfest!
Let the games begin…
Steve Candidus is a writer and history buff that works as a product and application specialist of large AC electric motors in Spring, Texas.
Nice write up. What I found interesting is how there were a few other dust ups as soon as HR (†) took a dirt nap. Ever watch a pack of dogs? 2 start fighting and then others start fighting each other almost immediately. Funny stuff.
Thanks, Steve.
I once pushed the limits here, grabbed the conch shell and used it like a bullhorn. But, then, I realized this free speech forum was not Lord of the Flies. On the contrary, because, in the spirit of John Locke, there are laws here that actually engender freedom.
But, still, in the end, TBP is not a democracy. No. Rather, in the ideal of Thomas Hobbes, this forum is a benevolent dictatorship in a digital world where tedium is a capital crime.
Jim is a very patient guy, but as you say there are limits.
My dad was like that. He was a very nice man, and a very patient man, but being kids we would push him to see how far we could go and get away with it. When we pushed too far he would say, “When I raise my voice and it doesn’t do any good, it’s time to raise my hand!”
We all knew what that meant and we would run like hell because we knew that whichever one of us he could catch was going to get it…
And so it goes (or so it went)…
Have to say that I hardly ever comment (I am a devoted fan of TBP) but all of the back and forth between aforementioned parties has certainly quenched my thirst for all of their stupid shit. Hopefully they’ll grow up, move on and act like grownups so that we can all enjoy SENSIBLE shitfests of ideas.
Fetch – glad you are posting.
But hoping that we will grow up act like adults is like hoping you will find a ton of gold under your mattress. It ain’t never going to happen.
Revel in the glory that is TBP. Hoping for it to become civil is a waste of good hope.
Llpoh,
Touché!
It doesn’t have to be civil, I would never expect that here but the back and forth and to and froing lately from certain commenters definitely takes a big shine out of this otherwise awesome site.
Dammit I had to look. I found a pound of dust bunnies under the bed and three pairs of Nick’s boxer shorts, but no gold.
My husband kept saying “why not just let it go?”
I honestly will tell you I wanted to but I think it was just such a bizarre reaction HR had to ANYTHING I said, I thought he could not possibly be for real.
I thought he was a “Billah’s Wife” construct.
By the time I realized he went full schitzo at the “thought” of shhhhhh… Maggie in the house…shhhh…it was too late.
Other shit stirrers learnt the trick.
Not all M G posts to HR were me. But there were a few really good ones I wish I had said.
And now, I hope it is done.
And I hope Stephanie comes back to make me feel wise instead of like a surly wiseass. Although I DO surly wiseass well I prefer silly old wise lady.
c’mon Clammy….my son got his six month pay raise! He really is eligible marriageable material now!
Steve –
An assessment that jumps over the line from “damn good” to “effing brilliant”. Thank you!
Da P
I am fairly new to TBP so do not know the personalities, but I get the sense there are some long brewing feuds among several of the old timers. I, too, do not like the anonymous names as it become difficult to identify those who have some really brilliant remarks and those whose brilliance remains hidden from the general public.
I love the forum and have found quite a few very talented writers that I like to read and who, besides a prude or two, does not like FF?
Keep it calm and remember, we are all one big family, warts and all.
TN – it will never stay calm for long. We are one big family, and the best of theirs is not as good as the worst of ours.
I get the sense there are some long brewing feuds among several of the old timers.
That’s a negatory, rubber ducky.
Steve – very cool. I truly do not hold grudges, as a rule. They are counter-productive. I do enjoy a good fight. And hell, this is just the internet. Far as I really know, EC may be a transgender dwarf posting from his mom’s basement. But I suspect not. When someone jumps to the defence of one of the ladies here, it always crosses my mind – they may be defending a 43 year old biker, as who the hell really knows.
In business, if I held grudges it would not be good. Everyone I deal with pisses me off at times, so if I hold grudges I would have no one left to work with.
I cannot even go into the grocery store without someone pissing me off (I went apeshit at a 500 pound bag of lard that fucked me around at the market just two days ago. What really sends me over the edge are the dipshits that instead of apologizing for fucking me around say “but my job is so hard, you do not understand”, which is what tubbo said, and then I really gave it to the hippo. “You mean serving customers in the order they come to the counter is too difficult for you? So what you are saying is that you are incapable of counting to four? Etc.)
Anyway, I am 100% in agreement with you. Fight, then forget about it. But that does not mean the fight is a one rounder. Sometimes it takes a full fifteen.
Really appreciate you putting this up.
And never fight on the other guys terms. Make him fight on yours.
Think Sugar Ray Leonard versus Thomas Hearns and the great Angelo Dundee’s words to Sugar Ray in the corner.
“You’re blowing it now son. You’re blowing it!”
Thanks for the comment.
Now there’s a visual that I’m going to have to try and erase from my memory…
Llpoh..
Steve called EC versatile. You say he may be a transgender Dwarf posting from Mom’s basement. I say he’s not a Dwarf.
He could be a dwarf. But I do not think the sexy mulatto lives in his mother’s basement.
We did not know one another at Lackland. But we really did cross paths there and I swear I coulda been his chum if Latino men were not so horny.
Amazing coincidences here. Really.
Good read Steve.
Mags,
Where the hell is EC on this?
I wrote about him in my essay. I thought for sure he’d be here razzing me about something. At the very least he’d be korreckting mi baad spilling. Fucking spelling NAZI that he is…
What part is dwarfed?
Well let’s just say, as I have heard, anyway, he will not need to undergo surgery to make the transition to female.
I picture him as this guy, but in a sombrero. And I’m telling you, at the TWO minute mark, when that young tramp joins the dance? If I was the sexy mullato in the pink shirt, I would have kicked her ass!
If T4C doesn’t see this here, someone PLEASE make sure she does…
At 2:42, I wanted to yell “Get it, Grampa!”
mulatta! Sexy Mulatta, look it up and you get this:
The real EC
MG your sense of humor makes me laugh out loud. But is that a colostomy bag that geezer is swinging at the hip!
That’s right, because I ain’t transitioning. You will have to find somebody else to transition with you. Please send me your polish sausage afterwards, I will put it in a pickle jar and show it off to guests.
I suspected all along it was not so much HR hated ME as much as he hated EC’s obvious fondness for me…
It was EC’s love he really wanted.
Keep in mind that I am Not EC. But if I were the real EC, I’d imagine I would look a lot like this:
Get it, Grampa!
Not EC.
We know you’re not EC. Mexicans can’t do self effacing humor. Too insecure and uptight.
I know, huh?
“When we hear the words Puerto Rican, our ears prick up”
That’s what I tried to tell people, I get mistaken for Chuy often.
Ok…I’m gonna comment on this thing one and done. I’ll speak my honest thoughts, willy-nilly and get the fuckout. It’s kinda my style.
I can’t even begin to understand how people can so thoroughly and consistently be at each other’s throats. It was exhausting, pointless and distracting even from my position of ignoring almost all of it. The line from American History X sums it up perfectly…”Life;s too short to be pissed off all the time.”
Now, HR himself, is a conundrum. The guy posted some good shit, fairly regularly and had some good thoughts and a solid intellect, but a total inability to open his perspectives, even a little bit. OK, fine, a lot around here are incapable of that…but there was a disingenuous to it from HR…like he was defending some theoretical position that he’d like to hold.
The thing with Maggie and EC was just ridiculous and from both sides, really. I get boredom, I get that this place is emotional, I get that it can get nasty and so be it. HR was the classic bully, pushing things 9 steps to far the crying victim when the inevitable blow-back came. Fine and enough, but Jesus it never ended….and it ended up poisoning every single fucking thread…even to me, great ignorer of nonsense that I am. Seriously, I have no idea how you all maintain the energy to fight. I’ve been a few rounds with many here, gotten more heated here than i do almost anywhere else, but I’m done with the fight when there remains nothing but insults and injuries and I’m OVER the fight an hour afterwords at longest.
The other massive failure of HR was that he kept fucking telling everyone to DO SOMETHING. Fine. We should all DO SOMETHING. But what? Stick our necks out to be quickly severed. Sorry, we need to have a little more nuance and discernment than that. Besides, if anyone wants to really DO SOMETHING they must first learn to lead. Leadership is almost indistinguishable from pure responsibility…more, responsibility for the actions of others. It’s ridiculous and beyond “unfair” but I believe it is True and Right and Good and Noble nonetheless. Telling everyone to DO SOMETHING and then promptly insulting and fighting with LLPOH, Stucky and other Big Dogs? Are you fucking kidding me? You want to DO SOMETHING maybe start by taking responsibility and earning loyalty from other leaders who have earned theirs.
Personally, I am no real leader. I’m very, very agreeable by nature…not what is needed in true leadership. The kind the world desperately needs now. I’m more the right hand man. I want a leader to earn my loyalty…but you better be genuine, a seeker of Truth, noble of purpose, Bold and smarter than me.
HR possesses none of those qualities.
OK…through copy and paste error, I just commented as Stephen King.
Alas, it is just me, DRUD.
Hi.
If I call you Steve from now on, you will understand.
I’m gonna comment on this thing one and done. I’ll speak my honest thoughts, willy-nilly and get the fuckout. It’s kinda my style. – Stephen King
Sounds like The Tao of Steve
Geesh…You were much better as Stephen.
I held a white flag up and it got splattered with shit.
Peraonally I suspect he wanted EC all to himself.
Country girls all know Coyotes are loners by nature. We just put out better bait.
I found that Achilles heel one night in the hospital last August and September (and October then November).
I think I drove him mad.
Country girls put out?
They keep their boyfriends warm at night, I heard at the beach, boys.
Very nice. Very nice indeed.
Thanks, DRUD for your clarity, I wrote this reply to MyG who insists on a different version of events:
It is hurtful in a way to keep hearing a version of the events that continues on with the same story line Robbie was pushing. I am not quite sure when you started reading. I started reading at the point where he posted an article on Antifa. It all went downhill from there. He began to see Antifa everywhere, posited that all comments were the product of one person. . He moderated his position and refined it to a select few, Maggie and EC who were one anyway. Then he went really wild, pursuing Maggie and EC and finally just Maggie. One commenter observed that Rob posted articles with the sole purpose of harassing Maggie. It was a crazy episode and if you fell for the crazy talk that we were harassing him, it was Rob turning everything around and if it were not for the fact that I have seen this kind of maneuvering by Billy, I would have to wonder if I was the crazy one.
It can happen with senile folks that imagine shit and believe it so strongly that they convince people around them that so and so is abusing them. If you only read his version, you can walk away with that impression. What you could do is look at the things Maggie wrote, her restraint in language, restricting it to calling him a ‘bird’ or talking about him ‘sucking his noodle’ and his wild reactions, calling her some unkind names and calling her a liar and a fraud. Most of the harassment that he suffered was in his head, turning stuff around to his advantage or rather making himself the victim after beating viciously on Maggie.
You equate LLPOH with Rob, which is in itself offensive, but you are wrong. LLPOH would have to question your entire narrative, background and experience while calling you names and then when you complained, LLPOH would have to make it sound as if you were abusing him, persecuting him and seeking to destroy him, the blog and everybody who didn’t agree with you because you are some sort of communist.
——————————
The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.
Thank you. Now, about that Build a Bridge shirt. The “Over It” is in glittery silver, but you can read it, if you stop looking at the And Get…
By the Way? My Nick’s no nipple rule is ALWAYS in effect.
I think most people were avoiding the nonsense, but I had to check daily to make sure he wasn’t posting old videos I’d forgotten about. A couple of them were just silliness, but there were occasional shots that were only meant to be shared with a few. I realized that this summer when asking a parent if I could include his child. When he paused, I realized the situation regarding photographs is about to change.
Do you know a school in Kentucky is TESTING facial recognition for all staff AND students? AND students.
Bea? Did you hear about that?
Also, I have a new IMac coming and will be paying for a real online account. The security stuff works, I’ve discovered. You just have to PAY for the good stuff, not think the free shit does what it needs to. So, someone with a new IMAC tell me what I need to get for a security package. I’ll see if I like you idea better than Paula’s. Her package is kind of expensive to me. But, losing my three year old laptop to malware was expensive too.
Sigh. No way around it.
Jim Quinn is lucky to have the man with no name… I had no idea what real hackers can do if they find a way to do it… And, now, I know why people pay people to secure their sites.
I assumed it was all spy versus spy stuff. I was wrong. There’s some malicious people outside Bugtussle.
EC: Here’s my response to you. I remember early days when Rob thought I was Maggie and then he thought everyone was me and then he thought everyone was Maggie again. Then he would be quite lucid and then he would go off and at one point he claimed that I was practicing my script writing and character development. Then he said he loved me and so on. I figured he was a tad nuts but, hey, internet. I didn’t pay much attention one way or the other until I began noticing a trend, an offensive one that carried over into other articles, EC and Maggie would toss zingers at him and then he’d go over and toss zingers back. it was confusing and disconcerting.
I, by nature, stand up for the underdog, I root for the losing team, I’m there for the kid who tried and got shot down and I felt sorry for Rob and figured he just needed some kindness to help show him another way of acting. I don’t like it when people gang up on an individual, I hate bullies and people who throw their weight around and I’ll head into the fray if I think someone is being bullied and attacked by a gang. I’ve had my ass kicked on many an occasion and sometimes i’ve backed the wrong player but, by golly, if I see some one abusing an animal, a kid, another person then I’m on them like white on rice. That’s why I entered the fray as regards Rob.
As to Llpoh, I have figured out his tactics but it took me awhile. Playing the aggrieved participant and then using that as a venue to attack is generally a female tactic so it caught me unawares at first since I do believe that Llpoh is a man…and I have this image of him being a really big guy. No matter, my David to his Goliath aside, I have a bit of the viking beserker gene and will go into full throat when my blood is up. Like I’ve said before….
I am a redhead.
You and LLPOH would be two beserkers going head to head. You only think you understand him but if you would change your perspective just a tad and look at him as he sees himself, a proud, self-made man who rose above the role cut out for him and succeeded where so many from his neck of the woods failed or never tried. He is an old fashioned man, one who believes his word is his bond, quick to take offense at being called a liar or being accused of any dishonesty or associating him with war criminals. If you would look at him from that perspective, you might understand him a little better.
Now, I recall that Hollywood began attacking Maggie for making up stuff about her AF experience. I think that is where I became involved. I went back and read my initial comments on Rob’s articles for the last two months. I admit I was being a shit to him but I can’t see the baiting, that was his own doing, following Maggie around and using a one word reply to anything she wrote. I had a moment when I was mellow. Then we got all wound up on Uncola’s article and it just climaxed at the end. If I could change anything, I would not press for his dismissal but then I would not have had the opportunity to read Steve C’s assessment and find out that I’m a prick. I am, and I am ashamed for it.
Thanks, little buddy. You are an integral part of this blog.
I was sorely tempted to do a raging parody of craycrau anti-you blast for “old times” sake but the idea of even having to pretend through that nasty perspective akeered me.
So…you are not an asshole. You are just drawn that way.
You are the cynical one. I am the optimist.
We EC, are narratorrs and time pointers. Literary terms, yes…but didn’t Pangloss say something about life’s being atage?
Someone has to cue the folks. That is the narrator.
I didn’t say that you are a prick EC because you aren’t. I said that you baited HR, and you did.
HR could dish it out, but he couldn’t take it. He had a button and you pushed it. When someone has a button, it’s easy to push it. When someone has a button the size of Montana, it’s irresistible. HR self-destructed.
The important thing to understand is that you didn’t get HR banned. HR got HR banned.
EC: The understanding works two ways. Would Llpoh take the time to parse me as you suggest I parse him? Would he care to understand me a little better? Only he can answer that. I’m not going to spend undue time psychoanalyzing the folks who comment here, that’s above my paygrade. Do you want me to delve deeply into your psyche?
As to HR, you did indeed bait him, he was easy to bait, and that’s where I took umbrage, you are VERY intelligent and to pick on him as you did was like picking on someone with Downs syndrome. He had issues, that’s a fact. Did you ever seek to understand him as you say I should seek to understand Llpoh? You are not a prick, you got caught up in the moment and didn’t stop to reflect on potential consequences.
BTW, all Trump supporters should get a Trump tattoo… for MAGA. I hear BL has three.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9922286/donald-trump-fan-tattoos/
When I called him, he said they were all on his butt!
(teasing, BB…how about that date with Paula?)
I do not pretend to understand women because I don’t. Everything I know about LLPOH comes from him, I am not psychoanalyzing him or you and you can spare me the psychoanalysis; Steve C has done enough damage already by implying that I am a natural master baiter. Everybody is going around saying I baited Rob.
I fucked with him, I see that in my comments to him but baiting him? I prefer to call it responding to his dumb fuckery making wild accusations. Like I said, I am not proud of my comments but please give me an example of baiting as I fail to see it in my comments on his articles (although I do recall a snide comment on another person’s post about how it was as ironic as an atheist writing about faith. It was Rob’s problem if he sought out my comments.) Sue me.
EC- I figured I’d give you a few hours to kick back a little before responding. I hope you’re feeling better.
First, you’re being hard on yourself for no reason, and we ARE your friends. Believe it. I personally owe you much and have said so.
As to the baiting thing, you should understand something. Baiting is a tactic and often an effective one. The fault lies not with the baiter, but with the one who foolishly takes the bait.
Stucky baits people all the time. He enjoys getting the monkeys riled up and increasing the comment count. You might say he is a ‘master-baiter’ (in more ways than one). The trick is to not take the bait.
All of us here have been in worse battles than anything that HR ever endured. I even mentioned in my essay about the shitfest that I got into with Llpoh one time. You haven’t had your ass eaten until you’ve had it eaten by Llpoh. He beat me like a mule, but we left it there. The next day was a new day for both of us.
HR simply could never let anything go and he always took the bait.
And for what it’s worth, I disagree with Mygirl about HR being vulnerable because he had ‘issues’.
When you jump into the fray on this site you had damned well better have a thick skin and be ready and able to defend yourself. It’s not our responsibility to check with your doctor to see if it’s safe before mixing it up with you. You comment on this site and you take your chances.
Whatever HR’s problems are they are his problems not ours.
You did good.
I would be his running buddy if I already weren’t one.
Just sayin…
You haven’t had your ass eaten until you’ve had it eaten by Llpoh.
That is an unfortunate idiom. Although I have heard the phrase; getting an ass-chewing. I am not being pedantic, pedantic is when you try to score on somebody just to look better than them for whatever reason. e.g. Steve, I believe you mean to add a comma there since it appears to be a sub clause to you original oration.
Listen, I baited him too. After I realized what a real cookoo for cocoa puffs he was, I supposed he was “related” to someone around here. (um, bad accusation to make to Admin for those of you new to the TBP shitfest arena? but HR was a new strain of crazy.)
So… I paid for that for a long time.
I realize everyo9ne BELIEVED it was all me and EC. It was not. My friend Paula would call me and say “Get this… it is that crazy fucker acting like he is ME acting like he is YOU!”
And she told me she thought the man with no name was pretty savvy. Seriously.
HR is really crazy!
Anti-Whut?
It is a big family, Steve. It’s different than anyplace else on the interwebs and I guess that is what draws me here even when I am so distracted I don’t have time to read all the posts, not to mention the comments.
I notice when someone has been missing for a while and wonder if they have left or are just dealing with their own personal shitfest, and hoping they are ok.
I believe that holding a grudge only hurts the grudge holder. Bygones is the only way to move on.
Us younger brothers and sisters can benefit by listening to the advice of our older brothers and sisters.
Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be a good idea to pin a permanent link to Stucky’s 10 Rules For Newbies at the top. Is that the right title?
Mehopes your grandson’s arms are healing and your daughter is in full recovery.
http://rational.org/blog/
An incredible library of research on addiction and emotional trauma. (((Mary)))
I spoke with my own son yesterday. He has a “therapist” now as a member of a software team for a big medical corporation in Kansas City… Cerner Group? anyway… a staff therapist for the little programming snowflakes.
Seriously. I wish the therapist the best of luck figuring out my son. I’ve given up.
Truly, read some of the stuff at Trimpey’s site. There’s a trick to copying/pasting though, so if you want to save or work with any articles, I’ll teach you the trick.
He is doing well in spite of his mom, thanks, Maggie. But we removed him from her house so that has helped a lot. She, on the other hand, seems to be getting worse. I keep waiting for that in the gutter moment to happen so she will be ready for recovery.
I’ll get the bead counters back on the issue. Seriously, I don’t know if I shared with you what started the Novena business months ago but the “other” red rope who grew up to BE SOMEBODY?
Holy Crap… her ex-husband, Baltimore (area) cop of 30 years? Stalking her son’s family. Charges DROPPED after he broke into their home and tried to assault his daughter-in-law!!!
Is that crazy?
So, prayers ensued and beads got counted.
The ex-husband isn’t FIRED, but he is under restriction, suspended and LOST his right to carry a firearm on duty.
Is that BIZARRE? I think the world has gone stark raving mad.
So, she’s counting her blessings and her beads. I will add your cause back to the list.
You should post an essay… your talent is sorely needed again.
This was another SIGN FROM GOD.
I had not thought about the “Mary, Undoer of Knots” Novena I signed up for longagofaraway. Well, my friend and her daughter-in-law and a couple of others who joined the bead counting party along the way.
I dropped out after the Oklahoma trip and I was so tired of a lot of stuff.
So, I told you I was gonna add your cause back to the list?
I haven’t heard from her in a long time. I got a card TODAY in the mail from her thanking me for giving them the link to such a powerful prayer. With a really nice prayer card I’d like to share with you. I’ll scan and email the image.
https://www.theholyrosary.org/maryundoerknots
So, you are back on their list. It is my way of passing on my work to someone else. If it is effective, I will still claim credit. If not? I will blame them.
Thoughts from the gallery:
A good perspective, well written.
In judging others, we search for traits that align with ours.
If found, they are likable.
If we see traits that contrast our values, we dislike & sometimes criticize.
Some recipients confront the critics, while others ignore and avoid.
Fighters and sissies.
There are reasons why people are the way they are, based on history and a lifetime of experiences.
Here’s the point.
Non acceptance of other’s traits is typically a failure to consider why they behave as they do.
-Walk a mile in another man’s shoes before casting a guilty verdict, and maybe empathy enters the consideration.
If someone is weak where you are strong, maybe that person struggles, due to multiple reasons.
Grudges, it is agreed, are toxic.
Letting go, forgiving and forgetting comes easy for some.
Those who struggle with it, probably have demons from the past they are battling with.
One suspects a history of humiliation, demeaning criticism, and repeated blows to their self esteem is at play.
Try as they might, they struggle to remember the highs, and dismiss forever the lows.
That “flaw” can be overcome, but many struggle with it.
Humbleness helps keep arrogance in check. Ditto: Gratitude and Empathy.
Humiliation can devastate recipients.
The Golden Rule, too often ignored, instead of followed, by the arrogant.
Here’s an interesting parallel.
A coach of a team, can instruct, teach, advise, & encourage amateurs still learning.
Conversely, a coach can bitch, yell, and mockingly shame a stumbling team player for their flaws. Humiliation.
Debate the styles, of various degrees of (tough love) message delivered.
But, many players recoil and are finished in the onslaught of harsh criticism. They quit, walk away.
Again, because of their past.
Labels add to the injury.
Do you teach? (humble sage)
Encouragement works better in most cases. Likeable.
Of anonymity, perhaps there are reasons, unknown by critics, but seen as cowardice.
Consider that it may be a defense or fear mechanism at work.
Reasons.
It would be good, to think twice before striking and injecting venom, to be used only when legitimately attacked.
Unwarranted insults cause effects.
Dislikable. Enemies emerge.
As we sow…
Nice… if I didn’t get the link, it is Thoreau’s “Different Drummer” quote from Walden.
This one’s good too.
“…And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music…” — Friedrich Nietzche
For a while, I thought my son was calling my family a Niche family, meaning we were unique and speicial.
Now, I realize he meant Nietzche. And I’m pissed.
Thanks Steve, enjoyed the read. I frequently come here when I get bored in the office. Sometimes the articles are really interesting and sometimes the comments are even better. People sure think a bit different at TBP, therefore it is the only social media I engage in.
Well said Steve!
Thanks GCP. I’m glad you commented.
Although you don’t owe me any favors, I would like to ask you for one. My request goes to anyone else here that wants to give it a shot too.
The article that I mentioned in my post that I had written on my birthday last year about abortion was one that I had thought would be well received here and that would have generated some good comments and discussion. Hopefully, even some additional fun suggestions for making people think in a different way about it.
That was the goal. To get even a few people that might otherwise be hostile to discussion to just think about it in a different way…
You never know when writing an essay, but I obviously missed the mark by a wide margin.
I didn’t think that I would have to put in a disclaimer in a high INTJ content crowd like ours that the gestation period is only approximately nine months, but maybe I should have. Or maybe some commenters were just grandstanding. I never really decided where I screwed up.
Since it is a topic of great concern to me and I expect to you, would you give it a read for me and let me know what you think? Don’t be afraid to hurt my feelings. I’m pretty thick skinned. I’ve fought with Llpoh and lived to tell the tale. Besides, I find that I learn more from what I do wrong than from what I do right. I just want to get it right. Ya know?
Here it is from August 2018:
Well that does it, I’m jumping in… After years of watching the family feud and being endlessly entertained, informed and feeling at home, i had the good fortune to meet some of you this summer at HSFs gathering.
I reckon i feel at home enough to say a thing or two and maybe even send something more formal up the flagpole for Jim to consider posting.
About 25 years in chemical and pharma research and another 25 as a real estate broker have given me some food for thought.
Thanks for the kick Steve, and especially to Jim for keeping the lights on for so long!
You should write, Known. I can’t, at the moment. It takes hours I don’t have. I will when things settle down a bit.
There are people who comment here that you can see that they have writing skills that should be used for essays.
Jump in the pool! The water is a bit of a shock at first but you get used to it.
I am going to post a video and ask for his comment.
I am putting up a video as a post and hope to see your thoughts on Dr. Nielsen’s discussion of Strontium and the industry’s attempt to repress it’s use. Does Big Pharm really OWN the country as I suspect? (My son has just gone into software engineering for, uh, Big Med/Big Pharma)
Thanks for looking.
I am going to track down an endocrinologist.
Whatever an endocrine is…
As long as theres JOOOS to hate I figure the group here will continue. Brown folks and others who don’t believe as you do will keep TBP going. just pointing out what I see here almost every time I look at articles. Its what others would get from this site also. I look past this crap for articles I like.
Very well said! I was one of those who began to despair when that latest shitfest took place, but your fine essay has made me feel a lot more hopeful. And–Surprise!–I’m an only child. I’ve learned, however, that intra-family things can get nasty and now as ol’ Grandpa make every effort to stay out of them then try to smooth them over with surprisingly good results. You did a great job here!
Nice, nice, nice.
When I was a kid, it was my parents, my sister and me. And aunts/uncles; one with four kids, one with three kids, one with two kids. Plus the cousins already grown and on their own. Grand-parents from both sides. Older once-removed cousins with several kids between them, their extended families. All in a small isolated logging camp/ranching community of about maybe 400 people at its height. About 1/4 were related to me by blood or marriage.
The shifting alliances and arguments would be incomprehensible to anyone not raised in such a setting.
And so it is here –
Hey Steve fuck off you idiot
Hey Feteh fuck off you idiot.
Hey Da PROFESSOR fuck off you idiot . I hope all of you learn from this experience.
I did!
BB’s 1 minute lesson
Did you see my ornerable mention BB? You inspired me to send money to protect Anons rights to speak! Anonymously!
I think you taught us all a valuable lesson.
Who is Feteh?
To be honest, he can be pretty condescending at times – even downright irritating.
That is so unfair. However, to settle the nature or nurture question; I am by nature a kind and unassuming fellow but I learned how to fight from the best here – Stucky and LLPOH. It doesn’t mean I am in their league.
I taught you everything you know, I didn’t teach you everything I know. – Doc Pangloss
I should add that I have always been grateful for your mentoring and often sage advice.
BUT
You can be a real PIA sometimes. (You’ll probably take that as a compliment)
I take the fact that you credit me as a compliment. You are a far better writer than I could ever hope to be.
I will tell you one thing karass buddy…( Look it up)
When Stucky stiffarmed the pack for me years ago you whimpered about my not having to fight my way in. You said I got a pass. And now I think I can claim my place in the ANALS of tbpsbitfest mythology. Or, at least the anus.
I need to let T4c know I was particular catty about lunch. I apologize.
T4C? My friend Laula is the biggest tease around. She flirts with Nick all the time. I lunch with her but Nick stays home. Lol
Why are you talking about people’s anals, this is a family blog, didn’t you read the title?
I thought you were referring to Father Damien Karras, SJ.
Dipshit, which of course, in spanish would present the verb last, si? Making it Shit Dip(per).
Why do I feel like Carrie’s hand is going to come up through the floor at any moment?
My cousin in Pondicherry, India, daughter of my namesake Aunt (is that the correct term?) and I discuss the idea of a Karass…or Carass. A hindu belief that a certain set of souls seem to travel through parallel lives and sometimes recognize one another.
Like me and you, me hoe!
Please stop this inane chatter before another Flying Monkey loses his wings.
I made an anonymous mention of NOT EC in my anonynmous donation in daredoubledare mode to smartypants Mygirlie and all other commenters who treasure their right to speak!
[Do you think she will learn? Is she trainable?]
Tut, are you trainable? What’s to learn, oh anonymous poster. What I want to know is how some can figure out who’s posting anonymously. Insider info?
Hints, code speak, subtly hidden clues, and recognition of writing styles, my girl.
Use of punctuation, cliche’s, etc. Known histories.
Interested detectives use a sharp memory for key details from past thread exchanges, and there are a few who zero in on an Anon, in a form of following, similar to twatter birds who tune in to see what their feathered friends or annoying crows are chirping about. Like a curious game of cat and ‘mouse, stealth hunting.
If found interesting to some, but not 100% sure, it’s like a puzzle, to try and ID who it is, especially if the Anon’s comment shows intelligence or ignorance, or, if comment is a potential lightning rod, for lighting up a thread, which can go off on weird tangents and stray off topic at any time. Check-backs later are involved.
A given comment from an Anon. There be intrigue to some.
To others, meh. The mystery isn’t worthy of their time, save for perhaps an agreement or disagreement thumb cast. Then move on.
Whachutokkinbout, Willis?
I used to hunt down the back and forths across postings to figure out the underlying conversations. It is a network within a network.
Like any good story should involve.
And, again… “story” and “narrative” are simply synonyms for the same thing. One just sounds like fiction, while the other frames it.
A person with experience once told me the difference between the truth and a story about the truth is that the truth happens once while the story can be told many ways and many times with many outcomes.
The story depends upon viewpoint. Anonymous viewpoint can sometimes be more objective than a viewpoint constantly required to defend itself.
If that makes sense, you know I know who you are.
I hope you really did send a few bucks, Anon… and as for Mygirl? I think she is just stubborn.
We all got through stubborn a time or two.
I heard a “real” preacher tell everyone that he had to KICK a couple of his own stubborn kids into the Kingdom, but he did it because he was determined to get them there.
Now, THAT is some good preaching! worth an extra fiver in the donation plate.
My money order will be in the mail today. I don’t get out much.
Yes. Generosity has a way of returning to us, I’ve found, if we’re not concerned about from where. Just give to worthy souls
I knew you would know what I meant.
Fine. I will stop the Me Hoe thing. I thought it was funny. Kind of like saying Taco Tico to everyone when that little dog was the Taco Bell spokesman.
Alrighty then, I wasn’t going to comment, I enjoyed reading all the comments and was just thinking about what Steve wrote. I don’t know why there are people who get off on the wrong foot with one another, but it happens. At first I was rather surprised when I witnessed a shitfest and then, when I got caught up in one, (or two or three, but who’s counting, right?) well, it was cathartic. Especially with Llpoh who I now understand a tad better and actually rather like in a wary kind of way…:)
Stucky and EC attempted to counsel me, and, oddly enough, I listened to them.
What is lacking in many instances is the ability to banter, the back and forth and interplay and the humor. EC banters like a pro, his mind goes onto tangents that are scary and funny and sometimes annoying but at least the repartee is never dull. And, that’s the key as I see it about this site, it has it’s moments but it is rarely dull.
Mygirl – you know the story about the scorpion and the frog? Scorpion asks the frog to carry him across the pond, frog says no way, you might sting me, scorpion says no if I did that we would both die. Frog finally agrees to carry him across, but halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, frog says why did you do that? We will now both die! Scorpion says well, it is in my nature, and you knew what I was before you picked me up.
Well, I am kinda like that scorpion, I think. I long ago quit fighting my nature. People just need to be a bit wary about picking me up.
But here is the thing – I really do not hold grudges. That is not in my nature.
Llpoh: I have the remarkable ability to let go once all the adrenaline leaves. I don’t hold grudges because they take up too much room in my head and I figure why give someone that space rent-free?
As to picking you up, I think in some ways you are the alter side of me. There is generally some reason why people can become antagonistic and butt heads and sometimes it’s a psychological thing and other times it’s chemisty. I can pick up a sense of who you are by what and how you write.
I imagine that at some point we will go at it again, I don’t fight my nature either, it’s pointless. But here’s the thing, intellectual clashes stimulate. I need that to and fro and generally I don’t find too many who can go head to head with me and I’m not real concerned about pulling punches with you, and that, oddly enough, is refreshing.
Cheers
My eye caught “adrenaline leaves” and I wondered if there was some plant you knew about I could make adrenaline oil from…
But, you are not talking about that kind of “leaves” are you.
I can be intensely dense when I need be. I “semi” apologize.
Actually there are plants that stimulate and simulate Adrenalin and the leaves of the coca plant from which cocaine is derived, is one such plant. You are not dense, you are borderline autistic and I mean that in a good way. You assimilate and process information at a different level than other people do and because you are bright you over think yourself at times, your thoughts run over and on top of one another.
Go read up on Temple Grandin (this is the second comment I’ve made to you about her) and see if you can see some parallels. I greatly admire her.
Mygirl…maybe – That’s the 100th comment.
That’s a prize here…
No it’s not, Stevie, no wonder your wife seems a little depressed. Men maybe can roll over and sleep but women need to get the 200 or 400th comment before they call it a night.
My thoughts runneth over. It’s a nice way of saying I’m crazy. Actually, my sister described the way I was reacting to a loss, I was delirious and she said my thoughts were going in several directions at once. It happens to people in shock as I was.
It does. I think it would do us all a lot of good to go into group therapy.
Can we fight there too?…
Terrific article, and great comments (especially by Drud).
Ms. Freud and I have had a few really huge arguments over the years. You know how long they last? Until sundown. Really. To not do so means STARTING off the next day angry at her … and I’m not gonna go that route.
You know why I won’t go that route? Because my dad and seester are genuine experts at holding grudges … sometime for years (not kidding) … and I see how destructive that is both to the recipient of the grudge and the holder of the grudge. Fuk dat shit.
THAT was Hollywood Rob’s big mistake …. never ever letting go, and continuing on for days/weeks/months.
I am not a Christian (at least 98% of Christians would say so) but I do believe in many of its’ teachings. Not just believe, but live them also. If HR just followed the principle below, he’d still be with us.
R.I.P. Rob.
Posted as a post, but in case you don’t have time.
Thanks Stucky.
You would have liked my dad. He used to always tell us as kids,
“Never go to bed mad.”
And
“Every day is a new day.”
Sure glad that my handle got changed by My Famille to RiNS…
Seeing the name spelled here now tends to make me cringe…
Video of Him (yeah he;s a bit ruff around the edges)
Once he wuz great
Then just okay
Then he shit
all ovah the place
And sadly
at least for Stucky
had to be sent packing
and on his way…
R.I.P. Rob
Glad its you
and not me….
p.s. Admin please note no pictures of white wahmen were exploited for this interlude..
Yours as always by Grace of Odin,
RiNS
the other Rob
(and all round nice guy)
My Nick.and I developed a “hold” state.
One of us saya” It is time to.walk away and reethink.”
That means it really is time. And we drop it until we think.
Life is a weird circumstance in.which.to find oneself at times.
I explained 4th turning theory to him last night. He had suggested “any old blog” would be.better than being called names for just existing. H and his Browns dreams…baker mayfield better come through.
So, he likes football, hockey and me. So he listened to my thoughts on generational patterns now.
He gets it or said he did to get lucky.
I am hoping I can comment and post occasionally and if you hate me just say so and go.
EC is the smartest SPIC I ever met. NOT the sexiest…we ALL know that Cuban’s name. The Puerto Rican dated the other red.rope.
Lol
Spic is a slur word, Wop shark.
Why? Isn’t it just HISPANIC but slang? Honest question.
It isn’t a natural thing to follow an EEE sound with a flat ICK sound in Spanish; the vowels all have one sound and it confuses the tongue to try to do that. As an example, I have heard some people have trouble pronouncing “aluminum” and I have tried to coach the beer bitch so she can pronounce au revoir and armoire without looking and sounding like she is having a stroke, just say arm war, I tell her. Anyway, A simple sentence like “I don’t speak English” comes out as “I don’t spick English.” and that got Hispanics a nice slur – spics.
Steve C. is looking like a one-pump chump with just a hair over 100 comments. Oh well, I tried, buddy.
I get it.
I will stick to beaner.
Is strange.how.different cultures develop language use. There are some sounds Aboriginal people use that most people cannot make with our voices.
Remember the dude from the Police Academy parody?
I see. Si?
Adios means see ya after while criocodile, let’s go Pedro, see you then Mr. Nugyen.
Right?
I will use Paulo.
Am trying to fix BB up.
Days? Weeks? Months?
I had the surgery August 20 last year.v I wandered upon an abandoned desk with a computer in the hospital* and got online and started a pissing contest from hell. Then I got my laptop and had 24/7 access long enough to really cause long term resentment. Silly things that hurt are what I look for. Like comparing EC to a guy from Puerto Rico I knew. Pisses him right off every time.
I do think this was an epic saga shitfest about noodles.
Know what my Nick said? He said there is something about me that gets under some people’s skin and irritates them. I asked what and he grinned and said he doesn’t know but Methinks he does.
You gotta KNOW he does.
*Yes…a doctor walked by and asked if I needed something. I told him I was just out walking and needed a rest. He seemed okay with it.
Don’t get a big head, I just have a thing for girls in school uniforms, AF uniforms, nurses…
Believe me when I say I have one of myself and friends that would make you cry.
LOL
Did you see the whole cooked tongue on the Pregnant Mare Urine post?
Great bit there Steve..
I remember that first piece about non-competes and the back and forth.
This place draws an eclectic clientele, mostly on the right hand side of the bell curve. And while that’s important, the real glue is that almost everyone who sticks around is authentic. That’s worth coming back for.
That non-compete/non-disclosure article was only about the fourth or fifth one that I had ever written here. It seemed an unlikely candidate for such a shitfest, but it really went postal. I guess it was, as they say, sort of a baptismal by fire for me.
Good thing that we were all able to leave it on that post and move on – which was the point of this article actually. Hopefully it will help to soothe some ruffled feathers too. Ya know?
I’m glad you dropped by and visited. I so enjoy your stories.
About the ‘move on’ bit. If I may impart a bit of GenX landscape, which I feel may be appropriate, as I know Admin has at least a small penchant for Punk.
That is the Mosh Pit.
I love Mosh Pits, including this one. What many do not understand about pits is the etiquette. That is, when the pit is raging you can catch a hard elbow to the sternum that lays you down hard and the same individual that put you down will expose themselves to the same in an attempt to help you up off the ground, and you are expected to do the same. Etiquette.
It’s strengthening exercise, just like TBP.
Also like TBP, there are Big Dogs in every Pit. The ones with with the strength, experience and fortitude to enforce etiquette. It’s not like there are rules per se, but if you get psychotic enough you’re going to get something special, and might not be back.
Anyways a hardy fuckin thank you to Admin for the best fuckin Pit on the net.
baptism
Excellent stuff Steve, thank you, and I will share with you privately. I love TBP and have followed it for many years, probably from the get go. But now I feel part of the family and as one commented the other day: ‘digital zoo’, I love that, and all the ‘digital monkeys’ in it!
I am glad I read that.
Thank you Steve C. My dad was 1 of 12 siblings. It was so interesting to hear the stories and shenanigans. A lot of what you wrote hit home. Hope to see you writing again.