PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro announced today an exciting new playset for kids and little innocent babies: “My First Knife Fight,” to be released under its Playskool brand aimed at toddlers.
The playset features real shivs kids can use to stab each other in an innocent street fight. Including a variety of knives, from makeshift shivs made out of toothbrushes and razor blades to switchblades and kitchen knives, the playset is designed to entertain kids of all ages.
“Raise your kids right with My First Knife Fight!” says the voiceover in a new commercial for the product. “As everyone knows, all sweet and innocent children love to stab each other in a good old-fashioned knife fight. Make sure your kids have a leg up on the competition with our premium playset — you don’t want your innocent little baby on the wrong side of a butterfly knife!”
“Get My First Knife Fight today, wherever great toys for sweet precious little babies are sold!”
According to Hasbro, the playset is already wildly popular and has caused no actual violence, just innocent kids stabbing each other on playgrounds a lot “in good clean knife fighting fun.”
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Back to the Future it is!
At 5 yrs of life my Escrima training began. At 69 years of life, no one has been successful in cutting my flesh. People have tried!
Fencing. Did it from freshman secondary until freshman year of college: épée. Great sport! Didn’t have the leg flexibility for it, sad to say.
Oh well. I heard that OJ is providing instruction. And high skool students in Cleveland are signing up en masse, complete with background music from Randy Newman (hope you get that). That’ll fire them up (pun intended).
You know OJ’s kids asked if they could spend the night at a friend’s house back in 1994. OJ said, “I’ll have to axe Nicole.”
I think Hasbro also came out with “The Invisible Pedestrian” Halloween costume in the early ’80s.
Love the BB!! Wish they’d take their act on the road. Would be great to meet these people. Consistently putting out really funny shit is pretty hard work. And they are better at it than The Onion ever was.
I know BB in this case is Babylon Bee but I miss our old friend BB.
This was the sickest thing I have seen in my entire life
You must not be paying much attention.
Meh. This has nothing on the Jihadi Baby Bomber (C) stroller set from Terrorist Toys.
Knife fighting among teen girls is cultural right of passage only among niggers. Why put the white kids on the box?
The White kids are only there to be victimized by the thug(s), which is en vogue nowadays.
The toy is so popular, btw, that they’re releasing an add-on, “My Last Time Not Listening to the Cops.”
Somewhat on topic, but I recall playing a knife game when younger where 1 person drops a buckknife as close to the other person’s foot without actually hitting his foot? mumblypeg? nimblypeg?
My father used to play this “game” … but, with a knife. Really. He was pretty fast too.