Years-Long, Multimillion-Dollar Nomination Process Narrows Field Down To Four Worst People On Planet

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Political parties are passionate about making sure they nominate just the right candidate to lead our country. That’s why the nomination process takes so long and costs so much money.

Well, it’s all finally paying off. After three years of grueling campaigning and hundreds of millions of dollars spent in the Democratic primaries, the DNC has narrowed the field down to the four worst people on the planet.

“It’s important to send America our best,” said DNC chair Tom Perez. “So, we’re proud to present the nation with the finest candidates we could come up with: a confused old man, a lying old woman, a billionaire who’s somehow worse than Trump, and last but not least, a communist.”

“Choose wisely,” he added. “There’s a lot to hate about all of them, so consider all their many, many downsides before you cast your vote.”

Political commentators have praised the DNC’s intensive process for doing such a good job of somehow picking the very worst people every time.

“It’s really quite remarkable,” said one pundit. “You’d think with so much at stake, they could drum up someone with at least one redeeming quality, but nope. Just the absolute worst people, every four years.”

“Really, they could pick a random U.S. citizen and you could almost guarantee they’d be way, way better.”

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17 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2020 7:41 pm

I’m voting for Biden. I think his presidential entertainment value would be great. Just think of the crazy off the wall shit that would come out his mouth!

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Anonymous
March 3, 2020 9:11 pm

I hope the radicals win. That is the only way they will lose.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 3, 2020 9:04 pm

Senile globalist shill, compulsive liar fake-Indian globalist shill, evil financial (((globalist))), and an evil (((communist))).

Quite a selection. I guess it’s a fight between Jewish globalism and Jewish communism, 3-1, and the commie is still doing pretty well.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  Anonymous
March 3, 2020 9:12 pm

Poetry to my eyes.

Pequiste
Pequiste
  Anonymous
March 3, 2020 11:30 pm

There’s that Kosher sandwich that has been mentioned as being served up to the USSA.

22winmag - TBP's top-secret Yankee Mormon
22winmag - TBP's top-secret Yankee Mormon
  Pequiste
March 4, 2020 3:10 am

Israel is getting rebuilt brick by brick. America has been seeing to that since long before 1948. What is the big fuss about?

I’m asking for a friend.

2 Nephi Chapter 6

6 And now, these are the words: Thus saith the Lord God: Behold, I will lift up mine hand to the Gentiles, and set up my standard to the people; and they shall bring thy sons in their arms, and thy daughters shall be carried upon their shoulders.

7 And kings shall be thy nursing fathers, and their queens thy nursing mothers; they shall bow down to thee with their faces towards the earth, and lick up the dust of thy feet; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord; for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.

12 And blessed are the Gentiles, they of whom the prophet has written; for behold, if it so be that they shall repent and fight not against Zion, and do not unite themselves to that great and abominable church, they shall be saved; for the Lord God will fulfil his covenants which he has made unto his children; and for this cause the prophet has written these things.

13 Wherefore, they that fight against Zion and the covenant people of the Lord shall lick up the dust of their feet; and the people of the Lord shall not be ashamed. For the people of the Lord are they who wait for him; for they still wait for the coming of the Messiah.

22winmag - TBP's top-secret Yankee Mormon
22winmag - TBP's top-secret Yankee Mormon
  Anonymous
March 4, 2020 2:58 am

Just say “senator from Vermont”.

Nothing could be more useless than a senator from Vermont.

We’ve had issues with Yankee senators and Yankee presidents since Utah was a territory.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
March 3, 2020 9:09 pm

Sorry to burst your bubble, but the field in the Republican process is generally not much better.
comment image?crop=1xw:0.75xh;center,top&resize=1200:*
comment image
comment image
Though a couple of these were “ok”:
comment image?width=3200&height=1680&fit=crop

22winmag - TBP's top-secret Yankee Mormon
22winmag - TBP's top-secret Yankee Mormon
  MrLiberty
March 4, 2020 3:15 am

Thank you for saving me the time listing Republican “losers.”

During certain Presidential cycles, you have to hand off power to the CRIMINAL DEMOCRATS so a century of CRIMINALITY can be documented. These Republican men all TOOK FLOPS in their respective elections so Bubba and Obama could have 8 years each to finalize the century of crime.

Well, it’s 110 years since the 1910 midterms and 108 years since the 1912 election when the Republican Party nearly went extinct and the Democrat Century of Crime began.

The jig is up in 2020.

View post on imgur.com

yahsure
yahsure
March 3, 2020 9:21 pm

I thought Yang would have gone the distance with his free one thousand dollars a month free shit offer.
But Biden will get slaughtered.

Lebowski
Lebowski
  yahsure
March 4, 2020 3:36 am

Absolutely Biden has way too many skeletons in his closet Watching Trump tear into him will be fun though

The Thing in Room 101:
The Thing in Room 101:
  Lebowski
March 4, 2020 2:29 pm

Yep. This is one time when I think I will put the debates on disc so I can watch them again and again.

SaxonWrath
SaxonWrath
March 3, 2020 10:21 pm

https://m.youtube.com/watch?ebc=ANyPxKryPx4CT0me1T6ZCweSyiU-qmxgyJG7hjwuwy8tO-ZGca_kARwJDa6hn3tzmLQwl0H3MqOW&v=PtIi8QR5Mzs

TRANSCRIPT:
…and the wave still continues. It’s not going to stop. Nor should we want it to stop. As a matter of fact, one of the things I think we can be most proud of.
An unrelenting stream of immigration. Nonstop, nonstop. Folks like me who are Caucasian, of European descent, for the first time in 2017 we’ll be an absolute minority in the United States of America. Absolute minority. Fewer than 50% of the people in America from then and on will be white European stock. That’s not a bad thing. That’s a source of our strength.

Biden is at the top of that shit pile.

'Reality' Doug
'Reality' Doug
  SaxonWrath
March 3, 2020 11:21 pm

*gulp* And so moderate is he. Is there anything to negotiate in good faith anymore, dear Christian White Americans?

Lebowski
Lebowski
March 4, 2020 3:33 am

What “good” person would want the job?

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 4, 2020 8:26 am

The average voter with there 10 second attention span to a 30 second sound byte is the real problem . God I hope it rains on Election Day nationwide .
President Trump with all his bombastic rhetoric is still our only option anchored in some resemblance of reality .
True there has been a minimal up tik economically but nothing to really improve the average Americans position following 40 plus years of private sector decline in wages and benefits .
The ridiculous notions spewed out by democrats is absolute nonsense . Tulsi Gabbard was the only Democrat that had a lick of common sense so the leftist machinery ground her to dust PDQ .
Regardless who the democratic socialist party eventually puts up against President Trump , he will mop the floor with them in minutes in an open debate .
That will be a spectacle for the decade maybe a historical moment where real truths prevail .
I know wishful thinking …
FORGET ME NOT

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Anonymous
March 4, 2020 11:58 am

Actually, yesterday showed that “30 second sound bytes” don’t mean much as Bloomie had nothing else and got slaughtered. The good thing is I am in TN, so the non-stop political ads should go away for a few months.