Science Accused Of Lying Under Oath Health

Via Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The nation’s capital was rocked this morning after a new report by Project Veritas revealed that Dr. Fauci, who is the living embodiment of SCIENCE itself, may have lied under oath about engineering deadly coronaviruses in a Wuhan lab.

“This is devastating,” said Neil deGrasse Tyson, one of the venerable high-priests of SCIENCE. “I have never known SCIENCE to lie to me. It’s always true, whether or not you believe in it. To think that Dr. Fauci—who is SCIENCE incarnated in flesh—could perjure himself is very disturbing.”

Some unbelieving critics have suggested that maybe Fauci isn’t really SCIENCE itself, but instead a corrupt bureaucrat with human flaws and imperfections and a tendency to lie to protect himself. Officials from the NIH have condemned these critics as heretics who deserve to be condemned to eternal punishment by SCIENCE for all eternity.

“I am not lying. I have never lied, my dear children,” Fauci said to an adoring crowd of screaming fans outside his Northwest Washington mansion. “I am merely testing your faith. Believe in me, and in SCIENCE who sent me.”

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8 Comments
rhs jr
rhs jr
  Administrator
January 14, 2022 10:05 pm

This is not news; by mid2020 I was reading and watching real scientist (ie, non-gov’t) report that Ivermec and HCQ could treat CV-19; and that masks and social distancing were useless; and that the Shot contained mRNA molecules. I posted comments on TBP that it would be dangerous to inject those molecules into our bodies: that they would make us into GMOs, and who knows what else they might do to us genetically. Before the end of 2020, many Doctors were warning that mRNAs making Spike Proteins would screw up our Immune Systems, clog our circulatory systems, create super viruses, etc. Then someone discovered huge amounts of Graphene Oxide poison in all four of the Shots. This Shot should result in all three branches of the US Government becoming Republican in Nov2022. Within a decade, over 5 million foolish Americans who took The Shot will die from Adverse Effects; that will raise the average IQ of Americans more than an Ice Age would, and that will be a very beneficial.

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
  rhs jr
January 14, 2022 10:10 pm

5,000,000? That is an easily obfuscatable(?) number. Nothing to see here. 5,000,000 over 10 years? Oy vey.

rhs jr
rhs jr
  Glock-N-Load
January 15, 2022 2:21 pm

Suppose they are not elderly, not otherwise morbid, but die of cancer, mad cow, infections, strokes, heart attacks, auto-immune disease, lack of platelets, car and other accidents, etc and are generally liberals; do you think people will notice especially if flake Doctors and the MSM are blaming common colds, loneliness, stress, occasional smoking, bad habits, illegal drugs, vitamin supplements, over the counter medicines, inadequate rest, etc.

Ghost
Ghost
January 14, 2022 9:50 pm

In other Science news today…

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
January 15, 2022 12:04 am

Crimes against humanity….say it with me folks….

Anonymous
Anonymous
January 15, 2022 4:22 am

C’mon folks, nothing to see here. Just a matter of Tony changing the definition of “gain of function”. There-all is fixed.

B_MC
B_MC
January 15, 2022 6:22 am