Hello?
Yes, hi. I, uh — I’m calling about the election I ordered. It was supposed to arrive Super Tuesday and the only thing that came was — American Samoa? Yeah, five delegates from American Samoa. Ha, ha, some mix-up, right? Sure, I’ll hold.
No, there is nothing wrong with American Samoa. I just — I am pretty sure that at my price level, there should be more delegates in this thing. Yes, I saw the nine Colorado delegates. And the Tennessee ones. Yes, I got all seven of them. And the three from Oklahoma. No, I’m not saying that nothing arrived, I just think there may have been a misunderstanding about what I was purchasing. I did buy all those ads, after all — yes, of course, we can agree that they were their own reward, but for $500 million, you expect more than just the experience of running for president. I am not a millennial. I want possessions, not experiences. Why, if I wanted the experience of running for president unsuccessfully, I could have spent as few as $252 million — maybe even half that! For what I spent, I wanted something more.
I’m sure you understand. I didn’t pay $500 million — of my own money, not that it matters — for what at the moment that I’m calling you has amounted to just 44 delegates. Forty-four! Do you know what that is, apiece? Yeah, well, it’s not nothing, that’s for sure. Well, I’m glad they feel valuable. That’s good. I understand that having fewer of them makes each one of them more precious, but the idea was to have more of them.
I was told there would be a lane. Excuse me? A moderate lane. Yes, I was reliably informed that I would be able to take up this lane, the moderate lane — well if the lane system is, pardon my language, BS, then what am I doing here?
No, I’m not satisfied. Yes, I’ll hold.
Hi! I was not making any headway with that other person. I am just calling because — well, I paid over $500 million, and I think my voters may be duds.
No, I campaigned perfectly, but I am not seeing the hordes of voters I was promised. I have built a nice habitat for them, with all the things you said would be attractive to them: ads, T-shirts, buffet foods, the yard signs. The yard signs were not the problem. I have everything they said you should buy to attract voters and, ultimately, delegates. But they aren’t coming. I think mine are malfunctioning. Yes, I will hold.
Hi. Okay, I am looking at the fine print. Yes, okay, in the strictest technical sense, it is true that what I did today “has never been done before and nobody would have believed it possible.” I did not realize how ambiguous that phrasing was. Nobody would have believed it possible that you could spend so much for so little! That, frankly, is on me. But I think you owe me something. Delaware, maybe?
Not to be rude, but do you know what else I could have done with this money? I could have affected so many down-ballot races. Think how many seats the Democrats could control if I had! Whole states, where they could control redistricting! But instead, I spent it on you, and you are telling me that this is the maximum number of voters I can get? I did not get my money’s worth, you can be sure! And I will tell anyone else who will listen, anyone who is even contemplating pouring their own money into a deep hole to elect themselves, instead of just stealthily depositing it into a large and ominous PAC in the time-honored way.
Yes, I’ll hold.
Hi, yes. Are you the manager? Great. I am calling about the Super Tuesday results. I hate to bother you, only, I figured, at this price level, you would want to know if one of your platinum members received such subpar service that they would not recommend this experience to anyone else.
Okay, well. No? So, just to clarify, I won’t be receiving any more delegates? Then, frankly, I don’t have much of a use for these anymore and would like to return them for a full refund. Honestly, such a disapp — no refunds?
If this is the way you are going to treat people who want to buy your elections, soon you may have no one trying to purchase them at all.
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I can teach anybody – even people in this room, so no offense intended – to be a politician. It’s a process. You get your name on a ballot, you spend a half a billion dollars, you show up at a debate, you speak to the public, they elect you. Anyone can learn that.
Not that easy. The government retaliation machine is a filter for lawyer scum and their pets. The law is clear on being hostile and nebulous. Judges decide based on the lawyers being in the clique or not. Go read the statutes of your state. You say you are running for an office and a slew of liability comes your way. You want a team of lawyers who have experience in how things actually work because the law as written is irrelevant guidance. A regular Joe who runs will be destroyed and it won’t even make the news. Fuck this so-called country. If anyone could do it, well the math alone does not support that premise. I think there is more to it. The mere willingness to live a lie at least publicly is something most here lack, which is to say a lie vis-a-vis their respective narrative The Truth. Krauser wrote an interesting blog piece on scalability vs. success. Dentists are pretty much guaranteed to make decent money but not like rock stars. Musicians are pretty much guaranteed to lose money except the elite 0.1%. It’s all a fashion show for herd animals. Merit has little to do with it. To restate the obvious, solutions are obvious. There is no escape. I am in the world of ideas not narrative. This is not an assault of a social narrative figure to me. It’s a criticism as in critique of an idea. I don’t want what I believe to be a dangerous falsehood to be accepted by those who might think twice with these words.
Being a politician, and getting elected are two separate things.
One thing the little prick got was a finger lickin’ viral video.
And a never-to-forget verbal scalping from Lie-A-Watha.
I never liked politics so I am new at this game. It is said that “short” mike put 500 mil into his election. Now, with campaign finance reform statutes how much of that money is he reimbursed for? If he is reimbursed from the public piggy bank than who audits this transaction to make sure the figures are clean?
Only the people in N.Y.C. like an arrogant asshole, it only cost mike half a billion to find this out
Listen buddy, I’m hot shit in American Somoa.
Bloomberg news channel is probably on their cable and the only reason he even got that many votes.
He got an erection about the election and found out the prostitute didn’t want only money but a taller man who didn’t look like a chimpanzee with a hard-on.
In my election back in 1994 for a California State Senate seat, I spent $150 on the race while my two opponents spent a combined over 4 million to defeat me (well, that’s how I see it). It was the most expensive State Senate race to date in CA history (the Senate was like 49D/51R or similar so party leadership was pouring everything they had into the race as there was no incumbent running). I ended up getting nearly 3000 move votes than the total number of registered Libertarians in the district (a district that was 95 miles from end to end). My cost worked out to about $.02 per vote. Not a bad investment for a race I was doomed to lose from the start. And at every candidate forum, in every newspaper candidate statement, etc. I promoted the ideals of freedom, liberty, small government, and private property rights. Bloomberg wasted $700,000,000 promoting more tyranny. Good to see him gone.
You promoted all those great ideas, and California is an even bigger shithole today than it was.
So what you are saying is that it was a waste of $150. You should have got a few bottles of decent Scotch instead. Good Scotch is never a waste.
My personal contribution of $150 was less than I generally spent on assistance for Libertarian Party efforts in the county. I was a the vice-chair at the time anyway. I was hoping that the former county sheriff (who was then the State Senator) would be running for re-election. I was planning on promoting drug legalization as a nice counter to his oppressive history. Instead, I ran against a county supervisor (commissioner) and the current state assemblyman who’s district was half of the state senate district.
For me, the 11 months of exposure or so, the dozens of candidate forums, the dozens of candidate statements that local papers published, was more that worth the money invested. I once drove to the complete opposite end of the district (N. San Diego county) for a candidate forum. NEITHER of my opponents even bothered to show up. There were other candidates for other races, so everyone in attendance got to hear me answer all the questions, but everyone who lived in my contested district came up to me afterwards and said that they would vote for me, simply because I bothered to care enough to show up. One old guy, who said that he used to run numbers for Capone in Chicago in the 30s, completely agreed with my position on drugs. You can’t buy that kind of positive impact.
In CA, it used to be quite easy to run for office. You could even get signatures in lieu of your filing fee. That’s what it was called. In GA, they actually call it a “pauper’s petition” if you do such a thing. No bias there…right?
So I got more registered Libertarians, exposed thousands of folks to my message, was on local cable at least a half dozen times, had co-workers tell me they saw me on TV, and helped people better understand the ideas of limited government and freedom. That’s worth way more than $150 to me (and Ron Paul got a lot more than that over the years).
And CA isn’t more of a shithole because the people that libertarians influenced are now embracing tyranny. My wife and I left, as have tens of thousands if not millions of others who oppose the tyranny. More freedom haters have moved in. Its going on everywhere. You don’t stop working for freedom, just because the fight seems hopeless.
MrLiberty,
I sincerely applaud your attempts to assault the enemy on line with no support or victory.
A valent local charge to do what you felt was right at the time…against great odds!
Hmmm…One day you will have ‘Redemption’ for your efforts…for your heart was true!
Remember…what you said to me…about ‘Redemption’ after Admin (not me) posted the poem I wrote in the mid 70’s…
‘The Forgotten Man’ On Memorial Day two years ago?
About the man who was killed in Nam, and forgottem…with the constant line ‘But I Didn’t’.
You said the people like me, war veterans, would never, ever have any ‘Redemption’.
Hmmm…
Isn’t righteous judgment a tight pair of shoes to walk around in?
Be careful buddy…those tight shoes can give you an open sore on your little pinky toe, on the left or even the right toe. Better dab some scripture on it…you don’t want it to get infected.
Matthew 7:1
Just a reminder.
Valiant, but Quixotic. Running to expose people to good ideals is one thing, but running in a race you can win at a lower level and then implementing them is better.
OT: Mark Styne giving rant at top of the Thrush Flembaugh Show on how Bernie Sanders won’t, but should if he wants to win, campaign with a spine. “Unless you hang the corruption around Joe Biden’s neck by name, you’re going to be done.” Styne is smart about things that matter. Playing Tucker’s trivia game, not so much. Great minds think alike. I’d like to see the radical Left win as fast as possible. Delay is our demise. Demographics is destiny. Total admonishment.
Prophcy is destiny Doug.
Not looking to debate that point by the way. Not interested in running around that rock with you.
Two howevers:
1. I want every month, week, day, hour I can get to continue to prepare. Think we have finally run out of years…but who knows I have been wrong before.
2. I do not have a great mind, not an attempt at humility…just because I have one of those honest mirrors, I use to think Dorian Gray was standing behind me…then I realised he was me.
But otherwise a good post!
From the Bezos Post!