NEW YORK, NY—The Bloomberg News Editorial Board has endorsed Mike Bloomberg for president.
While other publications are endorsing multiple candidates or communists, Bloomberg Opinion says they’ve found the right man for the job: Mike Bloomberg.
“He’s a really swell guy,” wrote the editorial team. “We always have a good time when good ol’ Mike is around. His ideas are great, dogs and children love him, and honestly, it’s our completely unbiased opinion that he’s just the #1 man for the job. Vote Mike Bloomberg!”
The team listed some of his greatest accomplishments:
- A record score of 18 on the golf course
- Learning to drive before he was four years old
- Graduating with several doctorate degrees by the time he turned 16
- Advocating for minorities and civil rights
- Bringing police officers and black people together
- Eradicating soda drinking from the galaxy
- Planting an entire 400-acre cornfield with his bare hands
- Winning World War I
- Winning World War II
- Winning World War III (all but guaranteed to happen)
- Taming a wild bull and teaching it to speak Farsi
“Oh yeah, and he’s absolutely human and definitely not a robot.”
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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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I’m SHOCKED, shocked I tell ya……….
Short people got no reason to run. Unless they are jooish and IN THE CLUB.
George Carlin was way ahead of his time
That was Randy Newman.
Wait…. I just read that Bloomberg refers to trannies as, “some guy in a dress”. So, we have just learned that he is (1) not politically correct and (2) understands that males cannot be females simply by donning a dress.
Despite the fact that he is in the club, short, a liberal commie, and has a close relationship with Israel, that bought him some points. Bernie could have some stiff competition here.
Bernie could have some stiff competition here. Heh.
Not if his competition is Pocahontas or Hillyawatha. Big Mike might be stiff competition.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0SuEpWsYpY
HOLY CRAP