HONOLULU, HI—CNN and other mainstream news outlets are reporting on a “tragic, completely accidental” boating accident at Pearl Harbor. As details still come in, CNN is urging people to not rush to judgment or assign blame until the story goes away in a few days.
“Such a tragic and completely accidental boating accident,” said one news anchor. “The thing that’s so sad about it is the tragic, totally random accidentalness of it. Our hearts are with the victims and whatever. Anyway, in other news…”
Independent journalists from the scene are sending messages that this was an intentional attack by the Empire of Japan that was designed to inflict as much destruction and casualty as possible. Such messages have been dismissed as unfounded and racist, and likely linked to recent increases in anti-Asian hate crimes.
“We do not need to investigate this any further, or talk about it ever again, as it was an accident,” said the local Police Chief in a press conference. “Any talk of motive is unhelpful at this time. I think what’s really important is allowing our Pearl Harbor community to heal.”
CNN then quickly transitioned to a news story about the latest Cary Grant movie.
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Consistently funny, top notch comedy writing that an entire season of SNL couldn’t touch.
Because it’s true.
I just read the headlines and they crack me up. Astute satire, for sure
More or less. I don’t think the Japs expected to be let through. They wanted their trade back, not to go to war. They were already at war. That’s why they were pissed about the trade.
Now do the USS Liberty.
A flock of birds in a feeding frenzy over a school fish caused minor damage to a US Navy vessel. Some members of the crew were injured in the rush to film mother nature.
Why is that more important when crypto jooos were responsible for Pearl Harbor? Happy Thanksgiving dckwad.
Super funny. Sad commentary on just how decayed our republic has become. Happy Thanksgiving TBPers.
Better to be Herod’s pig than be a White Person in America now, especially if you are a Conservative, who must always look down and shuffle your feet; always start sentences with sir or mam, ask permission and apologize for everything, or else you will be attacked as a racist, uppity bigot, white supremest, nazi fascist; be arrested as a Terrorist and held in solitary. It’s not rampaging scofflaw Blacks being arrested, convicted, and sued to death; it’s Whites you Useful Idiots.
Remember the “mostly peaceful” protests at CNN last year? Good times for sure.
He was flying through that crowd for maximum psychological impact. Thanksgiving and Christmas will never be the same again for those folks who were there.
CNN reporter ask “Other than the unpleasantries of the evening, how was play Mrs Lincoln?”
Please do not give them any ideas as they already stupid enough now as it is……
Kentucky and the Hopkins County area most of the train drivers playing overseers have probably seen me trying to wave them down I’ve been moved to the state of Kentucky again to tell you I’ve once been pillar since parasites since the kid I had passed my opinions I was giving a 24-perc’s a 24-hour processes to human it to the to other airports every time I trying to get a hold of someone because I passed my opinions in the people have refused to pay me I’ve won my Kentucky brief and my neighbor and the people down the road and my grandmother and my uncle have missed traded me they’ve also tried to take me coolers this is to my other and my all I do feel neglected and declared by the people who disturb as more homes I is not trying to include anyone but the one that I wanted the one that I want to have something to do with they totally hacked my phone that I’m having trouble to reach others in public I have told said this hell if I didn’t kill the man he died you know but better yet you know taping it video taking it to you as the USA the horses army every one of you can understand this is the united child to tell you forced and above me or before me before me but with yours goals I is having trouble speaking after my car accident to tell you something I just want my car that I have bought for myself to know they’re supposed to deliver it but Mike and Gene have seemed to think that they could be my parents but they’re not and the neighbor too and the girl down the road to tell you they’re not included on my reality show to tell you I have been chosen and selected to tell you nothing about me will pay for their lawyers or beginners to their armpitual I also owned the heart I also own and have belongings that have been curless and busters the blue and green underneath the values of yellow I’m also want to do my I’m also wanted to do the people who would want to speak to me like locked up Rob wanted to do the raw lock up cuz I was I was charged as an adult and took him to jail and away from my parents to tell you I haven’t made my own sexist in my own step in life and I’ve been hidden in the Pirate Rock on route 66 on the lower Creek camp valley nortonville Kentucky I just wanted to speak to others and I do want to participate but I don’t want a whole lot of keeping copy cop s*** I have no children I’ve been asked to be married I’ve not to make up any decision on that I have also done that and had that also they hung me by my head and they also put 29 chains around my around my body as as I was not even 16 years old yet I’ve told you not once but twice if I can’t get my belongings and you ready assumed Jen charged me to know I pleaded guilty through the whole thing to know my panels are back well someone please hook me up with a phone that can’t be hacked I can push and have my things delivered and a home I do not want to live in Kentucky I do want to live with the rich I do know every begins from hollow and garlic and all the people around me I will be pressing charges I hope that they can understand please I have already told you if you can’t come here and knock on my door then the hell with you