Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter
Ahoy, suckers! Conservative, Inc., is back at it again, trading in its classic cruise ship motif for a figurative dinghy in its never-ending quest to separate you from your money and themselves from the shredded tatters of their ruined dignity.
Woke Rule No. 1 is that anything with “Principles” in its name is a grift. Now, something called “Principles First” – ugh – is trying to shoehorn into CPAC’s spotlight with its “National Summit on Principled Conservatism” to be held in D.C. on February 29th, and for the low, low, almost certainly lib tech tycoon-subsidized price of $10, you can attend this sexless Never Trump Freaknik.
It’s an opportunity to get one-on-one with all your favorite relevancy-challenged B-list MSNBCNN guests for a full day of complaining about Donald Trump and having them show you on the doll exactly where Trump hurt them. Brace yourselves for impassioned pleas by impotent weirdos to vote for the crusty commie curmudgeon because Trump sends mean tweets, plus plenty of “Oh well I nevers” and “We’re better than thats” as Pearl Clutchfest 2020 gets well and truly lit. Just don’t be surprised if the marquee outside reads “Puppet Show and Never Trump.”
From political consultants who are no longer consulted to writers who are no longer read, this is the Woodstock for conservatives who never actually conserved anything.
Excited? Worried you might miss out? Calm down. There are plenty of tickets left. And I hear they’ve got loads of Doritos and Zima at the buffet, if you can squeeze in between the ravenous Bulwark staffers stuffing their talk holes.
Who’s coming to this soiree? Well, just imagine the universe’s worst county fair dino-rock concert line-up, and this is its political equivalent. Mona Charen! Bill Kristol! David Frum! It’s basically the Swamp’s version of Bachman Turner Overdrive, Blue Öyster Cult, and Average White Band – except this band of totally white people are well below-average, though I’m sure we’ll get a fussy email reading “Excuse me, but we have a/an __________.” The closest thing to diversity I could detect in their line-up was the aptly named Heath Mayo – he’s diverse because he’s a younger kind of white person. I’m sure Mayo is ready to unleash the full benefit of his life experience upon the eager crowd – he can explain how learning about Reagan in high school in 2008 totally changed his life.
Sadly, Ana Navarro isn’t on the bill, but she probably has important work to do completing Dr. Stephen Hawking’s string theory research. And there’s no sign of Jennifer Rubin, probably because the event occurs during the hours of daylight.
Just make sure you catch Tom Nichols giving his expert opinion about your moral obligation as a True Conservative™ to vote for the socialist over Trump because of reasons and shut-up.
So, what’s on the agenda? The magic begins at 9:00 a.m. sharp, with “Registration, Networking Breakfast, Meet & Greet.” Get there early before the ex-Weekly Standard staffers make off with all the donuts. And be sure to snag a photo with super-plausible 2016 candidate Evan McMullin, but if he asks to borrow a couple bucks because he “left his wallet at home,” don’t count on getting paid back.
Rev up your inner Romney for the 10:15 a.m. panel that will ponder the eternal question, “What Is Principled Conservatism?” At about this time, expect a bunch of D&D nerds and furries to show up and give the participants wedgies while savoring the chance to look down on the only dorks in the world who are even more pathetic than themselves.
There’s another panel at 11 a.m., on “Politics of Conservatism: Should We Stay or Should We Go?” Oddly, it does not appear to include advocates for the most common reaction to that question – “Who gives a Schiff what you geebos do?”
At 1:00 p.m., look out for the panel on “Conservatism & the World: Foreign Policy & Trade,” where the speakers can all talk about new and exciting wars that other people can fight for them. At 2:00 p.m. is a panel on “The Constitution & Rule of Law,” which they are all against because Trump is for them. Then at 3:00 p.m. is the nightmarish prospect of something titled “Coffee Chat / Book Talk,” and by about that time, you should start feeling your virginity coming back. Ending the program at 4:00 p.m. is a panel on “The Future of Conservatism: Looking Ahead,” which will likely consist of each panelist weeping over his/her/zir bad life choices.
Basically, it’s the Fyre Festival for the biggest bunch of failures in American politics.
You do have to hand it to the organizers of the “National Summit on Principled Conservatism” for managing to stuff four lies into a five-word phrase. It’s not “national,” or a “summit,” or “principled,” and it certainly has nothing to do with “conservatism.” What it is is one final carnival before the lights totally go out on this tragic punchline of a movement. In the era of Bernie Sanders being the alternative to Trump, the Never Trump rump faction has managed to do what we all thought was impossible – become even less relevant to the debate. There’s no point to them anymore. You’re either for Trump, or for the communist, and for 99.9999% of Republicans, even those who still sniff at Trump, Bernie is a Bolshevik too far.
While these losers mingle, over at CPAC President Trump will be addressing the winners who still matter in conservatism. Ahoy!
This is the same flock of tycoon-owned zeros who called my conservative novels “appalling” and helped shoot them up the sales charts. Check out my latest conservative thriller, Collapse, along with the other entries in the best-selling series, People’s Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. They describe the world if these goofs got their way, with all the failure and misery that entails, and plenty of action and liberal bashing ensue. Get them all, and also check out my Townhall VIP podcast, “Unredacted” every Monday as well as my new Hugh Hewitt-affiliated Salem podcast, “Fighting Words”!
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
What about the Festival Of Always Trump Losers of which this author is one?
How about your party, The Whiners?
Never satisfied, club meetings at the end of some bar.
Why whiners? Is stating the truth now whining?
You’re right that I’m never satisfied but the bar reference is not me. I’ll be satisfied when the entire Fed Gov is gone, and I’ll see that day.
Are you one of the loser always Trump supporters? If so, name a single thing he’s done that isn’t outweighed by the stupid shit he’s pulled. Go ahead – I dare you.
“Is stating the truth now whining? ”
It doesn’t have to be.
There is a very Eeyore-like tone to everything you write. Are you unaware of how it comes across or are you being deliberately choleric for effect? It’s impossible to figure out from the written word alone. You are certainly perceptive and seem to have a real depth of understanding, but it comes out like the teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
At some point in order to be effective you have to propose solutions to all the problems you point out, or add a human element to it so we can see you more as a three dimensional flesh and blood human.
That of course is your call to make.
I have no deep hidden meanings in what I write. What you see is what you get. I don’t give a shit about political correctness or peoples feelings.
I had to look up what an Eeyore is and never saw Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
I purposely write in a style to infuriate people that disagree with me to try to draw them out in conversation, but alas, they are usually too cowardly or ignorant to do that. I also write in a style that is straight forward so the very dense in the audience can get it.
Propaganda works on weak minds and one of the key features of propaganda is repetition, so I repeat the themes I’m most interested in to try to pound some sense into people’s heads. Some may interpret that as whiny but I prefer to call it reinforcement of a valid concept.
You’ll please note that the huge amount of down votes I get are a measure of my success in that they have read what I wrote and that has burned my message into their brains that they can’t undo. That message will simmer there and just might ignite a sympathetic thought down the road.
That, in the end, is my goal – to get people to think instead of repeating the State propaganda they’ve unquestionably ingested from childhood.
The depth of your self love is abysmal.
I have no idea what self love has to do with truth telling. Shove your personal assessment of me up your ass.
Soapy
If you read your own comments you would see what I mean.
I can only assess what you present me with.
Instead of going after me personally as in an ad hominem, why not try to refute what I say.
Are you capable of that or can you just throw mud?
Soapy
We tried that, remember? Go back to Farmers comment at 8:21 and try to read it instead of getting offended.
You didn’t try anything. You just take pot shots from a distance.
Stop hiding and come after me with reason and logic if you can muster any.
“the huge amount of down votes I get are a measure of my success in that they have read what I wrote”
…….you can’t be serious Eeyore
they read who wrote it
saw your name
scrolled down
clicked down finger
and moved on……….
An unfounded assertion lacking any corroboration. You are just bullshitting.
I actually read your comments but don’t think about them afterwards, so I guess I failed your test.
SAO –
Soooo…I guess what you’re telling us is that deep down you’re shallow.
Okay.
Da P
Yeah you just suck.
Thank you for proving my point that many here are of low IQ and can’t respond with a cogent argument against my positions.
You should be so proud of your lack of brains.
I believe the crowd of above average mental power folks here see a preening shithead saying “look at me, look at me damn you!”
He torpedoed the Paris Climate Accord.
There was nothing to torpedo. The whole thing was a joke and no one is doing anything anyway, so officially getting out is of no consequence.
Now on the other side:
Trump has been around for 3 years and hasn’t stopped a single war.
Trump has started a trade war with China to no US population benefit.
Trump has interfered in Venezuela by trying to impose a leader that the locals couldn’t dislike more.
Trump has raised military spending to ridiculous levels.
Hillary is still running around free.
Trump’s hiring practices are moronic.
Assange hasn’t been given a medal at the behest of Trump and is still incarcerated at US request.
Trump’s Justice Dept is a fucking joke.
Want me to continue?
Maybe you should run for president, SAO, and show us how to get things done.
I, for one, don’t want the president to be a king. He has to work within the system we have. He has to with Congress, the Justice Department, and the courts. He can’t tell the DOJ who to prosecute. He can make recommendations, but it’s up to DOJ to act on them. A president’s interference in cases is not allowed unless he is issuing pardons.
I didn’t vote but, so far, I like what Trump has done. In every attempt he makes to get his agenda done, everyone goes against him simply because it’s Trump. The courts are constantly ruling against him in lawsuit after lawsuit only for initial rulings to finally be overturned in Trump’s favor. The Deep State is fighting every move he makes because it interferes with their dirty money making deeds. I’d like to see how you would do under those circumstances.
The current system is just a side show and Trump, or the Presidency in general, just window dressing along with Congress and the courts.
The deep state IS the real gov’t and is comprised of the US military and the spook agencies that use ‘gov’t’ as a cover for their money making operations. (S)elections are just a facade to keep the stupid involved in something that doesn’t matter in the least.
The US IS a military dictatorship with nonsense elections.
“Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.” – Gore Vidal
Further down in this page I referenced an article from LewRockwell.com and that author gets it.
To give Trump a pass by being the fool that keeps the population from recognizing the truth is unconscionable.
And?
You can stand on the front lawn and point at the house on fire and explain that it’s the combustion doing all the damage or you can grab a hose.
Every last person on this blog understands how the system works, it’s no great mystery. What most of the posters are doing is trying to relate the ways that they craft out some sort of response to the decline, that’s the gems in the dross. You just wheelbarrow in more dross. Obviously the negative response is what you’re looking for as some kind of validation.
Consider yourself validated.
When you are hot you are hot!
You’re full of shit.
I provide my rationale for everything I write. I have reason and logic behind my words, not dross.
The average person can’t handle the truth. They are too pig ignorant of how the system actually works which is why they keep voting. Some on this site may know how things stand, but most don’t.
I’m sorry for you Soapy. Reveling in down votes is just self pity in a pretty dress.
He probably pulled the short straw and was sent here by “the usual suspects” to attempt to F up a site “them and they” disapprove of. Happens every election year. Give him a week or two and he will start up on us having no teeth and living in trailers next to landfills etc. Amazing how these guys think their BS is somehow original or shocking.
What you haven’t caught onto yet is we at TBP are not the average person.
Very average with very pedestrian thinking.
I’m surprised you still consort with such “pedestrian thinkers.” Maybe you should find a group that is equal to your abilities.
I’ve discovered that this site needs the most help in having a civil conversation without personal attacks and gratuitous name calling when they have no real case to make due to intellectual poverty.
“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers.” – Socrates
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” – Mark Twain
Many here are State or at least military ass kissers having been in the military and proud of being part of murder incorporated with a gov’t pension.
Many vote to keep the facade of democratic gov’t alive when common sense says the US is owned by the military and other deep state actors who are systematically looting the country. The most recent figures are $23 Trillion has been absconded and is unaccounted for.
I can’t regard people with these characteristics as bright examples of the human race. I used the word pedestrian advisedly.
So stop the “personal attacks and gratuitous name calling “. You are the only one in this thread doing “personal attacks and gratuitous name calling “. Well one of my relies might have been but I’m not an example for anyone to follow.
Oh, and you can’t even keep your handle straight. It probably autofills in your browser and if you weren’t so angry you would slow down and check before posting
You left out “sniff sniff” at the end.
You tell ’em Vixen Vic. Well said.
Okay Boomer.
Continued: Trump increased the Federal budget by 9.2% this year.
Soapy
When you first arrived here you came on with a bombastic bang. Writing long essays in the reply column, telling us what we already knew. Reminiscent of Larry King who thought if he hadn’t said it, it hadn’t happened yet.
Remember the long flaming wars? Most of us finally tuned you out or did as Ivan and Vixen said. Just looked at the obnoxious source and hit the down thumb.
I agree with your critique of Trump but you are just too insufferable to support.
“I agree with your critique of Trump but you are just too insufferable to support.”
…..and a pompous ass
Trump has accomplished so much!
He built the wall! Wait, no…
He deported all the illegals! Err…
He ended all the forever wars! No…
He brought manufacturing jobs back! Umm…
Greatest economy ever? Well not exactly…
At least he’s fellating Israel, letting criminal niggers out of prison, and making sure men can ass-fuck each other in Africa and India! Winning!!!
Where do I sign up?
The more I read this guys articles, the more I like them. Anyone who can tell it like it is and make me laugh at the same time is worth reading.
I think he is funny, I’ve read all his books and find them entertaining.
Imagine believing in 2020 that Trump isn’t an integral part of Conservative, Inc.
I’ll need more coffee to figure out what Sphincter is saying.
Maybe they can get Romney to do the key note.
MAGAtard nuthuggers are just as bad if not worse
Maybe we could convince the never-trump conservo-cons to take their graft-cruise on the Diamond Princess (aka Disaster Princess) and we could quarantine them?
Did you hear there are over 700 cases of Coronavirus locked up on cruise ships? China is of course number one, South Korea number two, and cruise ships the third largest number of cases. I can see the ads now: “if you thought Norovirus was the bomb, have we got something new for you!”
I never imagined so many people wanting the country to fail and so many people trying to help make it happen. I guess i enjoy my life and others are just filled with hate and misery.
I want the People to succeed like no other time since 1781, where we dreamed impossible dreams and overcame adversity at an unimaginable level. Together, but as a community of individuals.
The sooner this nightmare Frankenstein ceases to exist, the sooner it can happen again. The longer people like you think positive change can occur on a mad scientist’s dimly lit table, the less of a probability it will happen.
THAT is what I am sick of – denial of the majority. I’m not sure how much worse it has to get before you all realize it.