Captain America Rebooted As Feminist, Atheist, Transgender Hydra Agent

Via The Babylon Bee

NEW YORK, NY—As part of a broader effort to increase the representation of diverse groups of people among its superheroes, Marvel Comics has announced a new bimonthly Captain America series, wherein Steve Rogers is re-imagined as a feminist, transgender, atheist Hydra agent, sources confirmed Friday.

“Rogers has always represented uncompromising truth, justice, and bravery,” a Marvel representative said. “And there’s no better way for us to convey that than to have him finally come out after 75 years as a female-to-male transgender who’s a hostile feminist and doesn’t believe in God. This is a true hero.”

“Oh, and he’s also been a Hydra agent the whole time—you didn’t see that twist coming, did you?” the rep continued.

The move was universally applauded immediately upon its official reveal, with pre-orders and subscriptions for the ongoing series smashing every other comic book line’s records.

In response to the positive feedback, DC Comics is rumored to be considering yet another reboot of its entire line of comics, wherein popular superheroes like Batman, Superman, and The Flash would come out as vegan, Muslim, and otherkin, respectively.

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9 Comments
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
October 14, 2019 2:07 pm

What the fuck is an otherkin?

ZeroZee0
ZeroZee0
  Iska Waran
October 14, 2019 2:15 pm

The guy on the receiving end of the act of Stool Pushing?

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
  ZeroZee0
October 14, 2019 3:20 pm

Oh yeah, the Dastardly Duo … Bottom and Top. Who knew, or rather, who cares?

A few of us were discussing the PC degeneracy in comics a few years ago.
It was one of the ways I grew up learning how to read. If you hadn’t noticed superheroes are practically all male and settle their conflicts with violence. The Degenerate Generation decided this was unacceptable and set out to make things right which immediately led to the rapid demise of interest among young readers who are mainly boys.
When I was a kid you could buy a comic book for ten cents. It’s exactly what they’re worth nowadays.

ZeroZee0
ZeroZee0
  e.d. ott
October 14, 2019 3:56 pm

I miss the days of Sgt. Rock and Easy Company…….

Kinetic Impacter
Kinetic Impacter
  ZeroZee0
October 14, 2019 11:49 pm

wtf’s Flash Gordon when you need him?

BSHJ
BSHJ
October 14, 2019 2:39 pm

What is ‘hydra agent’?…….something a dog likes to pee on?

Also, do atheists use the term ‘omg’ when they are texting or excited?

Kinetic Impacter
Kinetic Impacter
  BSHJ
October 14, 2019 11:50 pm

they go with ‘rbg’.

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
October 14, 2019 5:42 pm

Buttman, Fooferman, and the Flasher.
It’s for the children. Really.

javelin
javelin
October 14, 2019 6:20 pm

Let’s see.. IronMan died in the last avengers and his replacement is going to be a black woman….. Captain Marvel is now female… Superman died and now we have Supergirl series on TV… There is a new series on TV I saw advertised with some lesbian man-hater as Batwoman ( since batman has supposedly disappeared… We got Wakanda/Black Panther and the black, secret Utopian society which is hidden away to keep from having white immigrants ruin it.. Wonder Woman won WWII saving all of those male GI’s from the Nazis.. the recent cartoon version of Spiderman is a black kid… Thor is now a drunken, fat loser because he’s so whipped over his earth-girl that he has turned into a slobby drunk…. etc etc

Of course Capt America will be exchanged for a Marxist, homo female fighting against America’s racist patriarchy…makes sense in Bizarro, reprobate Hollyweird…………

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154664/

The problem with “black Spider-Man” is…

https://www.tvguide.com/news/batwoman-everything-to-know-arrowverse-spin-off/

https://time.com/4394478/iron-man-riri-williams-tony-stark/