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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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To donate via Stripe, click here.
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Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
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I will dislodge your foot, I promise. But first . . .
Baby’s not the only one with wood.
I love nature.
She’s just a babe in the woods.
After another ugly attack, and a defensive intervention, Robby the two-toned hare was chased from the schoolyard.
After another ugly attack, and a defensive intervention, Robby the two-toned hare was chased from the schoolyard.
I heard you the first time ~L.
C’mon Bob. Shitphone double taps happen eh?
Damn cockblockers.
Who would’ve thought riding sheep could be so innocent?
A young Baaaaab P had his first sheep experience.
You see where their rhythm comes from?
The chimpanzee has a relatively high IQ in the areas of mimicry and rhythm.
Like a rapper.
There’s always a wise ass around when you need one.
Here’s Donkey Balls in ACTION
It wasn’t till the 15-minute mark that Bob noticed what a lovely smile she has.
Paula canceled the date, she had nothing to wear.
Well, after all, it is run by government.
No drones allowed at the medieval festival.
In reality the deep state lurks just under the apparently pacific surface.
Saw a man earlier today at the beach shouting “Help, shark! Help!”. It made me laugh, there’s no way he was ever gonna convince a shark to help him.
Bada bing, bada boom….
Took the words outta my Exit 9 mouth!
And that is how the story for Kung Fu Panda came about.
See, Panda Moms can just body slam their annoying little shits…or is it Panda dad?
Nice.
almost forgot
Everyone… I apologize to T4C for being a catty bitch last week.
And, if I was catty to you? Either you deserved it or I’d had it.
Enough said.
R I P, Eddie. I hope you are now in paradise.
Does anybody have Westy’s interview with Eddie Money?
This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door-prize and was writing to say thank you.
Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away.
I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.
Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.
Thank you for that opportunity.
LOL! That reminded me of the time I saw two little old ladies in wheelchairs at the local nursing home. I was there visiting a relative. They were busily and energetically attempting to kick the shit out of one another while muttering imprecations under their breath. I had to go round the corner to keep from laughing too loud.
A woman ended up caring for two female parrots belonging to her father, who had to enter a nursing home and couldn’t take them with him.
But he was kind of a rascal and taught them to say some rude phrases whenever anyone new walked into the room.
Their favourite was, “Hi, we’re hookers. Want to have some fun?”
The lady was quite embarrassed by these two birds and was at her wit’s end.
However, because her father was so fond of them, she was reluctant get rid of them.
Then she remembered her priest raised parrots. In fact, he had two male parrots that were quite remarkable — they could even say the rosary.
So she asked his advice.
He suggested putting the two rude birds in with his birds on the chance they could teach them some better language.
So, she brought the birds over and placed them in the cage with the priest’s birds.
Of course, the first thing they said was, “Hi, we’re hookers. Want to have some fun?”
One of the priest’s parrots looked over at the other and said, “You can put away the rosary beads, Larry, our prayers have been answered.”
How many plastic syringes in the pile?
The scene: A calm country road, on a nice spring day.
An Amish carriage, slowly making its way along a westbound lane.
A county sheriff on patrol, notices a violation, and signals the carriage to stop.
A pretty young woman, wearing a bonnet, is the sole occupant and carriage operator.
“I’m not going to cite you,” said the officer. “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous.”
“I thank thee,” replied the Amish lady. “I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home.”
“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband do something about that, too.”
“Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home.”
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the incident, and the broken reflector.
Guntar tells her he will replace it, and put a new one on immediately.
“Wait. There’s more.” she says. “The policeman also thinks there is something wrong with the emergency brake.”