China to Make Electric Tumbrils

Guest Post by Fred Reed

1788. China to Make Electric Tumbrils

We—I, and my spousal unit, Violeta—pulled into DC after a conventionally miserable flight from Guadalajara in seats apparently designed for dwarves with our feet almost in our pockets and Delta trying to sell us beer at seven dollars a can. I didn’t get it. If you can sell watery brew at seven balloonishly inflating greenbacks a can, why do you need an airline?

The occasion was a visit to a woman with whom I immediately became involved, though with Violeta’s permission. She weighs seven and a half pounds and has a smile that would make a dead man weep. This may have little geopolitical importance, though.

Anyway, the proud father celebrated having produced, or coproduced, a baby who probably deserves a world run by psychiatrically less fascinating adults, by taking about a dozen of us to Fogo da Something, a Brazilian restaurant on Pennsylvania across from the Trump Hotel. This costs $64 a head for all the meat and salad bar you could eat, desserts and drinks extra, so with tip you can crawl out, stuffed and economically depleted, for about $90. Salad bar good, desserts swell, meat tasteless. You can do better for a sixth the price at La Carreta, down the lake from us in Mexico.

The meal was a pre-guillotine experience, especially the restaurant. Or I hope so. The waiter says, “Hi! I’m Bruce and I am going to be your waitperson and do everything I can to make sure you have a wonderful, wonderful dining experience. We are orgasmically delighted to see you and….” When a waiter oozes like that, sure, he’s looking for tips, but I wonder, tips of what?

In Mexico waiters are courteous but you can tell they don’t want to sit in your lap or have a long-term relationship. In New York a waiter says, “What’ll it be?” and you say, “Eggs over medium, bacon on the side, cuppa mud,” and he says, “You got it.” Human. It gets the job done. You couldn’t write a Proust novel about it.

Anyway, the place was big, I’d guess between seventy-five and a hundred people doing the squat-and-gobble, likely disgorging on average a C-note per. This is DC, with the five richest counties in America, Montgomery, Loudoun, Fairfax, that kind of place, a city where the graft never stops, recession proof, where bribes run in freshets. Out there in Flyover Land, in Appalachia and the Rust Belt and the rural Deep South, families think going to Mickey D’s is a treat. And the swarming derelicts in the warm states increase in their medieval Ly diseased hordes.

Guillotine stocks. It’s the way to invest.

Washington is a rerun. In Paris in 1788 , creeping toward the Terror, the aristocracy was, like Washington’s upper crust, wealthy and schooled and cultured and cared not a withered farthing about the peasantry, as neither does Washington. Marie Antoinette didn’t really say, “Let them eat cake,” but they all thought it, and Hillary Antoinette, with her contempt for the Basket of Deplorables, expresses the same sentiment. There will be a price. Maybe anyway.

I spent two weeks in this diseased city wondering, “What are they thinking? The country is disintegrating internally, inflation growing like kudzu on a Georgia roadcut, living standards falling, the schools going to hell, and Washington is worried about…the Ukraine? Things crumble, resources are desperately needed domestically, and Washington buys the B-21, which Aviation Week prices at $640 million a copy of which, by design, you have probably never heard.”

It’s nuts. The racial situation is an intensifying disaster with continent-wide rioting, burning cities, ghetto kids graduating illiterate, desperate white people offing themselves with opioids, the rabble storming the Bastille—wait, this time I think it was the Capitol–but we need to raise prices by tariffs on China and Russia.

One night we went to eat with old friends from an earlier life. Like so many in DC, they were ninety-ninth percentile in intelligence, well educated, and decent people. We pondered, “Thai? Chinese? There’s a new Turkish place that’s supposed to be good.” Again, good people, though living in million-dollar houses, but…but…for much of the country Turkish, in some spiffy joint on Cap Hill or upper Connecticut Ave, would be the adventure of a lifetime. Washington has an ampleness of evil people, the Bidens, Blinkens, Victoria Newlands, Trump at one remove, but so many are just out of touch. There’s a new Turkish place in the city, and when was the last time they dined in Flint?

The media, a salt mine in which I once labored, are an embarrassment, utterly partisan, ranting and howling about Russia. OK, in war it is usual to cut the public off from information and to keep them stirred up with accounts of rape, human shield, “genocide,” chemical war, massacres, torture, a rule of television being to get a woman to cry and fill the frame. In Vietnam the media ran all over the country and actually reported what was happening, which eventually ended the war. This error is not being repeated.

{what bothers me is the apparent lack of curiosity, of doubt of official sources. Contrary to belief in some quarters, reporters are not given orders to adopt a particular point of view, though they know better than to contradict the publication’s line. No scribbler at the Washington Post will discuss racial differences in intelligence. But they are herd animals.}

Violeta, whose cynicism toward government—anybody’s government—would peel paint from a wall, watched a video clip purportedly of a Russian tank crushing a car occupied by Ukrainians. She noticed after research that the Russian tank was black without markings, like Ukrainian tanks, instead of green with markings, like all other Russian tanks. OK, maybe it was an undercover Russian tank. She also noticed in some of the Russian-destruction video, street signs are blurred out. Uh…, why dat? Anyone want to guess?

Why do reporters not pay attention? First, again, they are creatures of the pack. They live in the Beltway Terrarium, talk to each other, read each other, and so know they are right. Don’t their colleagues all say so? Second, they are painfully ignorant of matters military, knowing chiefly the bureaucracies involved in policy, contracting, and so on. This includes those for the WaPo, whom I knew—Gerge Wilson, Molly Moore, etc. As a comparison with the coverage of the Washington media, here is a piece by Scott Ritter, a former American intelligence officer stationed in, among other places, Moscow. It is long but contains the kind of knowledge that not one of the Beltways reporters, squalling, screeching, preening and yodeling has an earthworm’s grasp.

Why did Russia attack? Anyone who can read a map can see that since 1991 the US has been trying, with considerable success, to encircle Russia militarily. Russia has said over and over that it was not going to have American missiles on its border in the Ukraine any more than America would allow Chinese missiles in Tijuana. I encountered no one in DC who had even heard of this, though it has been going on for years. This is journalism?

Yes.

All things end, except those that don’t. On a cold rainy predawn morning we caught an Uber to Reagan National, returning to a country that has just left the Third World to one energetically returning to it. A stewardess aboard read the boilerplate about have a wonderful flight. She didn’t explain just how that laudable goal might be achieved. Remember, cometh the guillotine. Kachunk. Kachunk. Kachun.

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31 Comments
hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 7:57 am

He’s still alive?

They should clone his liver.

Ghost
Ghost
  hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 8:08 am

I’ve heard that eating the worm in the bottom of the tequila bottle is good for the liver.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  Ghost
April 24, 2022 9:23 am

The last time I ate the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle I woke up on a bus to Ft Benning.

YMMV.

Mountainrat
Mountainrat
  hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 5:16 pm

Sand Hill or Harmony Church?

Ken31
Ken31
  Mountainrat
April 24, 2022 8:21 pm

I thought PI was miserable, but Sand Hill was also miserable.

Llpoh
Llpoh
  hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 8:29 am

Why would we want more than one of that bile-filled organ. One is more than enough.

pyrrhuis
pyrrhuis
  hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 8:34 am

Hey, Keith Richards is still alive…..Anything can happen…

lamont cranston
lamont cranston
  hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 10:50 am

The late, great Phil Harris lived to 91. He was asked the secret of his longevity shortly before he died in the mid-1990s. His comment was, “The government is trying to find a place to bury me where my liver won’t contaminate the area.”

Mygirl....maybe
Mygirl....maybe
  hardscrabble farmer
April 24, 2022 8:08 pm

They should stuff him in a sack and toss him down a Mexican well. Let him enjoy the wonders of Mexico for eternity there, or else he can come to Texas where most of Mexico and Latin America has invaded. He’ll fit right in. Dumb shit.

Llpoh
Llpoh
April 24, 2022 8:27 am

I didn’t like him mocking the waiter. They are doing a job, and quite possibly are instructed in how to address their customers.

I have travelled the world extensively. And I can assure you, no place I have ever visited has restaurant service that the US does. And it isn’t even a close run thing. Almost universally you get excellent service in the US. Is it related to tips? Oh yes. But I like good service.

In Gallup NM, in a hole in the wall dump of a cafe, I encountered the single best waitress I have ever encountered. She was outstanding in every way. I left a very large tip, as it warms my heart to see anyone as good at anything as she was at waitressing. She was a savant.

So Fred can get fucked for mocking hard-working Americans. All work is honorable. And too bad he is too cheap to buy a better seat. At least it gave him something else to whine about. Which is what he wants.

What an asshole.

flash
flash
  Llpoh
April 24, 2022 8:42 am

He was mocking the swarmy faggotry involved , not the service.

Llpoh
Llpoh
  flash
April 24, 2022 9:20 am

He was mocking the waiter. Lots of shit happens in the world – mocking someone for being overly pleasant who is just doing their job is uncalled for.

Red River D
Red River D
  Llpoh
April 24, 2022 9:49 am

Clearly you have not rightly analyzed the leftist disease. Those infected by the disease turn everything they touch to diseased shit. Including being pleasant. They ruin that too.

And if you truly appreciated examples of excellence in craftsmen or service workers plying their trade, then you would have appreciated the article as one such example.

Piss on all smarmy obsequious servo mechanisms of the Beast. Being overly pleasant is just another form of lying and deceit.

Stucky
Stucky
  flash
April 24, 2022 9:41 am

Also, he was talking about ONE restaurant, and that, in Swamp City … not the entire USA.

Ghost
Ghost
  Stucky
April 24, 2022 10:01 am

fwiw? I don’t like those sorts of waitstaff, either (genderfree, tsk, tsk).

Oh, and I’m not denutting your rodents for you.

Didius Julianus
Didius Julianus
  Llpoh
April 24, 2022 3:46 pm

My experience in New Zealand was that the waiters and waitresses are just as good as in the U.S. Yes, I was surprised by it since they do not work for the tips. My better half and I actually liked it better since they were polite and prompt overall but did not say those things that some U.S. equivalents do to try to boost their tips (in other words, they were not over the top, touching you on the shoulder and things like that).

Didius Julianus
Didius Julianus
  Llpoh
April 24, 2022 3:48 pm

Also (as a follow-up to my 1st comment), we tip very well in the U.S. We know from a first hand source (our daughter who moon lights as a waitress on the weekends) what those types of jobs are like.

subwo
subwo
  Llpoh
April 24, 2022 9:00 pm

A quarter century ago We ate at a Friendly’s in CT. The crusty waitress was shadowing our teenage waitress on her first table. The kid was non college bound. She did a good job for her first time and got a nice tip along with a silver dollar to commemorate her first customers. Kindness goes far as one meets people on all paths.

robert
robert
  Llpoh
April 27, 2022 10:36 am

My best waitress ever was in Idaho. I was 17 and really tired from driving for many hours. I had a really good meal, and she told me I could take a shower and have a sleep in one of the rooms that they had available for truckers, no charge, they were provided as a courtesy.
After any trip to the States, returning to Canada was a shock – the attitude was shut up and pay, take it or leave it, etc.
But generally in the States, maybe especially some time back because I haven’t been there for a while, friendly caring service (without the fake over-friendly), making you feel welcome was and probably still is, the rule.

flash
flash
April 24, 2022 8:28 am

“This is DC, with the five richest counties in America, Montgomery, Loudoun, Fairfax, that kind of place, a city where the graft never stops, ”

Money whores running the country is why nothing will get better. I would say, be happy with what you have, but the money whores are coming for that too. They want it all.

Glock-N-Load
Glock-N-Load
  flash
April 24, 2022 4:05 pm

I live in Fairfax County VA. I saw 4 Ferraris and a Bentley today and I only went to the kids park and to a chocolate festival.

Mike
Mike
April 24, 2022 9:23 am

I have no idea who Fred Reed is but I like his writing style. No bullshit and straight to the point.

Red River D
Red River D
  Mike
April 24, 2022 9:52 am

“…doing the squat and gobble…”

Fuggeddabowwdit.

Excellent writing.

Ginger
Ginger
  Red River D
April 24, 2022 12:46 pm

Guy looks like he is attempting yet failing to be Hunter Thompson.

‘The sporting editors had also given me $300 in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely dangerous drugs. The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers … and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

All this had been rounded up the night before, in a frenzy of high-speed driving all over Los Angeles County – from Topanga to Watts, we picked up everything we could get our hands on. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. Probably at the next gas station. We had sampled almost everything else, and now – yes, it was time for a long snort of ether. And then do the next 100 miles in a horrible, slobbering sort of spastic stupor. The only way to keep alert on ether is to do up a lot of amyls – not all at once, but steadily, just enough to maintain the focus at 90 miles an hour through Barstow.

“Man, this is the way to travel,” said my attorney.’

Anthony Aaron
Anthony Aaron
  Ginger
April 24, 2022 4:28 pm

Hunter S. Thompson had a way with the words … especially about his (seemingly) favorite topic/endeavor — drugs …

PleasureOhm
PleasureOhm
  Red River D
April 24, 2022 4:00 pm

In the immortal words of the Bandit, “I’m gonna drop the little dolly here off at a choke-and-puke, and then I’ll get right back on the job.”

Red River D
Red River D
  PleasureOhm
April 24, 2022 7:01 pm

You know… that phrase ‘squat and gobble’ also reminded me of ‘choke and puke’ from Smokey and the Bandit!!!

Drivin’ throug people’s back yards… knockin’ down mailboxes…

He’s got a broad in the car… took her across the state line. That’s the Mann Act.

I don’t think he’s got her permission… and that’s kidnapping.

How’s that for hijinks?

Warren
Warren
  Mike
April 24, 2022 10:08 am

Fred Reed on Fred Reed

“After two years at Hampden-Sydney, where I worked on a split major in chemistry and biology with an eye to oceanography, I decided I was bored. After spending the summer thumbing across the continent and down into Mexico, hopping freight trains up and down the eastern seaboard, and generally confusing myself with Jack Kerouac, I enlisted in the Marines, in the belief that it would be more interesting than stirring unpleasant glops in laboratories and pulling apart innocent frogs. It certainly was. On returning from Vietnam with a lot of stories, as well as a Purple Heart and more shrapnel in my eyes than I really wanted, I graduated from Hampden-Sydney with lousy grades and a bachelor-of-science degree with a major in history and a minor in computers. Really. My GREs were in the 99th percentile.”

Anonymous
Anonymous
April 24, 2022 10:00 am

“If you can sell watery brew at seven balloonishly inflating greenbacks a can, why do you need an airline?” LOL

Warren
Warren
April 24, 2022 10:02 am

He seems to believe that Mexico can stay a first world country even if the US experiences an economic collapse. Failing to recognize that it is American money flowing into Mexico that is propping up that county’s economy. Especially since Mexico’s oil production has entered a precipitous decline.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Warren
April 24, 2022 11:17 am

The only money flowing into Mexico from the US is Mexicans sending money home and 300 million drug-addled liberals crowdsourcing the Cartel’s takeover of avocado orchards.