Chicago Mayor Says Fourth Of July Weekend Was ‘Mostly Peaceful’

Via The Babylon Bee

CHICAGO, IL—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot called this past Fourth of July weekend where 79 were shot in the city a “mostly peaceful” weekend at a press conference today.

“It was mostly peaceful, very calm, lots of people enjoying themselves, very fun,” she said. “Yes, there were a few run-of-the-mill murders and shootings, but hey. We just call that a Saturday here.”

“Other than the people getting shot on basically every block, it was largely calm and peaceful.”

Lightfoot also pointed out that most people who committed murders were practicing social distancing and wearing masks. “Encouraging” surveillance footage showed that Chicago’s murderers are using hand sanitizer and wiping their weapons down after each murder. “So, by that metric, I think it was definitely a success. We’re making a lot of progress on that front.”

She further stated that she suspects the murderers are actually paid Trump supporters trying to make her city look bad.

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7 Comments
TN Patriot
TN Patriot
July 7, 2020 11:33 am

Did Jussie hire the murderers to make it appear they were MAGA cap wearing dindu’s?

Anonymous
Anonymous
July 7, 2020 11:42 am

Buckwheat? Is that you?

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
July 7, 2020 11:45 am

It’s all the fault of wypeepo.

marty
marty
July 7, 2020 12:40 pm

This ignorant lemur and that fat Jew Pritzker are a fkin disgrace.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
July 7, 2020 5:35 pm

14 people shot on Auburn Ave. alone in downtown Atlanta. Right down the street from where MLK grew up and preached. The overall total was way higher than that for the weekend with all dead and all suspects black.

Glock 1911
Glock 1911
July 7, 2020 11:29 pm

Is that a dude or a chick? Who the fuck voted for that fuckface for fuck’s sake?