Nation That Revolted Over Three-Pence Tax On Tea Now ‘Pretty Cool’ With Government Locking Everyone In Their Homes

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—The nation that once revolted over minor taxes on tea and stamps is now “pretty cool” with state and local governments locking everyone in their homes and robbing them of their livelihood indefinitely.

A new poll has confirmed that the country that threw crates of tea into a harbor because they’d have to pay a little more for their caffeinated beverages is fine with tyrannical states destroying everybody’s lives, as long as they have their Netflix and Amazon Prime.

“A lockdown with no end in sight that destroys the economy, robs us of our constitutional rights, and probably doesn’t stop the virus at all? Yeah, that’s tight,” said Bernard Humphrey of Portland, Maine. “Tight, tight, tight.”

Most people polled were fine with paying many months of their income to the government every month in exchange for their rights being trampled as well. “Yeah, 30% of my income goes to the government, once you calculate income tax, sales tax, payroll tax, property tax, and a few hundred others,” said Mike Bunson of Los Angeles. “Sounds fair.”

When asked what it would take to get them to revolt, most people agreed that if something really important were threatened like easy access to their favorite Starbucks beverages, they would be the first to start the revolution.

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3 Comments
Donkey
Donkey
May 27, 2020 8:17 pm

Well, I’ve just recently, like 5 minutes ago, learned this is all Ok. The Supreme Law of the Land has said so.

How many of you all vote for Govna? In fact, does anyone have an election calendar for every state? All the way down to dog catcher.

Glock 1911
Glock 1911
May 27, 2020 8:29 pm

What you get when people are assailed with the principle that if you don’t think for yourself, everything will be just fine. Public school, the media, the consensus-which who knows how that got to be such a force-preaching with a thunderous authority to unplug your brain and just obey.

22winmag - TBP's Yankee Mormon KJV Bible Critic
22winmag - TBP's Yankee Mormon KJV Bible Critic
May 28, 2020 6:29 am

The American Revolution was no such thing.

It was a messy divorce turned into “friends with benefits.”